This is going to be Dh's first mother's day without his mother, so it's going to be a sad one for all of us. I would like to do something for him but I am out of ideas. Can anyone help?

By Kaye on Friday, May 11, 2007 - 08:16 am:

No ideas, but i have BTDT. Honestly for me, I just want to be left alone. I don't mind my kids doing whatever little thing they do at school, but it has changed that holiday for me forever. Personally a hug and some space and understanding is enough for me.

By Karen~admin on Friday, May 11, 2007 - 08:56 am:

Each of us deals with the loss of a parent and grieves in a different way. One think I can think of is, if you have enough photos of his mom, alone or with different family members, you could make a small album for him. Set aside some time to just talk about her, give him lots of hugs, listen to him, allow him the space and time he needs to grieve - even if he just needs silence or a shoulder to cry on.

As Kaye said, losing my Mom and my MIL has changed Mothers Day for me, but I don't dwell on it. I feel sad because they are no longer here, I am aware of the fact that they are *missing* on that day, and I tend to need some time to myself, to be alone with my thoughts. As long as I have that, I'm OK.

The first year is the hardest, IMO.....this is the 2nd year with both my Mom and my MIL.

By Missymelissy on Friday, May 11, 2007 - 02:27 pm:

I was going to suggest hugs.

This is my first Mother's Day without my mom (she passed in December), it's going to be very hardfor me also.

All you can do is share his memories with him. Be there for him. Tell him you love him.

By Colette on Friday, May 11, 2007 - 04:05 pm:

Thanks everyone. Melissa, we lost my mil in December too. NOt a day goes by that we don't think of her. I think this will be a quiet mother's day.

By Colette on Friday, May 11, 2007 - 05:37 pm:

found this

Mother’s Day is usually a time to celebrate and give thanks to that special woman we call mom. But what if your mother has passed away? Facing Mother’s Day after the death of your mother is difficult. This year, why not celebrate the life of dear ‘ol mom instead of focusing on her loss? Here are four activities to help make this Mother’s Day a bit brighter.

1. Express your feelings.

We’ve all been told that expressing our feelings is an important step in the healing process. So try writing your mom a letter. Fill the page with memories of special moments you shared, questions you never had a chance to ask, or simply what you miss most about her. Anything goes. If you’re pressed for time, use a mini tape recorder. Save your letters or recordings in a safe place, and return to them every year. You’ll find comfort in the healing you’ve made over time.

2. Watch it grow.

In many parts of the country, Mother’s Day arrives at a perfect time for planting. Design a small theme garden that can be added to year after year. Your theme garden could feature varying shades of your mom’s favorite color, a group of special herbs, or wild flowers that are perfect for arrangements. If planting a garden is a bit too time consuming, buy a large flowerpot and design a mini theme garden instead. Either way, planting flowers is a beautiful celebration of your mother, and you’ll find the physical activity both calming and mood boosting.

3. Picture it again and again.

Photographs provide us with a wonderful way to capture precious moments. Dig through that big box of photos, and choose a few of your mom that are extra special. Consider choosing pictures of various sizes, and ones that capture the changing relationship you and your mother shared. Select distinctive picture frames that capture the spirit of your photos. Group the photos together and display them somewhere you wouldn’t expect to find family photos, such as the bathroom counter or near the kitchen sink. You’ll be sure to smile when greeted by this surprise.

4. Comfort food.

Whether it’s pot roast or peanut butter cookies, moms seem to have that special knack for cooking up comfort. So this Mother’s Day, why not try cooking your mom’s special something yourself? Consider sharing mealtime with a few women who have touched your life in a meaningful way. This thoughtful gesture celebrates and give thanks those who continue to enrich your life.

Although Mother’s Day won’t ever be quite the same again, enjoy using these ideas to honor that very special relationship. You’ll soon see that this otherwise gloomy day will brighten with a unique ray of light.

By Missymelissy on Friday, May 11, 2007 - 09:40 pm:

Colette, Thanks so much for finding this.

I'm the same as you - not a day goes by that I don't think of my mom. I miss her dearly, but I know that she is at peace and isn't suffering any more.

Take care and hugs to you and hubby. I'll be thinking of you on Sunday.