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Am I a being a prude - Halloween Costume?

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive November 2006: Am I a being a prude - Halloween Costume?
By Tayjar on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 01:39 pm:

A friend of my DD is going as a she devil for Halloween. I saw the costume last week and about died. It leaves very little to the imagination in the terms of showing curves and her stomach. Her entire back is exposed, too. Now, let me tell you, this girl's mom isn't the best parent in the world. Absolutely no boundaries, anything goes. This little girl is 9 1/2 and in 4th grade. Here it is (anyone know how to make a link?):

I'm not the most conservative person in the world but I don't like DD to show her stomach unless it's in a bathing suit and even that has to meet my approval. I just have an issue with little girls trying to dress sexy. Maybe I just need to get with the times. Thank God my DD is into sports so dressing sexy is not even something she considers. Oh well. Thanks for letting me get this off of my chest.

By Bemerry84 on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 01:50 pm:

No you're not a prude. It's times like these that I'm glad I have boys. My 9 yr old DS would think she is HOT and that's way too young for that. If I had a daughter and she insisted on this costume she would have a red turtle neck on underneath it or not wear it.

By Pamt on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 02:11 pm:

Not a prude. That outfit is totally unacceptable for any age!

By Dawnk777 on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 02:21 pm:

Not a problem, in WI. It's usually too cold, to be that bare! LOL!

Inappropriate, too, though.

By Trina~moderator on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 02:39 pm:

Perhaps she plans on wearing a shirt under the halter??

By Brandy on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 02:40 pm:

I surely wouldn't let a younger girl wear it but if an older person wanted to (20+lol) that would be fine...

By Tayjar on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 02:56 pm:

Sorry, Trina. No shirt under the halter. I asked the same question. The mom coldly told me she would have a coat on Halloween night. She wore it to the Halloween Party at the girls' dance class without a shirt. She couldn't do tumbling because it kept riding up too much. The teacher made her sit out until it was time for tap.

By Tonya on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 03:04 pm:

I have to ask a question how is that any different than a 2 piece halter top bathing suit.

By Reds9298 on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 03:07 pm:

For me, a bathing suit is different because it doesn't imply sex. A woman or girl dressed scantily in a devil costume implies sin and sex! I'm guessing that my DH can see a woman in a 2-piece suit and say "Hey, a great body" and see the same woman in a she-devil costume like this and think much more detailed thoughts, if you KWIM! :) That's just nature.

Totally inappropriate. Not a prude IMO!

By Emily7 on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 03:24 pm:

I don't think you are a prude either.
She Devil

By Tink on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 03:26 pm:

I was so disappointed in the costumes available to my 9yo dd. I cut out 2/3 of the costumes in the Halloween store right off the bat for her to choose from. Nearly all of the other costumes were sold out in the older girls' sizes (makes me think that there need to be more covered-up options out there!) so she ended up in an "Army girl" costume that I bought one size too big so that she could wear a t-shirt under it and she's wearing opaque black tights with it, even though it comes to her knees.

Ditto Deanna about the bathing suit vs. Halloween costume idea. I find the costume shown completely inappropriate but I know that several of my dd's friends are wearing costumes that are similarly revealing.

By Breann on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 03:56 pm:

I probably wouldn't let my dd wear that. But, I won't even let her dress as the devil to begin with, lol. She has to be something cute. Nothing scary or mean.
She has chosen to be a witch. A nice witch ;)

By Kate on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 04:04 pm:

Well, I wouldn't let my child dress as any kind of devil no matter what. But that costume doesn't strike me as any different from the Disney Princes Jasmine costumes all the little girls wear. I don't think it's so much REVEALING as just inappropriate to choose a devil costume. Take away the horns, fork, and gloves, and I'm not seeing so much of a problem. From all the shocked responses I expected to find something much worse in the link.

By Cocoabutter on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 04:14 pm:

No, you're not being a prude. But you are, if you care about the latest costume designs.

Sexy costumes for young girls a scary trend

'Naughty' costumes not nice for girls (link only good for 11 more days)

By Luvn29 on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 04:47 pm:

I don't care for any costumes showing midriff or too much leg. My dd has worn costumes with clothes underneath many times. She wanted to be a genie one year, and I told her fine, but she would be wearing a layer underneath the costume.

