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Would anyone help your child?

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2006: Would anyone help your child?
By Melanie on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 08:44 am:

This is a frightening video...

By Brandy on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 09:25 am:

omgosh that is scary = ( ...i'm glad though that someone finally helped...

By Sandysmom on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 09:37 am:

The website will not come up for me. Can you give me a summary?

By Melanie on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 09:44 am:

They set up a fake abduction in the city to see if people will help or walk by. A man walked up to a seven year old girl, grabbed her and said things like "Don't run off from me again". The little girl fights and yells "You're not my dad". People turned to look and kept walking. Finally, after doing the test a number of times, a couple of young guys jumped in to try to help. It was frightening to see how many people didn't get involved and how many times they tried the test before getting anyone to respond.

By Tayjar on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 09:53 am:

Man, what is with people these days? We are such a self-centered nation. It's just disgusts me. I would help a screaming child in a heartbeat. Or, at the very least, call 911. When it comes to children's safety, there is no room for cowardness or apathy.

By Sandysmom on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 10:03 am:

Wow, that is something. You would think at least someone would call the police on their cellphone.

By Emily7 on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 11:20 am:

It brought tears to my eyes to think that people wouldn't stop to help.
When I am in Walmart & they call over the intercom about a missing child I stop & look for that child, because that is just what you should do.
I hate that people are so self absorbed that they would do nothing...what if it were their child!

By Imamommyx4 on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 11:52 am:

I saw a thing on tv about a month ago sort of like this except it was involving domestic abuse in a public place. A man roughing up his wife or girlfriend in a park trying to make her go with him. It was amazing at the number of people who either looked and kept walking or turned their heads as soon as they saw what was going on. A few got on their cell phones. There was one brazen lady who walked up and got in the guy's face and called 911 and would not leave the abused lady until reporters came up and told her what was actually happening.

By Vicki on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 12:30 pm:

Imamommy, that was the same show. You might have missed the beginning of it. They also had kids bulling another child. I was amazed both, by allot of the people that did nothing AND by the people that stepped in and what exactly they did.

By Enchens on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 12:49 pm:


I was tearing up both when no one would help and when the guys finally stepped in. Oh, my goodness. It was a definite wake up call for me, personally.


By Crystal915 on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 01:38 pm:

This is a difficult situation. There ARE kids who will throw a tantrum and say things like that, for attention, even with their parents. It's a scary situation... I would at least step in, or call the police, just in case, but in this day and age you have to be afraid of being sued. :(

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 02:30 pm:

If you have a missing child at Walmart, they lock the doors and everything. I speak from experience. We stopped at the service desk and Emily must have kept on walking. They found her just a few aisles down, from where we were! I was amazed at how fast the store went on alert, once they realized we had a missing child. She was found very quickly.

By Tayjar on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 03:22 pm:

I agree Crystal that people are afraid of being sued. That's why I encourage everyone to have an Umbrella Policy. Ask your insurance agent about them.

We carry a $1 million dollar policy to cover our butts in case someone sues us. It covers just about everything - someone hurt on your property, your boat, your RV, car accident, situations like this, etc. It costs very little a year - ours is less than $100 but the peace of mind is worth more than that. I'm not an agent and I'm not familiar with all companies policies and clauses but I think an umbrella policy is as critical as car insurance these days.

By Emily7 on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 04:02 pm:

I personally would not want to be the person to say, "Well Mrs. Smith I could have helped your daughter from being kidnapped, but I was to afraid of being sued. Sorry that she was taken, tortured & killed...maybe next time I will step in & help." Personally I would sue the person that did nothing!
What good is it to teach your child to scream your not my mommy (or daddy), to yell for help if it is going to fall on deaf ears. What ever happened to just trying to be a good Samaritan!

By Crystal915 on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 04:13 pm:

Even good samaritans are at risk now. It's the sad reality of our nation.

By Christylee on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 04:34 pm:

I was in tears over this, it just sickens me. I'm one that calls the police when I see kids without seat belts on and just the other day called on a woman who left 4 kids in the car to go into the $1 store!!!

They can sue me, or try to if they want. They won't get much that's for sure. I couldn't live with myself if at the very least I didn't call 911 and keep them in my sight.

By Annie2 on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 10:02 pm:

In these scenerios, I don't think people are afraid of being sued, I think they are more concerned that the aggressor will do them bodily harm; punch then, pull out a knife or a gun.

