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I think I'm the queen at receiving tacky wedding invites...

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive March 2007: I think I'm the queen at receiving tacky wedding invites...
By Mrsheidi on Monday, March 26, 2007 - 10:25 pm:

Remember the one I received via "Evite"? This one isn't *as* tacky but they sent a paper invite with all the places they're registered at. Target, Crate and Barrel...aren't they supposed to let the bridesmaids and family spread that word? I asked her in an email, before she sent the invite, where they were registered and she didn't answer my question. I think that most people will ask...I just thought it was weird to receive it in the formal invite.

Or...am I, at age 31, old fashioned already?

By Breann on Monday, March 26, 2007 - 10:38 pm:

LoL! I would say that at least 90% of the wedding announcements we receive come with a paper showing where the couple is registered. Even the upscale ones. I think it's "the norm" here.


The e-vite thing, that's a little over the top for me.

We received a "save the date" card in one of our Christmas cards this past Christmas. The wedding is in June. I didn't really care for that.

By Kaye on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 08:17 am:

I love the save the date stuff! It is so nice for us to be able to plan things months in advance. With three kids and us both leading scout troops, we do those calendars at the beginning of each semester.

Oh and heidi, I agree... TACKY! For me it is bad enough to have that in the shower invite, but I can understand it a little there.

By Tonya on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 08:47 am:

We are getting married in Oct. We sent our save-the-dates in our Christmas cards this past year. Everyone really liked them and thought it was a great idea to send them that way.

We will be having a wedding shower and the 2 places we will be registered at will be listed in the invite.

The only thing that should be in a wedding invite is stuff for that specific day.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 09:04 am:

I like save-the-date cards, too. My cousin sent those out, in advance of their wedding. Then we knew when it was and could write it on the calendar.

In May, one of my co-worker's sons is getting married. His dad has just given us verbal "save-the-date" requests! LOL! It's nice knowing when the wedding is.

By Debbie on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 09:30 am:

I don't mind the slip that says where the couple is registered. It saves me the time to call and find out, and I can go and get them something that they really want. If you go to the wedding, and sometimes when you don't, you get a gift. Why not get them what they want?

As far as the save the date, I think this is a great idea, especially for out of town guests. My brother and sil got married last year in Huntington Beach, Ca. Most of their guests were coming in from out of town. A lot of people, including us, made this our family vacation for the year. It was nice to know way in advance what the date was. They sent out cute magnets with their picture and the wedding date on it.

By Tayjar on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 09:48 am:

I was recently invited to a baby shower that was BYOB. Said so right on the invite. I am not kidding.

By Angellew on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 10:06 am:

I truly believe that "BYOB" and "baby shower" should NEVER be in the same sentence, let alone invitation! That's just wrong! But...

I always thought that anyplace you are registered should be in with the shower invitation, but never in the invitation. And, if you're not having a shower, a save the date with the registries is fine!

By Karen~admin on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 10:24 am:

Ditto Angela on the baby shower invites!!

I think it's now very common to include where the couple is registered in invitations - every one I've received in the last few years has that.

And I like *save the date* cards too, but I disagree with including them in Christmas cards.

By Yjja123 on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 10:32 am:

I believe that Save the date cards should be sent separately from anything else. They are proper etiquette. It allows people to plan in advance.

Sending your registration info in a wedding invitation is not proper etiquette. E-vites are just plain wrong.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 12:32 pm:

I like the save the date thing. I would never, ever respond to an e-vite on the e-vite linked site - all responses, as I understand it, are open for everyone else who is invited to see - and everyone can see who else was invited. I have gotten a couple of e-vites and have responded by separate email. Sorry, if you absolutely *must* use e-mail to invite people to an event, type one e-mail and use bcc to send it to each of the invitees - don't send me an e-vite. I don't need to know who else you invited (that won't change my mind about whether I attend) and I don't need anyone but you to see my response.

Here's what Miss Manners says:

Normally, Miss Manners insists that guests follow their prospective hosts' instructions and respond in the manner used for the invitation -- telephoned invitations by telephone, written ones in writing, and so on.
But she has her limits. For example, she cannot bring herself to use those horrid little "M------------" cards in place of a formally written response to a formally written wedding invitation. And she will not post her responses online for general perusal.
In the case of an e-mailed invitation, you may respond with an e-mail, but you may address it directly to your hosts. Be warned that the Web site is programmed to nag you for not having responded, but your conscience will be clear because you know you did.

By Bellajoe on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 09:12 pm:

We get the 'where the couple is registered' cards in the bridal shower invitation, not the wedding invitation.

I agree, a bit tacky but the evite still wins for the tackiest!

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 09:14 pm:

I know that registry info in the invite isn't proper etiquette (textbook etiquette), but I think it's great! All the invites we get have them inside. You don't always see people in the family or bridal party on a regular basis, and I really want to get the couple something THEY want. I really don't mind it. Everyone knows they're getting married, everyone knows you'll be buying a gift, why not know exactly what to buy to help out the happy couple? That's just the way I look at it I guess. :)

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 09:48 pm:

I don't mind getting something off of their registry, in fact I think it's selfish not to. However, it shouldn't come directly from the couple themselves, IYKWIM?
The shower people should send a shower invite and include those cards.

I feel as if they are saying, "You are invited and give us gifts." The whole sentiment of "We would love for you to share in this moment" is lost...

I just think it's bad form coming from the couple themselves. There are better ways to communicate where they are registered.

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 10:36 pm:

Yes, it's tacky to tell someone where to shop for their own wedding/baby gift. It takes all the appreciation out of receiving a gift that was given from the heart.

I'd just give 'em money and be done with it. :)

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 11:15 pm:

I already bought them some beer glasses off their registry. What's funny is that they registered for THREE chip/dip platters! How many does one need? They own a Humvee, have a vacation home/cabin in a different state, have legally married already, and spend over $1,000 a month on their phone bills. (Her DH is an NCO with Scott in Afghanistan.)

I know it sounds bad...but, if you have that much money, why register for 3 chip and dip bowls?

If you could register all over again, what would you NOT register for again?

Scott swore up and down he wanted a cappuccino machine...until HE had to clean it. (I don't drink coffee.) It lasted 3 months and he used it once a week. Total waste, imo. I registered fine china...I wish I hadn't. No one bought us any except one set. What would we do with one set and the others we couldn't afford at the time? 3 years later, I inherited my grandmother's which I liked anyway.

I wish we registered for a down payment on a house...LOL! :)

By Sandysmom on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 - 07:53 am:

3 chip & dip bowls? That is very odd unless they have lots of BIG parties with lots of people. Yes, I do think it's tacky to send where they registered with the actual wedding invitation. I am kind of old-fashioned as well but it seems like the "norm" is changing. It's a shame. There is something about tradition that is so romantic and yet proper at the same time. (does that sound weird?) It's too bad that everything even a wedding has to be so "casual" these days.


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