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SOO angry at dr appt!!!!

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive June 2004: SOO angry at dr appt!!!!
By Ladypeacek on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 01:24 pm:

Now when i made this appt. they told me that i would get the ultrasound to find out how far along i was, this was necessary since i haven't had a period since August. Well i get there today and all it was, was a class for new mothers on what will happen to your body during pregnancy, i have had 2 already, geez, when i told her that she said but it wasn't at this base, so i asked if my body will do different things at this base that it didn't do back home, lol! SO i sat through the 2 hours of non useful info that i already knew and had experienced. All that to find out that there was no ultrasound to be done. I asked her when i would have it and she said when i was 10 to 12 weeks, so i asked if she ever bothered to look at my file at all, she said they assessed all of them before the class, well then how did she determine that i was less than 10 weeks? She did not know. So she said my ultrasound would be in 5 weeks like all the others, UMMM NO! I have had x ray exposure, pain killers prescribed and taken along with other meds, I WANT IT NOW! and if that isn't bad enough she had the audacity to tell me in these words "you know you really are a bit fat to be having a baby, you really should have lost this weight before you got pregnant"!!!!!!! oh my goodness, she had a death wish, i almost strangled her. She told me that i would have to go an a strict exercise routine with one of the pregnancy trainers. I think not! I am NOT in the military and refused to be treated as such. Not to mention if she had really read my file she would have noticed that i was on bed rest for more than half of both my pregnancies from preclampsia so physical training would probably be the wrong choice! Now i know that i am overweight, i don't need it pointed out but really that was totally inappropriate to word it so nasty and to a pregnant woman of all things, geez, aren't we weepy enough as it is without being called FAT! Then she goes on to tell me that i will have to have a cesarean since they don't vbac, well my second was vbac and i don't intend on having a cesarean if not needed so it looks like i will be sent to the british doctors. UGGHHHHHHHHH. i am so frustrated right now i could just scream!

By Insaneusmcwife on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 01:36 pm:

(((Kenna))) I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Aren't military hospitals great? I would find out who is in charge of that department and file a complaint. She had no right to tell you that you were FAT. That is such an ugly word and is not allowed in my house. If you don't get satisfaction from that person in charge find out who is in charge of the hospital and go from there. That is the beauty of the military, everyone has a boss. I would demand that a different person review my records, with your history someone needs to be following you closely.

By Amecmom on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 02:03 pm:

Oh my God! If this happened to me I'd be uncontrollable! Don't they know they have to do an US to date the preg since you haven't had a period in a while. Don't they have a clue that US to date the preg. is only accurate in the first few weeks! If the dates ar off, then so will all your other test results be off, as well!

Fat - how dare they!!!

Kenna, you're a better woman then I. I'd have blown my top!

Kristie at least has some helpful advice for you. I can just sympathise with your anger.

Are you limited to the docs on the base? I don't know how health insurance works w/ military.

I do know you need to get someone else to care for you during your pregnancy.
Good luck.

Ame -

BTW - I can really recomend a high protein / low fat/ mod carb diet. I'm 27 weeks - one month shy of completing month seven, and because of my diet (no real chance to exercise) I've gained only 13 pounds so far. I'd have gaied less if I hadn't cheated so much :).

By Marg on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 02:03 pm:

:( (((Kenna)))) Never had to deal with military hospitals.

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 02:05 pm:

Call the NCOIC and OIC of the clinic. That is unprofessional, and she needs to be reported. You are entitled to adequate healthcare, and you need to start complaining to EVERYONE who will listen. Tricare, the OICs of the clinic and department, your DH's command if need be. That is crazy!!!

By Ladypeacek on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 02:46 pm:

She told me she would not tolerate me gaining any more than 10 pounds during this pregnancy. I and have to admit i was not very christian like when i responded to her calling me fat. I did tell her where to stick it! I did ask to speak to someone else about my ultrasound so it will be July 1st, which i still a few more days but better than 5 weeks! I will probably be going off base to a british dr after my ultrasound since i am high risk and hopefully the bed side manners will be drastically better! Thanks eveyone for letting me vent!

By Brandy on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 02:56 pm:

oh my gosh i am ready to come there and kick her a** for you and i'm not the violent type lol but to tell someone they are too fat to have a baby kiss is right here witch and i don't mean on my rosy red lips lol = ) ...

By Emily7 on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 03:02 pm:

She is lucky you didn't slap her. I was told my being fat was the reason I couldn't get pregnant. I found a new doctor! I always thought you were allowed to gain 25-35 pounds. My skinny SIL gained 70!

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 03:43 pm:

You want to be careful of the British health system too. Unless you are private pay, you are in the National Health System, and that can have big drawbacks. Talk to other women who have had experience with it before taking that step - and yes, follow the advice of other military wives above about complaining to all and sundry on every level.

By Trina~moderator on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 04:07 pm:

OMG! I've heard nothing but bad things about military hospitals and medical care. {{{Kenna}}}

By Amecmom on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 04:29 pm:

10 pounds - even for a woman who is "overweight" is drastically low! What are they thinking? Do they expect you to have a low birthweight baby? Or to live on a very strict diet?

I have to echo Ginny. You are in a foreign country, with possibly very different ways of monitoring pregnancy. Even obese women in the United States are expected to gain a minimum of 15 pounds.