The difference between that and a swim suit? Because everyone is expected to wear a swim suit to swim in. But are little girls expected to wear a halter top shirt out in public or to school? Then again, I don't let my dd wear her swim suit into Wal-mart, either. So I guess to each his own....

By Amecmom on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 06:07 pm:

LOL! I looked at it twice to make sure it was the same costume everyone was talking about :). I don't see it as being any more revealing than most dance recital costumes I've seen - or for that matter, any worse than some of the dressy stuff I've seen for tweens.
Would I like for my little girl to wear it? I guess not, but like Breann, I'd like her to dress as something cute.

As far as it riding up, then it doesn't fit properly and that could pose a problem. But, as shown in the picture, I think it's okay.


By Ginny~moderator on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 06:41 pm:

Here's a column by Ellen Goodman:

Ellen Goodman

A couple of paragraphs from the column:

"There's barely even time to get ``L'il Bo Peep'' -- or should I say ``L'il Bo Peep Show'' costume -- FedExed from my Web merchant. I could, however, get that ``Hottie Little Red Riding Hood,'' bustier and boots, to come over the river and through the woods to this grandmother's house.

Yesss. Welcome to the Halloween horror show. This is the time of year when mothers across America get another chance to rant about the culture that pushes daughters directly from Barney to ``Jail Bait.'' This is when teens can surf the aisles or the Internet for those special costumes that are designed to help them fantasize about what they want to be when they grow up: ``A French Maid.'' And when young women raised on ``Free to Be You and Me'' find themselves free to be either ``Biker Chick'' or ``Blushing Bride.'' "

No, I don't think you're being a prude. As for whether it is more revealing than dance recital costumes, if dance recital costumes are that revealing, then I think the dance instructor should re-think just what it is she is trying to sell.

I don't know why it has become appropriate for women, especially young women and girls, to dress like sluts, but I sure don't like it.

By Reds9298 on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 07:06 pm:

Ame is right as far as some dance recital costumes go. Unfortunately though I agree with Ginny that the instructors should keep that in mind when choosing costumes. (I worked at a dance studio for 5 years in college so I saw lots of little girl costumes! the teacher I worked for never put the girls in anything like this, but I saw plenty in the catalogs.)

By Bellajoe on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 07:57 pm:

Uh no, that is very inappropriate for a girl that age.

But if a young adult, in her 20's wore it then that would be fine, IMO.

By Amecmom on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 08:27 pm:

I was 9 when the 70's ended and was a tween in the early eighties. As a kid, I wore halter tops, tube tops, short shirts that bared my belly button,etc. I had no concept of the word sexy, nor did I ever even think about being anything but a litte kid running around in something really comfortable - and what all the other little girls were running around in.

For those that see a problem with this particular costume (I'm not talking about the french maids and the nurses and all the totally inappropriate flesh baring ones out there) I'm curious just what specifically about it is wrong. Is it that the little girl's belly button is bare or her shoulders are bare?
The top is not low cut, the pants are not tight. It's not a red devil micro mini skirt ...
When I was a kid, my friend's jazz costumes looked an awful lot like this.

I don't find it particularly suggestive or sexy. Maybe because I live in NY and see a lot worse on a daily basis, I'm just immune, but I still don't find it innapropriate or offensive.

Those that do, help me out here. Maybe I'm just oblivious, but aside from the moral aspect of not wanting to dress your child as a devil, I just can't see what's wrong.:)


By Mommmie on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 09:06 pm:

Seems fairly tame to me.

I'm also a child of the 70s. Halter tops were regular everyday wear for little girls.

By Tripletmom on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 09:12 pm:

I don't find the outfit that offensive,coverage wise.The girl is wearing pants.I think we'd just prefer our girls to be more innocent and cute.I'd rather my dd wear this for one night(different theme) and have fun then someone buying her a pair of pants with princess written on her butt.(totally inappropriate)IMO

By Tink on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 09:39 pm:

IMO, it's the impression it gives more than the amount of skin bared. It's not meant to be cute, sweet or even scary. It's meant to be sexy, flirtatious and put ideas into men or even boys' heads that I don't think are appropriate for a 9yo. I think it gives the impression of her being, at the very least, an older teenager or an adult and 9yo have no business trying to look that old. As I said, it's just my opinion but halter tops and tube tops were ok for younger girls in the 70's precisely because they were worn innocently. This costume is not giving the innocent impression that halter tops did back then.

