Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive May 2006:
Little dd's caseworker called me and asked me to do an observation staffing. An O/S is when we go to the agency and go into a room in front of a group of supervisors and they watch to see how we interact with the child and how much of a bond there is. They want me to bring little dd alone. I am soooo scared. I'm afraid I'll have performance anxiety and do something stupid, or maybe they just won't like me. Truly, I am in tears here, Do I bring toys? Books? Food? Their job is to judge you. It's on June 5. How can I act natural when I'm being watched.
On the other hand, this is a good thing. Things are progressing with the case. We may have a chance to adopt her.
((((HUGS)))) Just be mommy like you do everyday.Pack everything like you would as if you were going anywhere else.Toys,Books,Snacks and extra clothes.Of course you're going to be nervous but thats normal and there going to know that.I'm really happy for you.This is a good thing.This is a REALLY good thing.(((HUGS)))
Take a deep breath!! ((((Sandy)))) Honestly, I'm sure they expect you to be a bit nervous, they probably would worry if you weren't. I agree with Sherri, pack like you would for a normal afternoon, bring some stuff to entertain your DD, a snack, extra clothes, etc.
Pretend you are in a waiting room in a doctor's office. Pack your diaper bag with things that you may need, things to keep dd occupied, and maybe a few extras, but don't go overboard. A couple of good storybooks, a couple of favorite toys, a small bowl of snacks for an emergency, an extra outfit.
Pretend the others there are just others in the waiting room. We always want others to think we are terrific mothers when we are out. The rest will come natural. You already know you have a bond with your dd. You can't fake that. So don't try to. You won't need to. Just be natural. Sure, you'll be nervous. They'll expect you to be nervous. If you weren't, then it would mean you didn't care enough to be nervous, and that would be a red flag to them. They are experienced with this and know exactly what to expect. You'll be fine. Just go be mommy and don't worry about anything else.
You'll be in my thoughts and my prayers. Go get 'em!!!
I worked in foster care and I honestly never heard of this. Maybe the state agency did it. We were a small private agency. I guess we did this in other ways. Like meeting with them in there home or at a park ect... I know that you will do fine. She has been with you this long, and is comfortable with you. Good luck!
Ditto Sherri & Adena! And good luck!
Thanks for the support & prayers ladies. It's much appreciated.!!!