I don't know what to do about my Mom, I don't even know where to start here to tell this story. About twelve years ago my mom started having health problems, she is diabetic, and then she started having heart problems, she then became legally blind, she could still see enough to get around but could no longer drive. Three years ago my Dad died, my family and I live out of state, but my sister still lives next door, she helps as much as she can but is now divorced, she has two boys and now she is with another man and is pregnant by him. When I grew up we always had dogs, my mom bred german shepperds, and dobermans, when my dad was alive she still had the shepperds, and a doberman and a few little dogs, now it is so much worse, she has a total of 42 dogs, my dad had a construction business when he passed away, she turned his large garage into a large kennel where she keeps some of the big dogs, they other big dogs live in cages in the attached garage beside the house, inside the house she has several little dogs, chihuahuas, rat terriers, and a doberman. A total of eleven dogs inside, most of the time she is able to let the large dogs out into the fenced in yard in shifts to get exercise, the little dogs never get to go out because she can't get them out the door without them being frightened to death so she has small throw rugs that she lets the dogs go do their business on and she repeatedly washes them. Of course the small dogs go everywhere else on the floor too. This summer two of her older dogs died, I was secretly relieved that at least two were gone, next thing I know I am talking to her on the phone and she is getting two more puppies, as if that weren't enough she got four more over the course of the summer that she didn't tell me about. I have talked to her repeatedly that she doesn't need all of these dogs, she tells me that they are all she has, it is so out of control, the house that she lives in now was a doublewide that my Dad had set up for the two of them so that she wouldn't have to climb stairs and that it was all on one level and was supposed to be a place where the could be comfortable, it sat unoccupied until they were finally ready to move out of the old house which sits 100 yards away, it was a beautiful home, it is not that way now. I am so frustrated over all of this, she is a bad diabetic and steps on things and doesn't know it, that is what happened a month ago, she got a bad infection in her foot and had to be hospitalized to rid her foot of the infection, the medicine that they gave her she was allergic to, it had her equilibrim off and they didn't know it, well they finally found out that was the problem and had her stop taking it, well her equilibrim is still off and today she fell, hit the back of her head and tailbone pretty good, so back to the hospital again, they didn't keep her but she called one of her friends that is single to come and stay with her for a few days. My sister is fed up, she lost her job a week ago, my mother wants her to remain home and collect welfare because it is not worth it for her to work. She wants her to be there to take care of the dogs, my sister has two children, 8 and 14 and she wants the 14 yr old to take care of the dogs for her every day that she needs him to, this is a huge undertaking, no one wants to do it, my mom is a very strong personality, no matter what you say to her she won't hear you, she says she "knows" that she needs to get rid of the dogs but who would want them, especially the old ones. The little ones are totally untrained I doubt if that behavior can be unlearned, I want her to get rid of the dogs sell everything and come live with me, she will ever do it willingly. I just don't know what to do. I've thought about making an anonymous call and tell them I am a fed ex employee that came to deliver a package and saw the conditions and wanted to let someone know,(she has fed ex deliver alot) I am deathly afraid of her finding out, she would never forgive me. I do not know what to do... It would create a hornets nest that I don't know if I could fix.

By Pamt on Tuesday, September 23, 2008 - 10:31 pm:

I think you need to call the Humane Society and report her. The dogs would be taken away because they are being neglected and those are dogs with dominant personalities that aren't being trained and could pose a hazard to others. It sounds like your mom is an animal collector. They are people who like to hoard, but they hoard animals instead of stuff. It is also not safe for your mom to be living in filth among animal waste. I can feel your pain and the awkward position you are in, but someone needs to act on behalf of your mom and those animals.

By Dana on Tuesday, September 23, 2008 - 10:45 pm:

If only I could say something that would help. Perhaps you could have someone else call for you. There is so much going on there besides just the dogs (health and your sisters situation), my heart just goes out to you.

I know this sounds silly, but it is my only reference point: on animal planet when they do the animal rescues, from time to time they go back to the home and the person who had too many animals says it was hard to let them go, but they are feeling so much happier now with just one or two pets. (Other times the person has collected more pets) But if you could have your mom move in with you after the pets are removed, she may be able to think straight and feel happier. I'm sure her state of health also plays a part in her way of seeing things.

