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It's finally over...

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive March 2007: It's finally over...
By Crystal915 on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 08:15 am:

My divorce was finalized Thursday morning. N has made my life a living h#ll for months now, every time I thought we could split amicably he pulled another jerk move. So, it's finally over, the only thing left is his court martial, which I'll have to testify in, and then I can be completely done with him. I'm hurt and angry because he promised me, and my children, a good life, but was too busy cheating to deliver, my children are the ones who are suffering most. Thankfully, their father has been really trying to step up, and be involved in their lives. (He lives on the east coast, and wants me and the kids to move back there, but I'm not ready to yet.) It's funny that we can now finally get along, after years of fighting like cats and dogs, but I'm really grateful because the kids need him now. On a funny note, my lawyer walked out of the courtroom with me, and said "You are divorced as of today, you can re-marry 30 days from now." I laughed and said it'll be a cold day in Hades before I even consider it.

By Yjja123 on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 08:16 am:


By Sandysmom on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 08:30 am:

I'm glad it's over for you & the kids so you can try to put it behind you and go on to bigger and better things. (((hugs)))

By Reds9298 on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 09:28 am:

I'm so glad it's over for you, but I have to say I didn't know you were getting a divorce?! I'm sorry I missed that somewhere! I'm sorry things did not work out, but glad that you are moving on to a better life for yourself and your kiddos. ((HUGS))

By Crystal915 on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 09:40 am:

Thanks everyone. Deanna, I never really announced it here, I have discussed it a few times on my blog, but things started to fall apart about a year ago, and when he quit therapy it became beyond repair. We'd actually been separated for quite a few months, I just didn't publically announce it at first.

By Cat on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 12:07 pm:

I'm glad it's finally over, Crystal. You're a free woman again!!! lol Lots of hugs, Girl.

By Annie2 on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 12:33 pm:

I'm glad it's over for you, Crystal. Boy, it's been a long time. (((HUGS)))

By Tink on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 01:20 pm:

I'm so happy to hear that you're nearly able to close the book on this part of your life. I'm hoping for much happiness for you and the kids from now on! {{{Hugs}}}

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 01:36 pm:

{{{HUGS}}} I'm glad it's finally over for you, too.

By Wandilu on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 03:42 pm:

Im glad for you too.I also was surprised to see this post.But it sounds like you are holding it together real well :)

By Nicki on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 04:18 pm:

Crystal, I'm so glad this is behind you. I'm so sorry you and your kids were going through such a tough time.
It's spring, a time for new beginnings! I'm happy for you.:-)

By Bobbie~moderatr on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 05:57 pm:

This is great news... And it better be a cold day in something...

By Karen~admin on Saturday, March 17, 2007 - 10:12 pm:

Crystal - a *wee* word of totally unsolicited advice, meant in the most friendly fashion??? Take it slow from now on! Give yourself some time, give your kids/family some time, discover who YOU are and what you want out of life before the next serious involvement.

Good luck. Divorce is not easy, as you well know. I posted once and only once about a huge mistake I made after my X and I divorced, and I married my best friend....I was pressured at a time in my life when I was not well physically, had been a single mom for several years and things were very hard on me financially and emotionally, and I used very poor judgement. The night before I did it, I knew in my heart it was a mistake and I didn't know how to get out of it. 3 months later, for me, it was over. It took another 9 months to get him out of my house and another 8 months to be legally free of him.

So take some unsolicited advice from someone who has made the mistakes, learned the lessons and has the wisdom to admit to it all - you are young, give yourself a chance to find out who you want to be.....take your time, and make a great future for you and your kids!!

By Karen~admin on Sunday, March 18, 2007 - 10:18 am:

Crystal, I hope I didn't offend you. I typed the above in the absolute most helpful spirit......what I posted above is something that is quite honestly humiliating for me, and I don't talk about it. As I said, I shared it only once here on the board in the past, and not with so much detail at that. No one likes to air their mistakes, right? But I learned some valuable lessons from it, and I guess I was hoping to share that with you.

By Crystal915 on Sunday, March 18, 2007 - 11:44 am:

No, Karen, you did not offend me. Believe me, after the last couple of years, I learned that lesson the hard way anyway. I'd been dating someone, although we broke up before he deployed, but obviously it was with the express intent of NOT being in a serious relationship. I couldn't put my kids through that again. I have to laugh, because my ex has been living with his girlfriend for months, who I'm sure will experience his true colors sooner or later. In the meantime, my kids and I are moving into our own place, I'm building my resume' by staying in my current position for at least another year, and then moving back east.

By Beth on Sunday, March 18, 2007 - 02:12 pm:

I am glad that you are through with it and picking up the pieces. You have always seemed very strong and resourceful. I hope that your ex will step up and be the father that he should be. ((HUGS))

By Tripletmom on Sunday, March 18, 2007 - 06:28 pm:

I have no advice to offer,just{{{{ hugs)))).Did Nate's family divorce your kids too.:(

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, March 18, 2007 - 11:06 pm:


By Crystal915 on Monday, March 19, 2007 - 04:58 pm:

Unfortunately, yes, because I had to detach from them, because of the domestic violence and harassment, he was using them to manipulate me, his mother's illness, etc. I'm about to post a separate thread, I've got a major decision to make and want some advice, it involves a move back to FL.

By Conni on Monday, March 19, 2007 - 05:29 pm:

Ohhh, big warm hugs {{{Crystal}}}...:( :) It's bittersweet, I know. I am glad you are no longer with the loser. I feel so bad for your kiddo's. It's so hard for them to understand. But, hey, they are young (very young) and they will come out of this for the better!!! :) You will too, as I can tell by your posts already.

More {{{HUGS}}}


By Justanaunt on Monday, March 19, 2007 - 07:09 pm:


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