Nobody told me this was a life-time job (whine, whine)
Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2003:
Nobody told me this was a life-time job (whine, whine)
Wednesday night I was at the ER with my 36 year old son (now living with me). (This after he had no success in dealing with his health insurance company to get approval for the ER visit, so I made some calls to the insurer and got it sorted out.) He was diagnosed with a thrombus, which is a sort of hemmorhoid but with a blood vessel, captured and pinched by the rectal muscles, and excruciatingly painful (not by any means dangerous, but so very painful). The doc said choose conservative treatment (sitz baths, topical ointments, pain medication) or immediate surgery and my son opted for conservative treatment. We were there until 1:00 a.m. and I was really dragging at work Thursday.
This morning, 36 hours later in conservative treatment, he was at a 7 (out of 1-10) pain level, no improvement. I expressed concern that we not go into the weekend with this not getting better because of the severe pain involved. He agreed and, since he is on vacation right now, called his doc to see him. But, only one doc on duty today, no appointments for 2-3 weeks (which is not very helpful). I said call my doc. They couldn't see him because of his insurance, so he called me. I said call the insurance, which he did, they switched him to my doc, and my doc had an opening.
He saw my doc, and sent me an email (as he is not home now). My doc saw him, arranged immediate surgery with a specialist, he had the surgery, feels much much much better, and is happily off to see his girlfriend.
But, doggone it, I thought I was done with this sort of stuff when they all left home in their 18-21 year old periods. Nobody told me, when I first got pregnant, that this is something that you can never stop once it starts!
I love my sons dearly, and they are always there for me when I need them. But I never contemplated late night ER visits with one of my sons at ages 64 (me) and 36 (him).
I am, of course, delighted that all went well, and pleased (smugly) that my doc was the one who sorted it out for him.
Still, somewhere at the back of my mind I really thought that at some point I could become a hands-off mom. Guess not.
Wow! What type of surgery is done that quickly?? Glad he's doing so much better. And no, it never stops - once a mom, always a mom.
Wow, glad he feels better. No, I don't think you ever stop being a mom.
He is feeling much much much better. Karen, a thrombus is a very obvious though (usually) not large protrusion, and it is really just a matter of snip, snip, stitch, stitch. He is having some post-op discomfort, but says it is absolutely nothing compared to the pre-op pain.
I am so grateful to my doctor. My son went to the family doc I have used since 1992, when we moved out to this suburb and I wanted a good doc for my aging parents. My son says the doc looked at the thrombus, said I don't want you to be in this high level of pain for the weekend, called a specialist, said just go over there and don't worry about the paperwork, we'll take care of it. The specialist's office took him right in and told him (accurately) it will take you longer to undress than it will to do the surgery. And I am grateful to my doc's receptionist. I called her after my son told me he had gotten the appointment to thank her. She told me that she was concerned about my son's pain level from what he was describing, and was making calls to specialists to have one available if her boss decided to send my son for surgery.
It is so nice when a medical office not only does everything right, but does everything really well, does it with kindness and thoughtfulness, and everything turns out well.
If anyone needs a family doc in the Jenkintown/Glenside area of Philadelphia suburbs,I can certainly recommend one.
That was nice of them to take care of your son so quickly. I'm sure he is feeling MUCH better.
Ginny, those docs are few and far between now, you are fortunate.
My SIL had a thrombus about two years ago. My DD ( an RN), put him in the tub to soak, to try to relieve the pain. It was so intense, that he passed out in the tub. He's a police officer, so he's a TOUGH guy, but he said that the pain was unbearable. They ended up at the ER, too, where they took care of it.
His Mom has really bad varicose veins, and he gets hemmorhoids, so the doc said there is usually a genetic tendency.
So glad that things worked out for you DS. And, yes, we are ALWAYS and forever Moms.
Ginny...you are a great mom! And, I was just thinking the other day when my DD5 was sick, and I was *holding her hair back* for her, that the worry and concern I feel for her (and all my DK's) will be never ending.
I'm glad your son is feeling better! Tell him he's lucky to have a mom like you  (but he probably already knows that!)
Thank you, dear. I usually feel like a successful Mom. And, bless his heart, this dear son (and the other two) appreciate me.
He is feeling much, much better. We had a talk, because I was afraid that he felt I was "taking over" when I urged him to the ER and to my doc, and he said no, he felt I was just being a concerned mom and he didn't feel taken over. I have to watch that, as I have real power and control issues (no kidding) and my kids suffered from it and battled me about it many many times.
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