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How should I word this?(Dog related)

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive April 2006: How should I word this?(Dog related)
By Jackie on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 06:58 am:

I have a foster dog here who is a beagle mix. She has been with us since January. As you can imagine Im very attached to her. But, moneywise, 2 dogs is enough. Anyways, I would love for her to go a home like mine, where there is somebody with her, and that she gets lots of attention. Obviously, Shelby doesnt get much interest. For some reason beagles and hounds are a dime a dozen in this area.
Carin(The adoption coordinator for the rescue group)called me yesterday. She said there is a family who would like to come by and visit with Shelby. This is a family who had come to several adoption shows, looked at several dogs, then ended up adotping a dog from animal control. That dog bite somebody in the family and they retruned it. So now they are back to looking at our rescue group. Ok, this family is very nice, the dad is in the Navy , the mother is a a teacher. She leaves the house every morning at 7am(they also have 2 or 3 kids). Carin leaves me a message to call these people and see if we can arrange a meeting. I call them, leave them a message. Then I call Carin back and told Carin I have some reservations about this family. So last night Carin calls me back, and I tell her I dont think its fair for Shelby to go from a house where somebody is home most of the day with her, plus having dogs around her all day as well, to a house where she would be left alone for 8-9 hours a day.I honestly didnt think I had that much say in the situation. Carin said that we (the rescue group) is all about finding the perfect home for the dogs. That if I felt that wouldnt be a good situation for Shelby, then so be it. If the family calls me back, I can tell them that me and Carin discussed it and we dont feel that would be the best place for Shelby.
Ok, my question is how do I word it so it doesnt sound like they are bad people we just dont want to give a dog too?
See some foster families, the people do work. So some dogs are use to be left alone for many hours. In my heart, I would hate for Shelby to go to such an extreme, from being with people and dogs all day long, to being left alone up to 9 hours a day.
I am glad Carin agreed with me, and understood my point of view on this.
Anybody good at rephrasing this so I dont come off as the bad person LOL

By Vicki on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 07:25 am:

I guess I don't see it the same way that you do. Weren't you yourself turned away from a dog that you wanted? I could be mistaken and it wasn't you, but I really remember someone here wanting a dog and being told no.

This dog could get more love in the few hours that these people are home than with some that might be home all day. I really think that I would be more concerned with the type of people they are rather than the hours they either work or don't work. Now, if the dog has health problems or something that requires someone to be there, that is a completely different story. But I don't see how you can turn someone away that might be the most loving dog friendly person in the world just because they work!! If I was in your clients position, I don't think you could say it to me in any words and have me not be offended. Unless, like I said, there were health issues or something to that effect. And if the mother is a teacher, won't she be home for a few months here soon? That would more than give the dog time to adjust before she goes back to work. I am sure with 2 or 3 kids they will be doing some running this summer and the dog will get used to being alone for little stretches before she goes back to school.

I do realize that your mind is made up and I really am not trying to change it, just perhaps wondering if you ever looked at it from their side. If this dog is going to be so hard to adopt out and you don't want to adopt her, why not let a family that might WANT her have her??

By Jackie on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 07:51 am:

Yes, I know unless you are in my situation it is hard to understand where I am coming from. We love Shelby, that is not the issue. Im not going to debate this issue. I just dont feel its right to leave a dog home alone for 9 hours a day, when she is use to being with people or other dogs 24/7. Yes man dogs have owners who work, thats more common then not.

By Luvn29 on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 08:01 am:

Well, I'm also thinking that if she has three kids, she probably does a lot of running for these three kids after school hours, too....

By Conni on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 08:08 am:

Jackie, I certainly understand where you are coming from. You have a huge heart and you truely do love these dogs.

I can tell you that I am home with my 3 dogs full time for the most part everyday. Many days they ride with me on errands. Blake is home after 11:30am and with the dogs as well. HOWEVER, at some point when B is in school full day I will probably be back in school or working full day too... And my dogs will be alone. No way around it. They will have to adjust and thats really all there is to it in my mind.

I guess thats how I see it. :( I am not sure how you should word it! I am terrible at stuff like that.

By Jackie on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 08:15 am:

Connie, the difference is your dogs are established in your family. If you have 3 dogs, they have each other for company. I know a lot of working families who get 2 dogs just for that reason.

By Vicki on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 08:20 am:

I didn't want to get into a debate about it either Jackie and I don't doubt for one minute that you do really love your dogs and want the best thing for them. But if this dog is going to be hard to adopt out because they are a dime a dozen, maybe this would be a great house for her! I understand that in a perfect world someone would be home with her 24/7. I just don't think it is fair to write off people because they work! I am sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to.

By Kaye on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 08:45 am:

I agree with Vicki, to me it would be like saying, you can't have kids because you are going to put them in day care. There just isn't a way to word that well :)

Just a thought, could you express concerns to the person interested in the dog about, this dog being used to playing with three other dogs all day and you are concerned about it being alone for most of the day and how it will adapt? Maybe she has thought through that, maybe she will have doggie day care, maybe she is willing to wait until summer to get the dog, or just get it on weekends to try it out.

