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Dr Phil - 19yo Sexual Predator

Moms View Message Board: The Kitchen Table (Debating Board): Dr Phil - 19yo Sexual Predator
By Elizabeth704 on Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 10:38 pm:

Did anyone see Dr Phil today???
I watched the late repeat show tonight about the 19yo Mikai. His parents believed he was a sexual predator. They had even accused him of molesting his 3 yo sister. After a polygraph, all was true.
While I was extremely upset that he had done this to his sister, I became OUTRAGED at his parents.
Both parents had been sexually molested as children. I felt the father was verbally abusive to him after the truth was revealed, saying he "was dead to him" and telling him several times that he is on his own now, he was tired of dealing with him. The younger brother said he hated him and did not care what happened to him. The mother sat there with a blank stare the entire show. Was she on medication????? She only seemed upset once, when her husband was angry. At one point, she did say that she loved him as much as the other children, but she never stopped her husband and other children from saying these AWFUL things. I was sooooo angry at her. This child, in my opinion, has had to have some influence of the sexual abuse of his parents. How else could all of this coincendently happen to one family?

I am trying not to judge how I would react, especially if my own daughter was a victim - but I could never imagine saying those things and allowing others to say those things to my child.

I am also totally shocked that Dr Phil allowed this. His only comment was this is the only reaction he could expect from the parents right now. WHAT?? How about this very sick child, who is obviously in the fight of his life. Dr Phil, on the other hand, was warm to this boy and offered his help. He told the boy he was not a monster, but sick. I am so worried that this kid will walk off the stage and commit suicide. He was given no hope from his family.

I don't think I have ever become so emotionally charged while watching a TV show!!!!
Do these parents not believe they have any role or responsibility in this outcome??!!!!!

I looked on the Dr Phil website - I was suprised that most comments were similar to mine - where were the parents during his life and how could he have such a predisposition to this behavior?????

By Tink on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 12:10 am:

I think that the fact that they'd had him taken to so many counselors, therapists, and doctors and he'd lied to them about this over and over and over had a huge effect on how they reacted. They just found out that he had molested their helpless two year old daughter! I'd say more than a few hateful things if I found that out. They also found out that there was a chance that the abuse that he had claimed he was a victim of may have never happened. If I had been the victim of sexual abuse, been told that my son was also a victim of this, and found out that he had possibly used that against them and been the perpetrator of abuse against my toddler, I would be more furious than I think either of the parents acted. I'm glad that Dr. Phil is going to try and help this young man before he causes any more trouble!

By Feona on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 06:13 am:

Usually the an person that does this ..... has had the same thing happen to him. I wonder who did it to him? His mother? His father? The cycle continues?

I wonder if his father sexually abused him. You ever hear the term.... "Calling the kettle black" or "Tho protest too much"

Actually a 19 year old if he did it while over a certain age should be arrested. I guess the age is 18?

Dr. Phil never should have had this on tv.

What good did he do anyone?

By Kaye on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 09:59 am:

I watched the first day, but not the second. First I do not believe that is his real dad, but his step dad. This boy sat there for the 1 hour show and said he did not touch the baby, all of these things were untrue. His only bad thing he did was internet ••••. He agreed to take a lie detector test to prove himself right. As parents even though you suspect it, you want to believe that you are wrong, then when he blatently says he was falsely accused and wants a lie detector your heart must think, he really is okay. So to find out differently it must be like your heart was ripped out and stomped on. I can understand the anger.

So what was the purpose of this show? Well my thoughts are, as parents we need to realize that the threat is real, and can be anyone. If you get that feeling, you need to trust your instincts. Unfortuantly there are lots of sick people in this world and want to forget that. There are also people who were abused who ignore the signs because they think they are being overreactive.

I wished I had seen the follow up, the first one was done very well.

