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Need advice from older mum's whose kids have gone to college

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Need advice from older mum's whose kids have gone to college
By Colette on Sunday, November 9, 2008 - 05:35 pm:

What do you do when your child is choosing a college path that is not the one they are gifted in? My dd is truly a gifted writer, she has won awards, she was going to go to college to major in English when all of a sudden she wants to be a chef. She is a really good cook too, but I know that is a hard field to make any money in and to support herself. I want to encourage her to do what her heart wants, but I am worried about her financial future if she follows this path. has anyone btdt?

By Angellew on Sunday, November 9, 2008 - 07:15 pm:

Has she ever been in the kitchen of a restaurant and seen what a chef does??? Or how hard they've had to work to get there? Has she seen the biography of Giada DeLaurentis on the Food Network? She really gives you a good idea of the work and stress and sacrifices she made to become what she has become!

Now... that said... I'm 43 and I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up!! Having alternatives don't hurt. Just think.. she could write her own cookbooks! My DH asked, when I read him your post... "who sticks with their first choice in college?" Maybe she needs to follow her heart for awhile and see if it's really what she wants... and I would HIGHLY recommend her spending some time working in a kitchen before she makes up her mind.

Parents never have it easy, do we?

By Kate on Sunday, November 9, 2008 - 07:24 pm:

Writers can be pretty poor, too!!

By Happynerdmom on Sunday, November 9, 2008 - 08:14 pm:

I haven't been there concerning college majors, but other decisions. All you can really do, IMO, is to express to her that of course it is her decision, but to please be sure she researches everything carefully. Ditto Angela, she may not even stick with it, but it's important the she feels she is making her own decisions. Who knows, maybe she's destined to be a great cookbook writer, LOL.

I'm finding this stage of parenting (dd is an 18-year-old college freshman) the most challenging! Why on earth did I think it got easier?!?!

By Dawnk777 on Sunday, November 9, 2008 - 08:55 pm:

Sarah decided she wanted to go into nursing, and that's a good field for her, since she loves science and she has a good heart towards other people.

Emily is still undecided. She is very talented in the art fields. This year she is taking an art class and getting a very solid "A". The student teacher and the teacher were just gushing about her, at the parent-teacher conference. Yet, art can be a hard field, too, in which to make money. I don't really know what to do. She is 16-1/2 and a high school junior.

By Ilovetom on Sunday, November 9, 2008 - 08:55 pm:

I would be supportive. I was supportive. My oldest graduated from Alabama in May. Wanted to go to law school. Fine. His LSAT wasn't high enough for Alabama. He didn't really want to go to Jones Law School in Montgomery because he loves Tuscaloosa.

I have always told him what a wonderful history teacher he would make. Never pushed it- just saw his love for it.

He worked for a law firm over the summer and he is now in grad school hoping to teach.

Be supportive. I always want them to know how proud I am of them no matter what they do.

Good luck!

By Melanie on Sunday, November 9, 2008 - 10:01 pm:

Not having BTDT yet, I have to agree with Ilovetom. This is her journey. She needs to find the path that is right for her. If you fight her, she will spend her energy trying to prove to you why you are wrong. Let her explore this interest. She'll figure it out if it isn't right for her.

By Colette on Monday, November 10, 2008 - 06:04 am:

She has worked in a kitchen the past two summers. She wanted to go to Johnson and Wales, which I am fine with but now she is leaning towards a more specialized cooking school - the New England Culinary Institute. I would never discourage her, or tell her I didn't think she should do it. I am just trying to calm myself down on the inside and to know that it will be ok.

By Melanie on Monday, November 10, 2008 - 10:41 am:

Colette, it will be okay. You have a smart, talented daughter who is figuring out who she wants to be. That's a good thing. (((HUG)))

By Dawnk777 on Monday, November 10, 2008 - 10:44 am:

DH had a dream of wanting to be a musical instrument repairman. His mother discouraged him, and he ended up going to school to be a photojournalist, which he loves the work, just not the company he works for. He gets his repair fixes, by fixing lots of computers, on the side.

He's still put off, by the fact, that he wasn't even allowed to try to get the training to repair the musical instruments, so I would let her pursue it and if she changes her mind later on, then it was her decision.

By Yjja123 on Tuesday, November 11, 2008 - 01:30 am:

My daughter is only 14 but wants to be a chef.
I think that she should follow her passion. The greatest gift in life is to work at something you love.
BTW..There are many successful chefs that make high incomes.

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