What do you think?
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive June 2004:
What do you think?
If you asked another couple to dinner (whom you know well) and they agreed to go out and then they turn around and call you back and say "we called so in so and invited them to go too" and we want to go at this time (changing the original time) is that considered rude to anyone of you? If so, how would you have reacted to it? Would you still go with everyone or would you just nicely back out and do something else for the night?
Yes, I feel that is rude.
Do you know the other couple?
I'm not sure what I would do.
If I didn't know the couple or time was not available, I'd back out graciously.
Yes, it is rude.
If I knew the other couple, I might go anyway. If I didn't know the other couple, or if I didn't necessarily want to share the evening with them, I would just tell couple *A* that we should reschedule for another evening.
We do know the other couple, but we didn't want to eat dinner with them. We told couple *A* that the original time we had planned was best for us so they should just go on and eat dinner with the other couple. We went to the same restaurant, but a little later and didn't sit near them. I could tell *couple A* felt a little uncomfortable. I was just wondering if it was rude because sometimes my dh tells me that I am over reacting and taking things the wrong way. That kind of stuff irritates me so much, especially when *couple A* has done some other things that blow me away. Thanks for your input.
Yes it is rude.
It was your invite and your chosen time. If the time wasn't suitable to them they should have explained why. If they changed the time because of the other couple that would have been very rude. IMO I don't think you were over reacting.
Yes, I feel that was rude too!
You invited first, and you agreed on a time,and they agreed with it.
If this other couple got involved, and couldnt make it at the original time.. they should of planned for a dift day..with the other couple.
BTW, it would have been considerate for this couple to at least ask you and your dh pre-hand, if it would be allright to invite them along too. They may have the attitude "the more the merrier" but it was your invite from the begining, not theirs, big difference.
Yes, it's rude. I can see if that other couple invited themselves and the 1st couple called you saying "I just didn't know what to say! I'm so sorry!" They really should have called you first to ask about inviting them.
Go and try to enjoy the evening. It could be one of those situations that your dread, but then have a great time!
It is very rude. Even ruder if they did not come up to you apologize & reschedual for time that would be more convient.
OK apparently, I'll be bucking the trend but, while it wasn't polite, I would have been flexible and gone unless it was truly disruptive to your plans. If I'd had to change babysitters or something...Otherwise, I would have gone and hoped that we'd had fun. If I wanted to go with just Couple A, I would make a remark the next time I invited them to dinner about just having the 4 of us go this time. JMO
personally I am not a large group person. I like to go see one friend at a time, meet one friend at where ever. However I have found I am not in the majority. Think to your playdates, hey lets meet at chuck e cheese, how many times have you had invitee A invite someone else. Or how many times have you invited invitee A and then invitee b? It happens, it is rude, but I guess acceptable these days. I do think the time thing should have been discussed, hey we can't do it at this time what about this time, which sounds like you turned down and they said well fine to you and did their own thing.
I am not actually sure if it was rude, but I don't know your relationship with either couple. We have called up friends and had the same thing happen..no big deal. Other times, I have said "hey, nothing against x but we were looking forward to spending time with you guys, what's a better date for the four of us to get together?"
I am curious why you did you go to the same restaraunt? You had to know that would be awkward. If I am off base, I apologize, but it seems like you were trying to make them feel awkward.
I think it was rude.
I'm with Tink - life is too short to let your feathers get ruffled over something like this. If you value this couple's friendship, just let it go - yes, it was rude of them, but you still want them as friends, right? So, we put up with some behavior from people we don't like - you're not going to change them.
It was rude of them not to ask you if it was okay with you first. But I would just go along with it, keep a good attitude and enjoy it. The more the merrier.
i am with tink and kay on this one also...they said just about what i would do, go and make the best of it.
Annie, I wasn't going to that specific restaurant to make them feel awkward, I am not that kind of person. This is a pizza place that we all love and go to at least once a week and it was my idea to eat there in the first place because I LOVE THE PIZZA! We couldn't go until 6:00 and that was our original plan when I had invited them and they wanted to go an hour earlier, hey I wasn't going to give up my pizza because of that. Besides, in my opinion, they should have felt awkward because what they did was tacky and they knew it.
Sorry I misunderstood that part. I hope you don't lose your friendship over this. I guess I am a "more the merrier" type of person, especially at a casual place that sounds like is everyone's favorite.
Well because I wasn't asking their friends to go out, I was asking them out.
Don't get me wrong here, I mean I enjoy group times but this just wasn't one of those times. I am still friends with them and we do things together, but I just wanted other opinions because it was bothering me that I was upset about it. I guess I just haven't experienced a situation like that before and it shocked me. I appreciate everyone's opinions and responses to my question, that is why I wrote to begin with.
It's tacky and rude and just plain not nice.
I've bailed on friends that have done this.