By Elizabeth704 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 10:45 am:

I did not see the first show, my husband did - that is why we watched the 2nd show.
They never mentioned anything about the dad being a stepdad. When the truth came out about the little girl - the dad did say "How could you - I love her more than anything", which once again, angered me that he said this in front of the other children. So, if he is the step- father, this may explain that better.
I don't know, after thinking about it alot last night - I know if my daughter was molested how EXTREMELY angry I would be. I guess the big unknown is if your son was the predator and your daughter was the victim. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to be supportive to both!! My husband and I were even commenting about a father who called their home after Mikai had been having phone sex with their young daughter - we were saying we would be on their front step, not calling on the phone. So, I know we would be very upset and distraught if our daughter was the victim of any sort of sexual crime.
I guess I was taught growing up that you can't say things like that (I hate you, your dead to me, etc) because you can never take them back!!! I just wanted the mother to stand up for her family (including Mikai)more than she did. I just could not decide if she was 1)so emotionally drained that she had nothing left to show, 2)on medication, 3)just a weird, flat person with little regard for what was going on around her, or 4)she almost seemed like she may be so emotionally scarred herself that this is the person she had become.
Now after thinking further, I am also wondering why Phil put this on TV. Other than the point of pushing forward if you truly believe something is wrong (which I do applaud this family for), I wonder why this needed so much publicity - 2 days worth of show. And, other the other hand, it needs so much follow up. While I am so disturbed with it all - I really want to know how this family does!!
As I said before, I have never become so emotional while watching a TV show!!!
I am just suprised that Phil did not seem to put the family as part of the reason for this sickness and -the way the show ended - the family was also not part of the solution. Phil just said he would get help for Mikai and he promised to protect the sister. It gave me the impression that after the show, Mikai went one way and the rest of the family went the other.
I am just really sad for them all and wonder how a family can get this dsyfunctional (especially with 4 kids) - VERY SCARY - I guess we all have that potential.

By Tink on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 11:28 am:

I watched both shows and I believe there was a reason for it to span two episodes. There was a ton of background info given in the first show. The man at the show was his stepfather. No info was given about the boys' bio father. Mikai was abused by (he claims) 27 of his mom's boyfriends and their friends when he was 9yo. He had been caught with hundreds of dollars in phone sex charges, internet ••••, and I believe, 9 different instances of possible sexual assault or statutory rape. The family had taken out a second mortgage to finance all of his therapy bills. They had done a lot to try and get this (at the time) boy the help he needed but he lied over and over about what he'd done or tried to do. I think that the parents tried to be supportive for years, getting him the help they suspected he needed. When all of that tiem, effort, and money had been wasted and their daughter was a victim of this man, they had had enough! I think the father wanted the lie detector to prove he was innocent and to have that thrown in his face was the straw that broke the camel's back. I felt like the mother was absolutely devastated. I'm not sure she could even fathom that HER child, a man she'd given birth to, was so depraved.
I think Dr. Phil aired this show to help protect other families that may have this same thing happening in their homes. Too many times, sexual predators go after children that live with or nearby them. They are easy marks, the predators are given a lot of freedom and trust around the children and, if you have suspicions, that you may have a reason to be worried. If he is accused of nine different instances plus a very young family member, I think the parents were naive to think that it was all a plot against Mikai. I am glad that he is getting help but, as a family member of his, I would want nothing to do with him. I wouldn't allow my children around him, I would be afraid that he would retaliate in some way against me, I would not want to be involved with his possible recovery. I would wish him the best and never let him darken my door again. He took advantage of those people too many times in an unbelievable way!

By Emily7 on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 12:56 pm:

If he were my son I would want to try to get him the help he needed, not just for him, but for any child he may ever come in contact with. I however would not allow him in my home ever again. As a parent you are supposed to protect your children & allowing him in their home would put the other children at risk. I hope that they have caught him at the point that he can get help, but I am not confident in that. I wonder what the police department & family services in the families town thought of the show. I wonder what kind of repercussions this family is going to have. Maybe I am being harsh, but if they felt he was not right, why was he allowed to be alone with the 2 year old. From what I understand the signs were all there.
I REALLY did not like the dad though, there was just something that was not quite right about him.

By Trisa on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 01:07 pm:

I did not like the dad at all.
He was very mean and hurtful.
I thought Mikai seemed almost in a daze himself.
I hope the help he will be getting thanks to
Dr Phil will really help him. Maybe he has just felt very unloved all his life. Not that it makes it right.

