Children in a wedding, any suggestions?
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive June 2004:
Children in a wedding, any suggestions?
My son and daughter are going to be in a wedding in June and I was looking for suggestions to help make it as smooth as possible! My son is 6 and will be the ring bearer. My daughter is 4 and the flower girl. My son gets really nervous when the spot light is on him. Any advice?
My kids were in a wedding when they were about the same age.
Walk them down the aisle by yourselves a few times BEFORE the rehearsal. Explain what they will be doing and why.
Try to watch a wedding on TV or a video so they understand the big picture.
They will be fine and if they get scared, balk or refuse to do it, it's okay.
DS (4) was the ringbearer in DH's sisters wedding, the flower girl was 18 months. DS did awesome! We basically told him what he was to do (walk down the aisle holding the flower girl's hand and making sure she stayed with him. He walked slowly with her holding her hand and whenever she seemed to go off to one side DS pulled her gently and they kept walking. DS was so excited to be in the wedding.
As Annie2 said, have them walk down the aisle before rehearsal. We did, and it worked great.
Let the kids have fun.
DS is in DH's brother's wedding in November as the ringbearer, he's all excited.
Another thing, have your kids walk down a hallway in your house or across the room, just for practice. Also, have your son hold a pillow if he's going to have one in the wedding, to get used to holding something. Have your daughter carry a boquet or basket or something similar to what she'll have at the wedding, so she can practice.
Good luck and have fun.
My girls were in a wedding when they were 3 and 4. A week before the wedding my DD (4 at the time) broke her arm on her growth plate and had to have a cast from hand to shoulder in an "L" shape. It was lovely. LOL She got a pink cast. Pink was the color of the wedding.
I don't really have any tips. My kids love doing things like that. Just get them excited about it! Tell them how special they are to get to do that!
I had my cousins in my wedding. They were 1 and 3. They each stood on a little bag and at the end they got what was inside. It was money and a lollipop.
I just read your profile and other post about your DS. With your son's social issues, you may really want to rethink having him in the wedding unless he really wants to do it. I think it might be too nerve-racking for him.
ok i am dealing with this myself my son is 2.5 he is my ring bearer for the past month we have been practing walking down the isle - he is soo good at it ! took about a week of doing it to get him good at it .
my daughter did it for a friend (flower girl) when she was 4.5 no practice did it perfect !
I think he will handle this as well as you prepare him to handle it. Talk about it talk about it talk some more about it. Tell him what to expect. Practice walking. Tell him how much of an honor this is and that you know he will do such a good job. But talk talk talk. Tell him to focus on the front of the church and not all the people around him. (that helped me at my mom's wedding I just looked straight ahead and walked down I didn't even realize how many people were in the church until it was all over) He needs to just focus on something else. Like the Pastor. Something on the wall. The Groom/Bride. Someone he will find comfort and strength in looking at. And he needs to be warned about accidents happening and that they aren't the end of the world just keep moving forward. My sister stumbled but because she had had a pep talk about mistakes she smiled and giggled and finished her walk. I think it is really all about the prep. The more preped he is the better he will do and the more comfortable he will be. And what a confidence builder and an honor.
My dd was a flower girl when she was 3. I was so nervous about her not walking down the aisle. I played the video of my wedding for her to see, we played with the fisher-price little people and had them "walk down the aisle and get married", we practiced walking down the aisle at home, even had a basket with leaves or something for her to practice dropping on the floor.
My friend was nervous about her son behaving when he was in a wedding. She took him to the toy store and had him pick out a toy he really really wanted. She told him he could have the toy if he was a good boy....hey a little bribery never hurts!
I love the idea of using Fisher-Price Little People! I'll try that and maybe Barbie and G.I. Joe too! Thanks for all of the suggestions. I agree, with my son, preparing him his what is important. I'll let you all know how it turns out!
The wedding is over! Yesterday was the wedding and my son and daughter did an amazing job. Thank you for all the suggestions! I spent the last few days before the wedding talking about what the day would look like and exactly what they could expect. I also talked about our expectations of them. This really helped prepare my son. They both acted beautifully and had a great time. My son got up at 5:30 a.m. and still held it together all day! I think they did better than my husband and I did. We were exhausted! Thanks again for the ideas!
Congratulations to all - and thanks a whole lot for letting us know. (Isn't this a great place to get helpful ideas?)
Glad to hear things went well
I'm so happy this went well for you. What a great self-esteem and confidence boost for you and your son!
Kids can suprise you can't they. I am glad it went well