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Playdates, friends ...I need help!!!

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive March 2007: Playdates, friends ...I need help!!!
By Rayelle on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 04:21 pm:

I don't know, maybe I'm weird. My kids have never gone to someones house to play and my oldest is almost 8. They've played with kids in our home, they just haven't gone anywhere except for family. My dd (6) has a friend who has come to our house. The mom never met me or anything and approached me about the girls playing together at a school event one night last year. I said sure ( dd plays with her at school) and the next day I brought her dd home from school to my house. I found it odd the mom would just let her child come to someone's house they never met and knew nothing about, but dh and I are overprotective to the point of paranoia. Anyway, this girl has come over a few times, no problems. I just know nothing about these people. Mom comes to get her and leaves, she doesn't seem interested in getting to know me or how I do things. She has said my dd can come to their house anytime and I told her when that happens i will come too until I get to know her. Is that weird? I am not ready for this. It scares me, what if they have a gun? What if she is allowed to play alone outside? I want my dd to have friends. I keep having this girl come to our house and try to avoid dd going there, but I don't want to offend the mom or have the girls not be friends. I know part of me needs to relax. They seem like nice people.

By Tripletmom on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 04:46 pm:

Your not weird!! I think alot of us moms are like this today.The weirdos have come out of the closet and now it makes us more protective of our kids.Long gone are the days when the kids come home just at meal times and we slept with the doors unlocked.I too am in the same situation.I haven't let my dd go anywhere yet without knowing the parents.We have a playdate this week-end(bowling)so I can get to know the mom better.The little friend in my dd's class is allergic to cats so coming to my house is out of the question.She invited Katie over there but I don't know the mom yet.I offered the bowling so I can get in there too lol.It's awkward isn't it.Yup,Katie can go over and play but only if her mommy can tag along lol.I don't know when or if sleepovers will ever happen(no they won't happen).I think the only bed she needs to be in is her own or her grandparents/cousins.It's REALLY difficult for me to trust anybody with my kids.I don't let her in anybody elses car either.We've ran into a few instances where the mom wanted to pick up Katie,I finally spoke up and said I didn't feel comfortable with that and I'd gladly meet there or it doesn't happen.It's really tough today to make friends isn't it.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 05:29 pm:

I am the same way too... So if you are weird than so am I..

By Rayelle on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 06:01 pm:

That's exactly it, it is hard to make friends! I never thought about a public place, that's a great idea! The girls like skating. I don't want my kids in someone's car, I don't like them riding with my parents that much. My mom got offended a few years ago when I told her she couldn't take my son in a booster seat she used for my brother to reach their dining table in 1985! If anything I thought this mom was a little too trusting, especially since her dh works at the prison. I think hearing more horror stories than I already have would really make me nuts. At least she has cousins her age. They had a sleepover last summer and it was a alot of fun for her.

By Nicki on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 06:33 pm:

Rayelle, I'm exactly the same! Dh and I are both protective, and I agree with Triplemom. Things have changed and we as parents must look out for our children.
My MIL hasn't taken our dd anywhere in her car. She purchased a car seat to have in her car when we moved here almost four years ago, but Lara has never gone anywhere with her. Dh and I are the only ones who have ever transported her. So, I worry about this, too. You're not alone.:-)

By Trina~moderator on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 06:57 pm:

Guess I'm weird, too! Add me to the list of parents who won't allow my kids to go on play dates unless I get to know the parents first. On top of the normal worries, both my kids have severe food allergies and asthma.

No surprise that I'm also very picky about who my kids ride with. They must be properly restrained! :)

We just had a play date here today. We are friendly with a family that has a set of B/G 8 yr. old twins. The kids always play very nicely together and I know and like their parents very much. We also take turns doing play dates with a few of our neighbors, but we've lived here 8 yrs. and have gotten to know the families.

My kids have grown to understand that I need to meet the parents first. In fact, I chuckled the other day when DD asked, "Mom, do you know S's mom?" LOL!

By Reds9298 on Friday, March 9, 2007 - 08:59 pm:

I will be weird then, too! Never just going to another friend's house without some serious checking. I would rather have them at my house. My parents were always protective like that, too.


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