Stressed! What would you do?
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive June 2004:
Stressed! What would you do?
As most of you know, we are currently renting a house. We really love it and would like to stay here for some time to come.
Here's the problem. 2 days ago, our landlord and her husband show up with a huge trailer full of furniture etc. They started moving it into the basement. This was fine, because they have been using 1/2 of the basement to store their stuff in, and we've been using the other half. Well, DH goes out to talk to one of the young guys that was helping move stuff, and the guy said that "Y" and "Z" are getting a divorce. And that "Y" (our landlord) is moving in with her mom for now, and then is planning to move to southern Utah in a month or so.
When we first moved in here, our biggest fear was that "Y" wouldn't stay married, and that she would want to move back into her house. "Y" has been married 5 or 6 times. This marriage has only been going on for about 18 months. "Y" is very "strange" (as my DH puts it!) and is very wishy-washy. DH and I are stressing that she's going to show up within the next few months and say "guess what? I'm moving back in...you have 30 days to get out"
So, our current question that we've been bouncing around is....do we just stay put and hope for the best? Or, do we find somewhere else and move and get settled in something that we feel is more secure.
IMO, if we move, we should move during the summer before the kids get back in school and dance. I don't want to disrupt their school work. But, then I worry that we may not even have to move out and we would just be moving for no reason.
There is a newer home available for rent just down the street. It is the same square footage, but we would lose the family room. Part of me says we need to jump on that while it's available. If "Y" comes back in a couple months to boot us out, we might not find anything available and we'd end up in an apartment.
I've just been sick to my stomach since I heard that "Y" was moving in with her mom. I just know that she'll eventually want to move back in here. She is a different type of lady. Very insecure. She needs to be close to her mom and dad. (they live about a mile from here) I don't think she'll last 6 months in southern Utah.
Well, sorry to ramble on and on. I'm just stressing this. It was good to get it out!
I would love to hear opinions on what you would do if you were in our situation!
I would move now, unless you can get her to sign a new lease with you. It can be hard to find new rentals that are in good condition.
I would move while the house up the street is available. I have had to move when a house we loved was sold out from under us and it was so hard to pull my dd out of her school and have all the disruption and stress and try to cope with lessons and homework, etc. This really stinks for you! I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with all this. It's terrible when someone else's personal life has such an effect on yours.
Do you have a signed lease? When does it expire? She can't just boot you out. She can opt to not renew the lease, and then you would have to move.
I think that you should talk to her. Ask her if she will be needing the house soon. You have a right to be concerned about your living arrangement. If she is planning on moving then she will have to let you know where to send money anyways and ask her how long she plans on letting you stay in the house, it is a legitimate question.
I was in the same situation. Rob and Sue got married and Rob moved out of his condo to live in Sue's house. Sue, too has been married a few times and they never lasted. She is a very self-sufficient woman. Sue is somewhat of a family friend and she asked if I wanted to rent Rob's place. We did and 9 months later she called and said, we're divorcing and Rob wants his place back. She wanted him out of her house as quick as possible and offered us $300 to be out at the end of the month. We had to rent an apartment. Now we rent from a single guy who's in the reserves and we feel secure. I would explore my options if I were you. Since you have some time to look, find a place that's just right, don't settle.
We don't have a lease. Leases are basically non-existant in our area. It's just a month to month thing. Our contract even says that either they, or we can terminate our agreement with 30 days notice.
She is just so unpredictable. She has a reputation for being "different". Nothing she does surprises anyone. Just like if she came knocking on our door in a few months saying she needed to move back in.....we wouldn't be surprised at all. It's just the way she is.
This is why I find myself leaning towards moving now. The house up the street is nice and would be just fine for us to live in until we decide to buy/build a permanent home. I'm afraid that if we wait for 3-6 months and then get booted out of here, that the house won't be available and we'll end up having to move somewhere that our kids will have to switch schools. I DON'T want them to have to do that. I already feel horrible enough for making them move again. We've only lived here for 16 months. I don't want to be "the family that moves around all the time". I want them to feel secure.
Given that you don't have a legal way of preventing her from evicting you, I would probably look for alternate housing.
Absolutely move. A door closes, but a window opens - the house down the road is your open window. Get out of this situation while you can, with minimum impact on the family.
Move as much as you can yourself and then just get a truck for the furniture.
If it was us, and if I liked the house, I would be asking if she would sell it. ( if you liked the house of course) or, for a long term lease, tell her your fears, and if she says that moving back into the house is not her intention, then get it in writing. I am not into moving for me it is way to much work.
Well, we just got back from looking at the other house. It is really nice. (no blue carpet!! LOL) DH really liked it as well. He is hesitant about moving. He said I am in a panic about it. I'm really not. Just mostly concerned about the kids. I would like to be settled somewhere before they start school in the fall.
Mrse....the landlords here have previously offered to sell us the house. We just aren't sure that we want to buy it. It's not set up the way we would like, and we could custom build a house for about the same price. We just aren't ready to make that jump yet.
DH mentioned maybe talking to the landlords here and seeing if they would be willing to sign a 1 year lease agreement. I'm not sure that they would, but I guess that will help tell us what exactly their intentions are.
As for now, we are still up in the air. DH was a little frustrated with me when he went back to work. He thinks I'm trying to rush this too much. I just hate the unsettled feeling. He is the type to fly by the seat of his pants, and not deal with problems until they are about ready to knock him down. I like to deal with them when I see them coming......before they knock me down!!
No offense, but it does sound like you are panicky a little. You haven't been told anything concrete by your landlord and only specualtion from the friend. If it were me, I would contact the landlord and find out what her plans our. If you want some flexibilty, ask for a lease. If you don't want to hassle with the landlord, move.
But, I wouldn't do anything without talking to your landlord first. I also would have a signed lease the next time I rented.
Robin, I would feel the same way you do. I like to have things settled especially whe you are concerned about moving schools. I would ask for the lease but, if the owners won't commit, I would get into a new place. If the place down the street isn't available then I would start looking somewhere else. I have been in this situation and it is really hard to find a new place and move in 30 days with all the hassles that entails, especially since you have had some early warnings.
A little update:
DH went to "Z"'s work. "Z" said that they filed the papers the day they were at our house unloading the furniture. The young guy that DH talked to was "Z"'s oldest son, I guess.
"Z" doesn't think the "Y" will sign a lease, but he will talk to her about it. For now, "Z" is still going to handle the renting of the house. So, now we need to talk with "Y" directly and see what her plans are.
Tink....I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from. If it were just DH and I, it would be different. But with 3 kids...I want things to go as smoothly as possible. Knowing "Y" and the way she is.....that won't happen LOL.
Thanks to all of you for your input!