If my child ever screamed out "your not my mom" to me during a public tantrum, they would be in big trouble!

By Emily7 on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 10:40 pm:

You don't have to confront to call the police & follow at a distance.

By Luvn29 on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 08:16 am:

You know, I think that if you took the time to really look at the situation, you could see the sheer terror on the face of a child in a real situation, and hopefully more people would be more apt to help. HOPEFULLY. I didn't see the show. Were these children good actors? Or could you tell it was a set up or that these children weren't really afraid? Maybe that factored into the situation.

Needless to say, I would always step in. I am not one for confrontations. My sister and I were talking about this because of a situation with my son that I need to speak to the principal about. She said she guesses it's a good thing she doesn't have children since she could never do some of the things I have to do. I told her that I never could do some of the things I have to before I first laid eyes on my first child. Then things just changed. I'll do anything to stand up for my children now. Any child. But beyond that, I still have conflicts and confrontations. But just don't mess with a helpless child!!! More people need to be that way, and this world would be a much better place for all of these poor defenseless children.

When I worked as the Homeless Coordinator at my children's school, I saw so much, and I had to make the choice to step in. One child is now removed from his home because of my calls, last year's teacher's calls, and this year's teacher's calls. Added up, they equaled too much. It broke my heart and I cried when he was taken out of the home, but it really was for the best. He was in third grade and telling me all about how his older sibling was teaching him how to huff gas when he was mowing the grass the day before. And we saw him out in town at all hours of the night by himself. Things such as that.

Well, I'm rambling off subject. Point is, sometimes you have to take the chance on consequences. I'll take my chance anyday of being reprimanded or sued if it means saving one child from being kidnapped, raped, tortured, or killed. Or even taken home after being neglected to a home of abuse even worse or more neglect. I'm a big girl. I can take any retribution much better than an innocent child can.

By Crystal915 on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 09:08 am:

here's the thing. while she didn't scream that we weren't her parents, M had a tantrum at the par one time, held her breath, and went stiff, peed her pants, etc. DH is and EMT, so he knew how to handle it, laid her down, and gave her a quick sturnum rub, and she started breathing again. The people who witnessed it were giving us dirty looks like we were abusing our child, whne in reality we were protecting her from hurting herself. Things like that happen, and no matter how mad someone was baout it, they didn't dare say anything. I think Annie is correct, the fear of being harmed in the process is a big factor.

By Tripletmom on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 09:29 am:

How can anyone second guess themselves to help a helpless child.We are all mothers,not to just our own children but to all chilren.

By Melanie on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 12:21 pm:

What caught my attention about the video was how many people just gave a quick glance and kept walking. The men who did something about it didn't jump to action right away. They stopped, watched, noticed that the interaction didn't look right (the man kept pulling at the child, he didn't interact with her like he was a parent) and then acted. Afterwards we also learned that an old lady was off camera at the same time calling 911. Some people may not have acted out of fear for their own safety, but that doesn't give them a license to do nothing. It sickens me to think something bad could happen to one of my kids in a crowded place without anyone bothering to try to help.

By Karen~moderator on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 12:56 pm:

I couldn't bring myself to watch this until now. I agree with Melanie, it was amazing how many people looked, and kept walking.

I actually found a lost child in the mall several years ago. Maybe 2 years old, standing there crying/screaming, obviously panicking and terrified. So I picked her up to go to mall security, because no one was doing anything at all, and even though the thought did cross my mind that someone might think *I* was just taking her, I was more terrified that someone would abduct her. And she didn't like *me* picking her up, she was pushing against me when I was carrying her, like she knew I wasn't suppose to be holding her. And just as I was walking up to mall security, a woman came running up to report her child missing and the little girl reached out for her. Obviously they asked the woman questions, etc. to be sure the child was hers, but I didn't give a second thought to taking the child to security. It upset me so much to see her standing in the middle of a huge crowd, crying, obviously lost. On the other hand, it's possible that people could have thought that *I* was trying to steal this child, even possible her mother may have thought that for a split second, had it not been for the fact that I was heading straight for security.

I agree that people are very paranoid about lawsuits, but I think that's a chance I'll take if I ever see a *lost* child again. Because I know that *I* have good intentions, and I always feel like if I don't do anything, then the wrong person could come along and then you end up with an abduction.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 03:03 pm:

I saw an unattended child at the library once and took her to one of the librarians. When her mom finally showed up, she wasn't the least bit concerned. Yikes. The child was only about 2.

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