By Shann on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 09:45 pm:

my dd 8 is going as a she devil but her costume is a long victorian type dress nothing is exposed. I tried getting her to change her mind but she was pretty set on being it. I really didn't find the outfit offensive either but it really depends on the parent.

By Tarable on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 10:58 pm:

I have to agree with the ones that say they don't really understand what is so "inappropriate" about this. I actually let my DD wear this exact costume 2 years ago and she loved it. I actually made her wear a nude colored long sleeve leotard that night because it was cold but she had a costume party for her birthday that year and she wore it then without anything under. I actually encouraged her to wear that one instead of some of the ones that show all that leg and everything else too. I guess the devil part doesn't bother me like it does some. I guess maybe I just know that my DD doesn't know what sexy means much less was she trying to be sexy.

By Coopaveryben on Monday, October 30, 2006 - 11:19 pm:

I am a child of the 70's and my dad would NEVER let me wear a halter top or a mini skirt in the 80's. The only reason I had bikini's is because we had our own pool and he thought I just had them for the house.

I don't think it is that bad, If I had a girl I would most likely NOT let her wear it (but that is just me). I think the comment above is correct it just depends on the parent and child. How she normally presents herself.

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 04:35 pm:

This video appeared on my local news station's website today. It's probably a production of an NBC affiliate. It describes the difficulty that teen girls are having finding appropriate costumes.

What's a 12 year old girl to wear?

You'll get a kick out of the last scene!

By Debbie on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 05:07 pm:

I can see how some people wouldn't like the costume because of the impression it could give. However, I don't think the costume, in itself, is that revealing. I have seen girls in a lot worse.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 08:44 pm:

Debbie, I think that's how I feel. It's not the outfit itself, but the impression it's supposed to send. Of course, in WI, it's just too cold to wear a halter top, without a cover, or a sweater of some sort. During trick-or-treat hours tonight, it was 34 degrees!

By Yjja123 on Tuesday, October 31, 2006 - 10:02 pm:

I had my friends kids over tonight. The daughter had the very costome on that you are discussing. I have to say it was NOT revealing on her at all. The top actually met the pants so the only way you would see her stomach was if she put her hands way up (which she didn't). Maybe it is because she has a different body type but it was not at all revealing on her.

By Tayjar on Wednesday, November 1, 2006 - 10:05 am:

I saw the little girl last night. It was as revealing as I remember. Very tight pants and the top showed most of her stomach and all of her back. Plus, she kept acting very "sexy". Her words, not mine. I guess it's not the costume so much as how the mother let her daughter act in it. I did find out she had it altered because it was too big to begin with and the girl wanted it to be "sexy" so they made the top shorter and the pants were taken in alot.

The mother allowed it so I guess I can't blame the costume. I also saw a girl in 6th grade dressed like a Hooters girl. Oh well. Thanks for letting me ramble on about this.

By Bea on Wednesday, November 1, 2006 - 10:35 am:

The same parents who send their children out on Halloween in these revealing costumes are the ones who are totally paranoid about predators. Well they should be! They are blurring the lines between the innocence of children, and what has become a sex charged adult holiday. Let the young adults dress in their provocative outfits and party on, but leave the trick or treating to the children. Don't drag them into that world.

Children love attention. They will do just about anything to get it. They soon discover that wearing these types of outfits gets attention. They aren't yet able to differentiate what is appropriate attention. That's up to the parents and guardians to do. Why would anyone dress their child in a sexually provocative costume? It is beyond my comprehension.

By Tonya on Wednesday, November 1, 2006 - 11:42 am:

I was at school yesterday and saw 2 girls in this same costume and 1 it looked fine on the other it looked fine on also until she started moving her body like she was 21 and in a strip club. I came unglued on her. I told her in no way was it OK for her to behave that way in school and if she could not behave according to school rules that she would have to change back into her street cloths. So to me it is not the costume but the child in the costume.

By Tarable on Wednesday, November 1, 2006 - 12:19 pm:

I think that is just the costume was pretty small on this child... My DDs was like Yvonne's friend's. Hers was VERY loose and the top came down to almost the pants, but then again I normally buy the costumes a little big so they can wear something underneath if needed due to cold weather.

By Amecmom on Wednesday, November 1, 2006 - 01:02 pm:

Tonya, you hit the nail on the head! I love the way you put it, "... it's not the costume but the child in the costume". That's perfect. It makes it clearer to me, now, why it can (and has been) offensive.

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