Work Vent ( my dh is tired of hearing it )
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive May 2007:
Work Vent ( my dh is tired of hearing it )
I just don't know how much more I can really take. I took a promotion over a year ago from a night job to a day job. On my night job I was pretty much alone my whole shift. I was like a house parent for clients with a mental illness. My new job I worked in the office days taking them to apts, doing the necessary paperwork ect.. Well when I took my promotion I knew my boss was a difficult person. But I wanted to work days. She is very self centered, and she can just be very mean, critical and hurtful. So when she announced that she was going to be going to school and doing an internship 2 days a week it was somewhat of a blessing. But of course that meant more work for the two of us left. Believe me I still had to put up with her enough.
Fast forward to this month and my other co worker retired. They were going to try and replace him with someone with a masters who would be able to overtake my bosses position when and if she does leave. She could train her replacement. Her internship is in a completely different field. She will more then likely find something this summer. Well that didn't happen. So we are now down to her and I and of course the two days a week me.
Well lo and behold this week they announce a change of plans they are not going to hire what we call an assistant team leader. They are going to hire another casemanager like me. Which of course means no promotion for me. Yet I am doing the work, picking up her slack ect... I will say that this was not my direct superviors decision it was her supervisors. But she could really care less because she is basically out the door. She had the nerve to say to me that I should be happy. "you didn't want the job anyway did you?" Hello??? She is so into herself she didn't even know?
I questioned in a respectful way, her boss, why the position was being changed instead of just the credentials. I had the same credentials as the retiring assistant and could have applied. I was told that since they could not hire a new supervisor (someone with a masters). She felt that she didn't want to hire the new person whoever they will be's assistant. That should be up to them. I think one this is a convient way for her not to have to do it and two they are saving a ton of money.
But I feel totally used and certainly no guarantee that this will resolve itself in a reasonable manner. I could be working my ••• off doing the work of three people and in the end get nothing. I am not even making now what they should be paying me for all the work I am doing. My dh thinks this is just part of the game ect... But its easy for him to say when he works for the same company different dept. They have 8 people in there department. Mine was three now 1 and if you can even call her a half. I am so angry and I know if I show it. It won't due me any good and could blow what chance I may have of eventually getting this promotion.
So meanwhile I grin and bear it. I am miserable and feel terrible but I have no choice to but to keep going. I make it through the work day only to break down once I get home. And yes my dh is sick of me complaining. I guess it just felt good getting this out. Oh and I recently went on antidepressants but I couldn't tell you if they were working because under these circumstances any one would be miserable. If you go this far you are a saint.
(((BIG HUGS)))) You do have other choices,don't you??? I worked in a place that made my stomach feel sick and knotted just thinking about going in.I really at that time was afraid of change and just put up with it.You don't have to.Write a list of pros and cons on why you work there.You see these people more than your family so you should like it.Once your health and family are being affected its time to move on.You can do it!!You will be much happier 
I am sorry that you are going through this. Your dh probably just doesn't know what he can do for you.
You have probably been dealing with the negative influence of your supervisor for so long now that it doesn't take much for you to be negative about yourself.
I heard Suzie Orman talk about this on the radio. She talked about a book that she just wrote, Women and Money, and in it she talks about how you need to realize (and I am sure that you do) that you are worth more than what they are giving you and that you have the right to negotiate your salary based on what you know that you are worth. I think that you should sit down with the other supervisor (not the one leaving) and talk to her about this. You can do this in a respectful manner but yet you can also do this with confidence. (It will show.) Illustrate that, even if you can't have the designation of the promotion, you should at least be compensated for the extra work you have been doing while your immediate supervisor has been working her way through school and internship, and that this is work that you will continue to do since they are not hiring a replacement.
If this doesn't work, I know that you are hoping for a promotion, but I would question whether or not I really wanted to work for people who clearly didn't value me and my extra effort.
(((Anon))) You have to positive and look for a change. My company is probably going to lose employees to a new center that pays more, and I brought this up in a meeting. One of my bosses said we'll only lose 3%, because people fear change too much. Don't fear finding another job where you will be happy.
I have been looking in the paper. Problem is I have been there for 8 years in some capacity, parttime , fulltime, sub. So I am up to quite a good salary. 5 weeks vacation, plus sick and holiday. (of course that is if my boss lets me take the vacation.) Plus I have worked in foster care and quite honestly this clientel is cake compared to that. My clients are not the problem here.