By Trisa on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 01:08 pm:

Opps getting help that is to read.

By Mommmie on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 01:57 pm:

Oh, that kid gave me the creeps and I only read the slide show on the Dr. Phil website and didn't see it on TV.

I think the parents were in major denial. I think they were adjusting their definition of sexual predator to keep their son from falling in that category. (Until Dr. Phil laid it out and then, of course, there was anger.)

Don't the studies indicate that this is a very difficult thing to "cure?" No matter the help that is given? I'd walk away from him, too.

One of our neighborhood kids is this way. I caught him the first time when he was 4. My son mentioned activity when the kid was 10, too. I talked to the parents. They don't know where he got this behavior but they call it "normal." I think his mind is just bent that way and it's not a stage or normal. He is obsessed with anything having to do with private parts. He is constantly touching his own. He was banned from here years ago, of course, and I warned all the neighbors, but one family didn't believe me and they continue to let their son play with this kid (and their son's behavior is getting worse and worse - imagine that). Denial is powerful!

By Annie2 on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 12:01 am:

I only caught a glimpse of the first show, I think it was, when the 19 year old was still in denial.
The thing that made the hair stand on the back of my neck was watching the video where he is "restling" with his kid sister, turns his head to see if anyone is watching them, then swipes his fingers across her vagina.

Where are the parents? They obviously have some clue he does this...why are they letting the sister be prey to this jerk?

Gone are the Jerry Springer "talk shows" now we have "reality by editing" talk shows! :)

By Heaventree on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 10:02 am:

I realize that Makai is this woman's son, however, he is not a child. He is a 19 year old man. He should not be left alone with children and should not be trusted around anyone. Just recently in our city a 16 year was arrested for multiple accounts of sexual assalt on woman as old as 33 and a very young girl. Although Makai looked young and very vunerable on the show he is a fully grown adult and should be held accountable for his actions. There comes a point in our lives where we can no longer blame our parents for what has happened to us and we must take responsibility for our own actions.

I know that this problem started in this family, but it should have been dealt which much sooner especially considering the history of the the parents. I wonder about the other boys in this family.

During the show I too felt that the parents could have said more, but you have to understand that they were not in the privacy of a counselors office they were being viewed by millions of people and a studio audience. Anything that they might have said they knew that they would be judged upon. You have no idea how you would react if you found out that one of your children had hurt another one of your children. It's really hard to say unless you have been in that situation. I think the mother was in a state of shock. Imagine how responsible she must have felt considering she herself was molested and she could even protect her own children.

I hope Makai gets the help he needs. I also hope this little girl will also get the help she needs. I have no idea what kind of impact this will have on her life, whether she is too young to remember I don't know, I do think that even if she doesn't remember it has probably effected her deeply anyway.

By Kaye on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 11:06 am:

One thing I think came good of this show. A lot of us know people who are questionable at best as far as being a sex offender. We saw just how easy it is for them to "Get a quick feel", while you are watching and possibly video taping. If you know a family member is an offender you need to just not see them with your child, period, there is no safety, the two brother rule just won't cut it. There is too much at risk.

Also the thing that I found interesting that wasn't spoke of much. The other two brothers, they are not claiming to of been abused, a little odd, growing up in the same household. On the lie detector it came back as inconclusive that he was abused. Can you imagine that he might of made all that up? Just to justify his actions!

By My2cuties on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 11:39 am:

I did not see the show but I read the story off the website. I am glad I didn't see it though because the way it sounds it would have made me sick (just reading and seeing the pictures of that guy made me quesy). I have had problems with people in the past where I did not feel comfortable leaving my child with them and I didn't, even if that means taking them with me to the gyno. I do not compromise I do not care if it is a man or a woman if I have a weird feeling from them I do NOT let them stay. I do not get how someone could video a boy and child wresling and not see him molest her. How is that possible? Can someone that watched the show explain that to me?

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 04:34 am:

Just to let everyone know, Dr. Phil is doing a follow up on Mikai on Wednesday.

I had taped both shows and just watched them last week. I had not read this thread because I didn't want to spoil it for myself.