Prayers sent for you.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, September 24, 2008 - 04:48 am:

I agree, you have to call the Humane Society. If you don't someone else will. I don't think you can, but if you can persuade your mom to agree to call the Humane Society herself (or SPCA or animal control) that would be better. What is happening in her house is possibly "animal cruelty" under most state's laws, and your mom might be risking charges of some kind if someone else reports her.

You're right - it is a hornet's nest. Your mom needs psychological help, but probably wouldn't accept it. And, of course, there are her physical problems.

I agree with your sister not wanting to live with her, and that would be an impossible situation for the children - that would also be cruelty and one of the various agencies charged with investigating child abuse would become involved. That would be an awful living situation for children.

There are no win-win solutions here, but something has to be done to get the dogs out of your mother's house before worse things happen - and they almost certainly will.

Just looking at things from a practical standpoint for the dogs, the old dogs are the real issue. Young dogs can be re-trained, socialized, and become adoptable. Old dogs, especially dogs with real physical problems, most often can't. But there are animal rescue people on this board who know a lot more than I do about that kind of problem.

And, looking at it from a practical standpoint about your mother, what would happen to the dogs if she injures herself again and has to spend several days in the hospital? That would only make things worse for her emotionally.

Thinking about it some more, the anonymous call might be the better way (there is no "best" way) to go. But be prepared to have a major hullabaloo and possibly some media involved unless there is more "exciting" news that day. This kind of thing often gets media attention. But calling anonymously would keep your name out of it and you might be able to help your mom with some sympathy. (And, if any animal cruelty charges are made, she might need a lawyer.)

By Dana on Wednesday, September 24, 2008 - 05:35 am:

Could you report it and explain the details and request they please make sure the media doesn't get a hold of this? With her health issues that would just be fuel to the fire. I didn't even think of the media. But you are so right. We see these things on air all time.

By Anonymous on Wednesday, September 24, 2008 - 07:43 am:

I forgot to mention that as far as medical care and feeding go they get it all. She actually has a vet that goes to the house to give shots and medical care. A dog food sales person actually delivers the food to her door and dumps it in large barrels in which she stores it in. She spends upwards of 400 a week on food for them. These people apparently would rather get her business than see her in a better situation. I didn't think about the media either, she lives in a small town in Pa, there is not much excitement there other than a new bypass road being put through or a new restaurant or walmart being put up. I also forgot to mention that a UPS guy several years ago before my dad passed away reported her and at that time she had other small dogs like dachshunds, and boston terriers, she placed the dachshunds with my cousin and my aunt took the boston terriers, those were the ones kept in the house, they allowed her to keep the shepperds that were outside, the property is considered a farm, years ago when I was little we had a cow or two and a few horses and chickens. I don't know if at that time it was in the papers or not. My sister lives in my parents old house where she and I lived when we were children, she says it is hard to go into mom's house because she can't stand the odors and also my mom is a chain smoker, the combination is too much. There are still tools and equipment left over from my dad's business, and several acres that he developed to be a subdivision, he put in roads, water lines and electric, sewer everything, it has been up for sale for two years and although they've had several lookers, no takers so far. The work that my dad did is probably no good anymore I'm afraid. I am sure that the weeds and everything else probably ruined it, but I don't know. There is just so much to deal with, I want to help her but I am afraid she will never forgive me if it is done, I don't know if it will be enough for me to tell these people I want to be anonymous and also please don't tell them that I am calling from out of state. Will they listen? I don't know, I just know it's a mess.

By Dana on Wednesday, September 24, 2008 - 10:20 am:

I think you know what needs to be done and just don't want to hurt your mother. I would feel exactly as you do.

I wonder if there is a church that would take this on as a mission? Have your mom keep a couple dogs only, and the church members can help her clean up the house? And then after the hard stuff is done and clean, the money your mom was spending on the food and meds could go towards a house keeper that you can trust. And maybe the church could have a couple volunteers visit your mother on a regular basis for companionship? You would really have to find the right church with the right heart to have them follow thru appropriately.

Does your family already have a church? How far away do you live? Are you able to research the local churches and their line on community outreach? Perhaps regular visitors would offset her need for so many animals.