By Cat on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 04:41 pm:

Was this a military doctor or civilian contractor (local)? I would call the head of the hospital and complain like you wouldn't believe! I had to do this in Panama and after talking to three different people the head honcho called me personally. He'd delt with my dh on other matters and wanted to handle my case himself. He contacted all the people involved for some "private-butt-chewing" and then brought the incedences up at the next staffing meeting, so EVERYONE knew what was acceptable and what wasn't (he called me back after this was all done to ask if this was acceptable to me). What this woman did was totally unacceptable and unless you complain she'll do it to someone else. Yes, the military health care symptom get a bad rap, some rightfully deserved, but there are quacks and rude people everywhere--including the civilian world and overseas. Don't let her get away with this. Call and ask to speak to the head of the department and explain what happened and then ask for contact information for the head of the hospital. That way they will know you plan to go up the chain of command with this. If they don't want to give it to you, insist. I'm so sorry you went through this. I had a friend in Panama that was pregnant and her doc wrote "Obese" on her chart. It crushed her. She knew she was overweight, but didn't need that to confirm it. {{{{{Hugs}}}}}

By Cybermommyx4 on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 11:02 pm:

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I can understand how much that must have upset you to have to deal with such an ignorant b*t*h...I wonder how miserable her life must be, for her to have to treat someone like that! GRRRRRR....I guess you just have to remember that you know your body, and you HAVE done this before, so that makes YOU the expert and HER know;)
Definitely complain, and then maybe the next overweight mom-to-be won't have to deal with her.

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 11:30 pm:

Kenna, was this even a doctor? Or some non-doctor person who was hired to give this class.

BTW, I had to laugh at your comment "so i asked if my body will do different things at this base that it didn't do back home". It reminded me of my dear mother, when she was complaining to the surgeon about her right knee giving her problems. He said, well, Mrs. Poore, you have to remember that knee is 60 years old. Yes, she said, and so is the left knee.

By Ginny~moderator on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 11:32 pm:

Oh, and VBAC is, from everything I have read, the preferred way to give birth and there is a lot of medical furor (not to mention insurance company furor) in the U.S. about the increase in cesarian (sp?) deliveries.

This woman sounds so totally off base, I too am surprised you didn't just give her upside the head. I hope, very strongly, that you complain to everyone in sight about this. Just copy your post above (cleaning it up slightly) for a replay of what occurred. I can just see and hear the whole thing!

By Janet on Tuesday, June 22, 2004 - 03:38 pm:

"Won't tolerate over 10 pounds??" And if you do, then...what? Sheesh! I gained 40 with both of my big babies! I was wondering if this was a dr, too. Thank goodness I've never had to deal with military hospitals, either. I hope you can get the good care you deserve. {{HUGS}}

By Emily7 on Tuesday, June 22, 2004 - 04:08 pm:

I wanted a VBAC with my dd, but was told the hospital insurance would not cover it after Jan 1. So I was so happy when I went into labor before that date. Didn't help though, my little girl wasn't so little.

By Momaroze on Tuesday, June 22, 2004 - 05:05 pm:

One of the reasons for getting an ultra sound is to determine the age of the fetus if it is unclear when baby was concieved! The other, which is done at around 18 weeks, ideally, to determine the health of the fetus, position etc...

How unprofessional and not to mention rude that lady was! I would think again if I was her, and re-read your file. Is that legal? What if something potentially was wrong with the fetus? What if that problem could only be fixed at a certain gestational date. I don't know anything about millitary or your health care. In Canada, though, if you are unsure when you conceived they automatically will send you for an ultra sound. It is so important!

Geez, is right!!

By Hol on Tuesday, June 22, 2004 - 09:35 pm:

Don't even get ME started on military healthcare! My older kids and I had to put up with it for thirty years! I once mentioned to the base gynecologist that I had rectal bleeding during my period. I got escorted to the chief surgeon (who, BTW had been a bomber pilot in Vietnam). He insisted that I have a colonoscopy, which was a HORRIBLE experience done by HIM. I've had them since, and it was a piece of cake. When the colonoscopy came back ok, i reminded him that it was ONLY during my period. I told him that my second baby was very large, and came very fast. I asked him if maybe I had a tear between my rectum and vagina (sorry to be graphic), and maybe that was causing the bleeding. He said, "Well that depends. Do you FART through your vagina?" I was SO embarrassed, and he was the HEAD of surgery, and a full Navy commander!!
Then, I had to bring in occult blood stool cards every month to have them drop some kind of reagent on it. I was always very discreet and brought them in a small bag. I had a young Navy corpsman (male), say, "EEWWW!! I'm not touching THAT!!" Again, I wanted to crawl under the rug. I could write you a book about the humiliation and malpractice that my family and myself experienced in that thirty years. I was SO glad when DH retired and got a civilian job with good health insurance, so we could go to GOOD doctors.

Hang in there, Hon. I agree with the others. Be VERY vocal. Complain and complain again. I wish I had, but I was always afraid of them making it hard on DH, and jeopardizing his career.

BTW- Once I was able to go to a civilian gyno, I learned that the bleeding was just due to an internal hemmorhoid. Kind of a no-brainer that a surgeon should have known.

By Ladypeacek on Wednesday, June 23, 2004 - 12:50 am:

She was not the doctor, she was the nurse and she was military, uniform and all. I see the doctor on july 1 for my ultrasound. I will be going off base though to a british hospital. My dh posted yesterday at work to have any woman to please call me or email me if they had a baby off base at this hospital and i got responses that were all good. They said the bedside manners were wonderful and you are treated with much respect. The doctor, there is one doctor that specifically takes high risk military, her name is Rosy and they say she loves her job and is has a wonderful personality, so i am feeling better. I will have my ultrasound on base still but then referred to her so i can have a vbac. I had one with my ds and i was just fine so no c-section for me unless needed! Thanks everyone for your support. I really have been fuming the past 2 days to everyone!

By Rayanne on Wednesday, June 23, 2004 - 11:08 am:


That is awful!!! I would have slapped her. I can't believe that she said all those things. Being pregnant is supposed to be a wonderful time, and this B!*@H is making you Stressed!!! Just keep calm and ignore as much as possible!!!

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