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How would you react to this scenario?

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2006: How would you react to this scenario?
By Anonymous on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 06:01 pm:

You ask your dh too delete something off computer that caused some major issues in your marraige. Then a yr later, you, the apparently dingy wife, are looking thru files for some pictures you took and you find out that your dh did delete the pics from the file you could see and then backed a couple up. So, he really never deleted all of them. Does that make sense?

Good grief... it's so stupid. PArt of me thinks just let it go its not worth it. The other part of me thinks- could I have married a bigger control freak?? lol It wont do me any good to mention it.

Like sands through the hour glass...

By Crystal915 on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 06:50 pm:

It's a respect thing... he is being disrespectful of your feelings by just hiding the pics rather than deleting them. The disrespect is a much bigger issue than whatever pics you objected to. ((((Anon))))

By Cocoabutter on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 07:00 pm:

Without knowing what kind of pics they were, it's hard for me to say, but I assume that they were pics of another woman? Or of p0rn? And I am not quite sure if I would call him a control freak based solely on this, but you know him better then we do.

I would have a frank talk with him. I have been thru this type of thing. Don't do the whiny thing, or the nagging wife routine. Just be calm and tell him how this makes you feel.

If he tries to tell you that you are insecure and over-sensitive, then I would say he may have a character issue.

But if he cares about not doing anything to upset the woman he loves, then he will do the right thing.

So how is your marriage in general?

By Mrsheidi on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 07:12 pm:

All I can say is...what an idiot. (Not in general, but just in this case.) As if you wouldn't see them again? Delete the back up pics yourself and move on. Or...ha ha ha...replace them with pics of your kids looking so innocent and keep the same title, so if he goes and tries to see the backups, he'll feel quite the guilt. Maybe he'll get the picture then?

By Reds9298 on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 07:21 pm:

I love Heidi's idea!:)

I agree with Crystal completely. I just can't imagine my DH being so disrespectful of my feelings. As far as I'm concerned, it says a lot about his feelings for you. Sorry if that's harsh, but that's just my opinion.

And if it bothers you (and I think it should) then "its worth it".

{{{hugs}}} Doubting your spouse should NOT be an issue.

By Tripletmom on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 08:58 pm:

Ditto Crystal-Its all about respect and you're feelings.If you're uncomfortable or sensitive about it then he should respect it.(((HUGS)))

By Pamt on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 09:35 pm:

I *think* I know who you are and I am wondering if you both ever went for counseling. I think this is a big disrespect issue. I also think you are trying to make light of it and it probably really cuts to the quick. It certainly would with me. You can brush this under the rug. You guys really need to deal with the issues that are underlying him having these pictures in the first place and also him holding onto it. I don't think passive-aggressive behavior like deleting them and putting kid's pictures in their place (also I certainly would understand the urge to do this) is going to accomplish anything except ultimately exacerbate the problem and certainly not resolve anything.

So sorry (((ANON)))

By Pamt on Friday, April 28, 2006 - 09:36 pm:

That should be you CAN'T brush this under the rug.

By Sandysmom on Saturday, April 29, 2006 - 08:05 am:

I would be upset with my DH if he did that. I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm not you and I can still feel the blood rushing to my face while reading your post. ((((HUGS))))

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