The video of Mikai wrestling with his sister was taken by the Dr. Phil crew just before the show was taped. It was not just a home video that the parents had made.

I do not believe that the dad is the step dad. I could be wrong, and I could watch the tape again, but I do not recall anything being said about that.

The facts of the case are: Mikai said that the first time he was molested it was by the older sister of one of his friends at the age of 9. Then when he was 16, it was by the boyfriend of the mother of one of his friends. That was the guy who got him started on the internet and other stuff followed, including the alleged 27 or so other molesters.

I definitely think that the parents should have been more aggressive in dealing with Mikai's bad behavior; in addition to the sex, he was lying and stealing as well. Absolutely ALL priveleges should have been revoked. The kid should not have been allowed to leave the house or so much as touch the computer.

Unfortunately, they were correct when they said that the real comprehensive help he needed was not available to him until he could be brought up on charges of criminal sexual conduct, or similar charges of indecent behavior, which would mean that someone would have to be a victim. Kind of like when the government won't do anything about a dangerous intersection until people get killed there. Our society is not very forward-thinking.

As for the family, they need time away from him to heal from all the chaos and trauma that they had experienced. Their reactions didn't surprise me in the least. To find out that the little sister had in fact been touched inappropriately and that Mikai out and out lied to his parents through his gritty teeth all along was a terrible shock to them, (although it shouldn't have been) especially to the dad. But Dr. Phil said he was going to get the family help as well, and in true Dr. Phil style, the parents will have to own up to their contribution to Mikai's behavior and the dysfunction of the family as a whole before they can work to get the family back on track.

The biggest thing Mikai did, aside from vicimizing his sister, was betray ANY faith that his parents had left in him. In the first show, I could see that they were holding on to the one last itty bitty thread of hope that Mikai had been truthful. When the results of the test were read, that thread was snipped away, and their faith destroyed. It may never be restored.

Dr. Phil's gift is in his ability to shove the truth so far up people's noses that there can be NO MORE avoiding it, hiding it, denying it, or excusing it. He did that for Mikai, and in the process, his parents as well.

By Emily7 on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 11:10 am:

I will have to watch it.

By Tink on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 04:09 pm:

Thanks for letting us know there would be a follow-up to this sad case. I hope that they have good news to report in both Mikai's and the family's mental and emotional health.

By Kaye on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 08:12 pm:

I just saw a commercial for this...mom sent him a picture of his little sister while he was in "treatment"...geesh. And apparently she has some big confession. Stupid people drive me crazy!

By Hol on Monday, May 16, 2005 - 08:28 pm:

I think the parents are both waste cases. The father looked so phony when he made that comment ('you're dead to me"), almost like what he thought people EXPECTED him to say. The mother just looked totally clueless.

I hate to say it, but I think it's already too late for Makai. He's a man, and apparently has been doing this a long time. And, yes, that video of him "tickling" his little sister gave me the willies.

He's a predator, and somewhere, there is a jail cell with his name on it. He's an evil kid. I don't believe, however, that he was molested. I think it's just a convenient excuse.

By Cocoabutter on Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 06:01 pm:

I agree with you Holly that both of the parents are screwed up, and they screwed up big time with their kids.

In the follow up I sensed a change in Mikai. He seemed more confident. But, in the back of my mind, I was thinking, he is good at deception and this could all be an act.

The mom is in denial. She never got therapy for herself, so she is incredibly self absorbed, probably suffers from major depression, and she has victimized her entire family verbally and emotionally. She is trying to hide it by making herself out to be a guilt ridden and overly caring "mother". Typically, people who are overprotective are trying to hide the fact that they are abusers themselves. I know a woman who fits that description totally to a T.

The dad is incredibly weak, and although his reaction to finding out the truth about their little girl's abuse seems normal, he is also in denial of just how weak he really has been as far as getting counseling for his family. He has allowed his wife to have control over the situation and that is why it has gotten so bad. She was not equipped to handle it, but it was easier that standing up to her and taking control. I know a man who also fits this descrption to a T. He's the husband to the woman above.

Their son is also a sexual predator.

This goes to show what happens when parents don't take care of their problems and put their problems on their kids.


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