Just like with kids no two homes are going to be alike. I love my stay at home life, picking my kids up from school, making breakfast, etc and can't imagine them not having each other to play with. Would my kids be in shock if they went to live with someone else, they did day care and were an only, yep, but just for a bit. I know this because my dad took one of them for the summer last year and she is ready to move back..LOL. My point is, unless you want to keep that dog forever, you might want to step back a little and see if another option is possible.

By Karefl on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 09:49 am:

I think that I'd be questioning the circumstances behind the biting situation that led to returning the other pup to the shelter also. I've never had a foster, but know from looking a rescues around here that they can be very particular! You have to make a good match for the dog & family's sake. You don't want her right back in the rescue b/c it wasn't a good fit. Just tell them the truth, you don't think that she'll adapt well to the many hours alone. You may also want to say that she needs to be in a home with other dogs. If they don't understand, then so be it, but you will have done your job! As a foster it's your responsibilty to know this pup & what she needs, so that she gets a home that she will have forever.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 10:15 am:

Jackie, if it were me I'd go with my gut feelings, and just tell this family that this dog needs a home where an adult is home most of the time, that the dog would not do well being left alone for several hours at a time. You might mention that beagles are actually very strong for their size, and could easily rip up a couple of pillows or upholstery if too bored and frustrated - not that the dog would do this, but it could.

I know my niece got a pair of Jack Russels after her old dog died (I cannot understand this - one Jack Russell is plenty - two is absurd). Anyhow, she and her husband both work, and she would up having to put duct tape on the stair bannister railings and a whole lot of other places to keep the Jack Russels from chewing on them. My son and dil have a Weimeraner who must be put in the basement when they are at work because she will chew everything in sight. These are dogs that do not do well with being left alone a lot, and with less understanding owners they'd be turned back also.

By Jackie on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 10:40 am:

Ginny, I agree with the Jack Russel comments. I hear they are handfuls. The people next to us use to have 2 of them. Those 2 dogs were forever jumping the fence and taking off. I brought the dogs back to their home a couple of times. The people ended up getting rid of them in January.
I am going to follow my gut feeling. So far the family hasnt called me, but I want to be prepared if they do.I know many people do not agree with my decision, but Ive been with this dog since beginning of January and Im following my heart.

By Melanie on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 12:36 pm:

I don't see anything wrong with saying this dog likes constant companionship and would do best in a family where someone is home. We did an allergy test with my dh with a Bichon pup who was just the sweetest little thing (didn't work-dh reacted immediately). The breeder told me when we started discussing the possibility of us taking him that he needs to be in a home where he won't be left for long stretches because he craves the interaction. I didn't take that as an odd thing to say at all-he was informing me of the dog's personality, that's all.

You know this dog and what kind of home would be the best match for him. Just say it.

My sister volunteers at a humane society, and they write right on the cages if a dog would be best suited for a family, couple without kids, with or without other pets, etc. You would be doing a disservice by not saying what you know about the dog.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 02:49 pm:

My dog is lucky, that the most she is ever alone, usually, is just a few hours. Only rarely, do we go to Milwaukee, or something, and are gone all day. She is good while we are gone, though. Maybe she'll get into the garbage, but she doesn't chew anything.

By Conni on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 03:14 pm:

Hmmm very good points. I hadnt thought about dogs having each other before I posted. duh! I understand better after reading more of your thoughts.

Jackie, good luck with this family! I think Melanie is right on with her comments!

By Jackie on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 03:25 pm:

How ironic. Today Carin calls again, she asks me if that family ever called me. I tell her no. She then tells me there is another family who might be interested in Shelby. She tells me the lady is a stay at home mom and they have a 5 yr old little boy. They really had their minds set on this other dog named "Jake". They actually came to an adoption show and stayed with him for an hour. They did the home check, and then the foster family decided to keep him. That is very common from what I hear. So then Carin recommended Shelby. I talked to this prospective family on the phone today. She said they will probably come over and visit Shelby on the weekend. She sounds really nice and I think it would be a great family for Shelby, a stay at home mom, and a little boy. So we will see how it goes. This situation makes me much more comfortable.

By Debbie on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 03:30 pm:

I hope you find Shelby a great home. I don't see anything wrong with telling someone that the dog would be better off with a family that someone was at home during the day. Different dogs have different needs and your priority is to find a family that this dog will be happy with. I hope that things work out with this new family.

By Melanie on Tuesday, April 18, 2006 - 07:18 pm:

Keep us posted. I hope this is a good match for Shelby! :)

By Jackie on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 11:30 am:

Well things keep changing. The 2nd family, is a no go as well. The lady just called me and told me they decided to adoptanother dog in our group. She said they went over there last night, and their little boy just fell in love with this other dog. I told her that I was happy they found that perfect dog for their family. This other dog is a black lab mix witha big old head. He is friendly and active etc...I thought it was nice of her to call and let me know.

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