I am hoping if I can just ride this out when my boss leaves I can speak to her supervisor about compensation or possibly the promotion. If I do so know I feel like she would just sabatoge it. I don't think that she doesn't think I don't do good work , or I am not doing my fair share. I just think she would never admit that this has been unfair to me and I am doing more or the workload. This would be beneath her. The sooner the leaves the better. I just pray they have someone else there by then!
Thanks for the good thoughts. Like I said it just felt better venting. It also didn't hurt that my dh went to DQ for me after the kids were asleep.
Let me ask you this, what would they do if today you walked in there and put in a 2 week notice? Is there someone waiting in the wings that could quickly step in and take over your position or would they be left high and dry?
If the staff is down to just you, you might be in the best position ever to get what you want!
Dear anon,
No advice, I believe you work in the social service field?
To change to a new job the pay is crappy.
My dh is going through a similar thing.
He goes out to school districts and works with ed, autism and aspberger students.
However, in this middle school, whenever there is any bad kids they are sent to dh instead of the principals office. I mean any kid. He gets no support from from his employer nor the school in which he works.
He is looking for a new job and most jobs start out less than $10 working with these kids.
Many ((((anon))) It takes a special person to work with these types of kids and adults.
I also went to dairy queen last night and bought dh a chocolate covered strawberry waffle cone.
No advice, but really they did treat you unfairly
Do you like your job?? Working with the clients?
I have no advice, just hugs.
{{{HUGS ANON!!}}}
Thanks again everyone. To answer your question Vicky Personally I think they would be SOL if I did that. Which by the way I would love to do. But as you asked Bobbie. I do like the clients I work with. People have a perception of working with the mentally ill and I guarantee you its probably not what you would think at all. Grant it I work with higher functioning indivdiuals. Working in a hospital or nursing home is much sicker clients. But some of my clients have families, college degrees or are working on them. Some work. There is a lot of different scenarios but they have all been good to me. I have never felt threatened or scared of them in any way. I guess that is my bright side and I have to remember that. I had one of my clients tell his Dr. today how much I have meant to him and that made me feel good.
The other type of work I can do around here is Foster care or we have a Facility for kids who have been sexually abused and ones that have abused. I have been there done that and no thank you.
I did get informed today that I guy that his wife actually works with my dh is interviewing. I have met him, he is nice. I think we would get along. But being on a board of ladies I know you understand when I say I fear they will pull the ol the mans better for the job trick. In other words I'll train him and then he gets my promotion. We shall just have to see. Thanks again and I do feel better today.
Are you well provided for?? Health insurance, paid vacations and decent pay? Would this promotion, make working with that woman any easier? If this guy does walk into "your" position (which I agree that this is likely, we do still live in a "all boys club" society) will that make your efforts for these people any less valuable?? Did you go to college or put in effort beyond just applying this position to be good at this type of job? Helping people is what you had wanted to do when you took this job, correct? Or were you looking at it because of the income posibilties??? Do you feel that they are taking advantage of you or are you going beyond because of your own want to do a good job?? I ask because some people are quite dim when it comes to the efforts of others, only focusing on themselves (refering to your employers) and their grand accomplishments and they easily over look the efforts of the people that carry a lot of their work load for them.....
I think everyone on here would agree that they aren't paid well enough for the services they provide, SAHM surely are included in that complaint, LOL.. You have to decide why exactly you chose to do the job you are doing and where its value to you lies.. Is it from the employers?? The clients and their families?? Do you see the effects of your efforts??
Some of the lowest paid people in this world carry the highest societal value, if you ask me and no matter what they get paid it would never be enough to compensate them for the lives they touch...
Service connect employment has got to be done for the love of the job, once again SAHM can be included in this.. We have to stay focused on our purpose and not the drama of the people around us.. They try to suck us in and suck us down, this seems to be the nature of human beings at our finest.. We loose focus and we loose effectiveness. Our lives become about the wrongs against us and we get bogged down by resentments. In a job where our lives touch the lives of others we have to stay focused or we loose our love.. No money can give us that back and that jobs becomes a drudge.
I am sure 20 years from now that woman will be a faint memory but the lives you have touched will give you great pride. Find your focus and purpose in choosing this type of employment..... Best of luck...
I was not asking that question because I thought you should quit. I was asking because if they would be SOL if you did it, you are now in a position of having a little power. If you went in and directly asked for the position, or a raise for all the work you are doing or something along those lines, you are in a good position to get it if the staff is just down to you. If there isn't someone waiting in the wings to fill your position, I would think they would be eager to keep you!
|
Members
