What do you do when this happens
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: What do you do when this happens
What do you do when you and your spouse disagree on so many BIG, IMPORTANT issues?? We have been married for over 10 years. There are things I "thought" I could ignore, or be ok with. As the years pass there are so many important issues, we just do not agree on. The issues I am talking about have to do with money(I know a big issue for most people),disciplining the children, and even retirement?
How do you live and survive when the big things in life, you can not get on a common ground?
One of the things you do is get into marriage counseling, to have someone help each of you understand not only that you differ on important things, by why those things are important to each of you. I suggest you and dh have talked yourselves blue in the face, and need a neutral "referee" to help each of you "listen" to and actually hear each other.
We have that problem with things. Our big one is that he is still smoking. Would have been fine, but he had promised when we had kids and I quit that he was going to. Well then it was a few years of lying, quiting, starting back up and more lying...at one point he was using money we needed for bills to pay, or getting it from his mom.
We try to work through, I think it is important to have give and take. I love him and I hate that he smokes, but I don't want our marriage to fail over it.
Ginny is right about getting into counseling, I know I would love for us to go, but he won't.