Not-so-nice kindergardeners

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive December 2004: Not-so-nice kindergardeners

My neice is in Kindergarden and she had a fairly good year, excellent in her work, but the social part is what bothers me. My sister is "not so skinny" and this was made clear by a couple of students in my neices class for the 2nd time (that we know of). My sister cries and tries not to let her dd see how bad it hurts her, but at least she tells her mom. Anyway, i had no idea that kids could be so cruel at such a young age. I don't remember the kids talking like that when I was younger until you get in Middle school. When i worked at the daycare we had a mother that was overweight and had 3 beautiful little girls, we never heard one remark about their mom being "fat".

I hate that term..fat. I do not use it in my house, I ask dh if my clothes fit me or are too little, etc. He knows what I am saying, but it would hurt me so bad if 1 of my girls told my sister she looked fat, so we do not use that word, sometimes we use overweight, but IMO that is correct terminology.

Sorry but I heard about this tonight and it really is bothering me, DH told me that I need to go out with my sister and talk...he is concerned for her health, but we would never hurt her feelings. BTW, I am not skinny, so this is not a bash on overweight people. This is my business, there is so much more stuff that concerns me about this situation. I love my sister. I really want to help her.

I guess this is really more of a vent, it just upsets me more than anything that the kids in her class are so outspoken in such a bad way. I know kids tell it like they see it, but I believe that kind of remark needs to be under the "Manners" section that we teach our children. Thanks for letting me talk.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Thursday, December 23, 2004 - 11:58 pm:

I am so very sorry your sister and her dd are dealing with this. It is sad but I am not surprised. I could go into why I think things like this are involving younger children but I will just send you a big E hug and wish you and your sister the best. Children being cruel breaks my heart but they are what they are taught... Big hugs to you all...

By Happynerdmom on Friday, December 24, 2004 - 08:42 am:

(((Hugs))) Of course since we weren't there it is impossible to know how it was said, but, like you said, some kids still innocently "say it like it is" at this age. I'm sure we all have stories, but one day we were in line and there was a very dark-skinned man in front of us. My dd said, "Mommy! That man's skin is VERY black!" I just said, "Yes, it is. It's pretty, isn't it?" Then later, we talked about words that may hurt someones feelings. She had no idea why that would hurt the man's feelings! Many kids have learned by kindergarten what's appropriate and what's not, but many haven't. At this age, I would assume it was said innocently. JMO

By Feona on Friday, December 24, 2004 - 09:34 am:

If you said 2nd graders said it then I would say they were being mean, but I agree it was just said as a statement. Probably the mother of the girl is bulimic or anorexic or something and the little girl is very aware of body size due to that.

Ds says rude things all the time. He just doesn't know better.

By Breann on Friday, December 24, 2004 - 11:18 am:

Based on their age I would say that they might just be stating a fact rather than being mean. Kids that age don't always know the best way to say things.

I've had a couple of embarrasing moments when one of my kids has expressed what they were saying and it came out all wrong! I was so embarrassed.

By Brandy on Friday, December 24, 2004 - 11:41 am:

My son was told i was fat one day and he got really ticked off at the boy and was crying about it he came over to me and told me what the boy had said my feelings were very hurt also.Later my Alex pulled the little boy over to me by his uniform and said now tell my mommy sorry lol it was so cute = ) i don't know what to tell you to do but it does hurt even if it's a little kid = (

By Cat on Friday, December 24, 2004 - 12:23 pm:

Kids are blunt, especially at that age. I do think there may be some that are just being mean, but most 5 or 6yo's are just stating facts. I had two different 4yo's at two different times (couple years apart) tell me my teeth were dirty (stains). While they weren't being mean about it, others had at one time or another (especially when I was in jr high), so yes, it hurt. Sorry this happened.

By Kristie on Saturday, December 25, 2004 - 11:37 pm:

My DS entered kindergarten this year also and I have heard some of he things the children say and I am shocked. About 3 weeks ago, the last time I took DS to school before handing all that over to dh I heard a little girl call a little boy in DS class a fat ---. (3 letter bad word) I told the teacher and the little girl was disaplined and had to apologize. I thought that this little girl was the exception not the rule. Then, now that DH has been takeing care of all the school activities he said he can't even count how many times he hears the kindergarteners cuss and say very hurtful things. Not all of them do it but more do it than don't. We had a talk with DS before school started and told him he is to never ever make fun of anybody for any reason and if we ever found out he did then he would not like his punishment. (takeing away t.v.) I haven't ever heard ds say things like "fat" or anything like that. I hope I never do!