I have been struggling with Sydney's room (now 6) for a few years now. I just can't seem to get her to keep it clean. I'm wondering what other families do. I've done the "You can feel free to keep whatever you pick up." Well, we now have bins and bins of stuff in the basement. Obviously she has TOO much stuff!

One other Mom I know who has a big family says she doesn't keep toys in her boys bedroom. Only in the family room/play room. She says it always stays clean and then they just have to pick up laundry and make their beds.

I have a closet outside of her room, that right now is just blankets and sort of a junk closet that needs to be cleaned out. I was debating on making this for toys. Keep the toys out of the bedroom and have more bins in there and she can only take out one at a time....

She is just a nightmare with this issue. She has a book shelf for her books and she reads at night and takes stacks and stacks of them off the shelves. I'm just so tired of the mess. Any advice would be welcome!

By Sandysmom on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 09:27 am:

I have fought this battle before. My DD is just not one to keep her room clean. In times past, DH & I have given her a set amount of time to clean her room or we informed her that we would be doing it and that we could throw away whatever we felt necessary. Well, we ended up having to clean her room and she in no way could complain because we gave her fair warning to do it herself. Within a few months, it was back to the way it looked before. I figured that it was not a battle worth picking because, she would have to be the one living in that mess - not me, and she will be the embarassed one if someone sees it that she doesn't want to see it, and as long as she was doing what I asked of her outside her room, then I just let it go. We have tried other things to at least help her organize by installing a closet organizer, but it's still a mess. I have seen some of her friend's rooms and have come to the conclusion that her mess is middle of the road compared to what I've seen. So, we just let it go.

By Tink on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 09:43 am:

I've been fighting this battle with my oldest dd since she was younger than Syd. This fall, she and I together decided to pack up everything that wasn't essential (school supplies, clothing, a limited number of books) and stored it in her huge walk-in closet. I'm still blown away by the mess she can make in her room without any toys in there but she has a much smaller amount of things to make a mess with and she can only get something out of her closet with my permission, which hinges on what state her room already is in. If I can't see her carpet, she has to have her floor clean before she can get any CD's, art supplies, or stuffed animals out. Wanting to get something out is a big enough motivator that she rarely complains about cleaning up her room and it's usually only trash and laundry so it's pretty quick and easy. I wish I'd started this when she was in preschool and saved us years of arguments. I vote in favor of trying out the closet and see if it works as well for you and Syd as it has for us.

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 09:46 am:

LOL, Eve! Bethany and Sydney are definitely related. Like Sandysmom, we've tried everything. It drives me bonkers, but I have pretty much given up. The only time I make it an issue is if/when we are expecting company. For example, friends from NH are coming this weekend and I told the kids their rooms need to be presentable. B asked me to help and I'm OK with that, as long as she puts forth genuine effort. Thankfully, her room isn't too bad at the moment. There have been times when the floor wasn't visible. It still baffles me how ONE child can create such huge messes! Ty is so very different in this department. Rarely makes messes and cleans up, usually without prompting, if/when he does.

Our playroom is another trouble area. I had it pretty ship shape for when Mason was here last week, but it already is a mess. Totally created by B! She seems to enjoy making these messes. While playing she mixes up toys and pieces from different games and sets. Although this could be considered creative, it is a major PITB to sort out and organize. ARGH!

I feel your pain!

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 10:06 am:

When my kids were little they were not allowed to have toys in their room.. They had an area, where the toys were kept. Then as they got older I allowed them to take a few things in and now at 10 (my youngest) they are allowed to have all toys in their room.. But they are at a point where the toys are few and they are more responsible then they were at 6 years old.

My sister's kids had way to many toys. She donated a bunch of them to the battered women shelter and the homeless shelter.. You can't expect a child that has a mess load of toys to be able to manage them. It is overwhelming for you it is way overwhelming for her...

But non the less, it is like anything else trial and error and it is common in most if not all homes... So just breath, this too shall pass... Now to figure out how to deal with it in the mean time..

By Debbie on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 10:16 am:

Well, my oldest is like this. He is now 9. Last summer, before we moved, we did a BIG clean out. We packed up everything that he hadn't played with in awhile, and donated it. He now has about 5 bins in his walk in closet. I have also started helping him clean it BEFORE it gets to be such a big mess, otherwise he just gets too overwhelmed. I have come to accept the fact that he is just messy.

After we did the clean out, he told me he was so glad. He felt very overwhelmed with all his stuff. He was also very happy that he was able to give it to someone who needed it. I have to say, he has not missed a thing he has given away.

By Yjja123 on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 11:52 am:

I agree that the first thing to do is a clean out. We do this at least twice a year. The other thing is to make sure everything has a place. If there isn't really room for everything, it is hard to clean a room clean. Have designated areas for everything. There is no confusion if the child knows exactly where to put everything. After that, it is just about making it a daily habit. I do not mind if my kids make a mess playing. They know that it all MUST be picked up before bedtime. There are consequences if they do not keep it clean.
Good luck! The earlier you get this issue addressed, the easier it will be in the long run.

By Karen~admin on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 12:39 pm:

Welcome to the world of raising girls. LOL Though I agree with Yvonnne about a place for everything, it doesn't *always*" work for everyone. I had girls who didn't give a hoot about the consequences.

This was a constant battle with Jen growing up. She has recently moved back home, and she was really making an effort to keep her room clean. She's been really good about the *public* areas of the house too. However, the last week she is slipping and it's time to address this again. Of course, at 22, she should KNOW better! LOL

In hindsight, I think I would have tried removing things from the room. I did, however, do clean sweeps every now and then, when it got too bad, and anything that was on the floor was taken away. That tends to get results the quickest - if it's something they want, they'll clean up their act quickly. If they don't mention it, then it doesn't get returned anyway.

By Nicki on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 12:41 pm:

I learned with the help of the great ladies here that less is better! DD and I have "cleaned sweeped" her room. Fortunately we have a storage shed. I alternate her toys now. The book shelf problem was solved by only filling it with half of her books at a time. She still has them on the floor, but when I ask her to pick them up, it's not so overwhelming. She and I are both happier.
Good luck!

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 02:21 pm:

LOL! I'm still fighting this battle and I have teens! I think Sarah's room will only stay clean, when she goes off to college, in the fall!

By Truestori on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 - 09:24 pm:

Hmmmm.... I should snap a picture of my daughter's room right now for ya! LOL
My son is organized, my daughter is not.
I am still trying to find a solution, but atleast now she is old enough to go clean when I tell her it has to be done.

By Karen~admin on Wednesday, May 23, 2007 - 08:46 am:

Stori, I did that with both my DD's, thinking it would give them some incentive to clean up the mess, if they thought I'd show the pics to anyone. I think I even posted one from Jen's room 5 years ago. All it did was tick her off, made no difference in the room. LOL