Christmas blues
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive November 2004:
Christmas blues
Well as most of you know i am now 33 weeks pregnant. And we are in the UK so its obvious to us that we are not able to travel home for christmas. BUt for some reason it is not obvious to anyone else. Dh's brother is getting married Dec 18th and his fiance is furious that we arent coming..well the dr wouldnt let me even if i tried! His ex is mad as well and his family understands but are pretty disappointed..so in fact that all 3 of them have suggested that he come WITHOUT me..how mean...not only leave his wife alone for christmas but with the very HUGE possiblity that i have this baby while he is gone. My dh had never even considered it thank goodness but it does sting a bit to hear them ask. Well everyone is also so wrapped up in telling us what to get them for christmas and it seems to us that everyone has gotten so selfish and we are tired of it.
We have decided on a new plan now..this christmas we have to decided to MAKE presents for the family and just give the kids a few things that are small and stay in the spirit of christmas..we also decided that every year on christmas we would each make a new ornament and get rid of store bought ones. We are not getting each other presents at all but instead buying something together for us for the house. Have we gone nuts? Probably but we miss getting excited about decorating and it being replaced by soooooo much stress about how to afford all these gifts for everyone and going into debt to please everyone.
We've been sort of doing the same thing with the kids, small things, except for one big (though not usually expensive) gift from Santa Claus like a spring horse or wooden train set that's for everyone.
But don't get rid of the store bought ornaments! No matter where they come from they're a part of your family's tradition and history.
No, you don't sound crazy. Fed up yes, but not crazy. 
Christmas has become so commercialized. For so many, it's all about the gift - receiving, NOT giving.
You are completely within your rights to do as you see fit.
And in doing what you are planning to do, you'll probably have a happier Christmas, and your kids will learn from this experience.
I wouldn't throw out anything, because you may feel differently about that stuff in the future. However, I think it's a great idea to make ornaments with your kids each year. We did that when I was growing up, and I did that with all 4 kids as they were growing up. Most of those ornaments are too fragile now to put on the tree, but I have containers with each child's ornaments in them that we have saved.
We have a snowman theme--kinda funny living in Florida My kids make a snowman every year. This year they made yard decorations. Big wooden snowmen made out of wood that they painted. When they move away they will have quite a collection of decorations to decorate their first place. We also buy an ornament every year and make an ornament every year so they will have enough ornaments to decorate their own tree.
I agree you shouldn't throw the ornaments away. Box them up and maybe your kids will want them someday.
Making gifts is a great idea! I made necklaces for a lot of people on my list. My daughter and I made cinnamon candles for almost everyone on our list. They smell great and have a special label we made on them. We are going to maked some goodies too to go along with the candles.
Enjoy your holidays and know that you are right in not having your husband travel. My husband was forced to attend his sisters wedding when I was in my last trimester and in a high risk pregnancy. He was out of state for 3 days and we were both basket cases because I was spotting and worried I would go into labor too soon. Your immediate family comes first!
I can't believe the nerve of your families. I agree that you need to take care of yourself and that your dh needs to spend this time with you and your dks.
Honestly, I'm jealous of the plans you've made this year for your gift-giving. I am feeling a ton of pressure from my family to provide bigger and better gifts for my kids and theirs. I just cleaned out my dks' rooms and gave away about 75% of their presents from last year because they aren't ever played with. I think you are going to be providing your dks with wonderful memories and teaching them a better definition of what Christmas should be about!
Kenna. I'd thank my lucky stars to be over there this Christmas. As I told our family members so many times, "The road is just as long in both directions." They have a unique opportunity to visit the British Isles and they want you to come back here instead?????
We were very lucky to spend several early years of our marriage in Germany, while the boys were little. Being so far away from our families gave us the opportunity to create (or really borrow) many wonderful traditions of our own. We always tried to have our decorations up by the first Sunday of Advent. We made sure that our creche or (Nativity Scene), was in place by the first Sunday of Advent. The tiny figure of Jesus is held until Christmas Eve, so the manger is bare until then. We had an Advent wreath with four candles, which we lit each evening. One candle was lit for each week before Christmas. Then we sang a carol or read a story, prayer or poem. On the eve of December 6th, when my boys were little, they would put a boot outside the front door for Saint Nicholas. The German tradition is that he travels with his companion Krumpas,(or Black Peter, as he’s named in some areas) (a sort of gnome) to visit children on the eve of his feast day. In the morning they would find candies and small toys for all the times they’d been good and thin branches, (switches) for the times they were bad. I always made a gingerbread house that looked like the witches cottage with Hansel and Gretel in front and the witch leaning out the door. We'd have friends over about a week before Christmas and go out caroling in our neighborhood. Christmas Eve we would go to church at midnight. (A special treat for little ones). (Hint!! They sleep later the next morning.) We'd hang stockings before the kids went to bed. The tree was up but undecorated. Santa did that. They would go to bed with a bare tree and awake to it’s full glory. In the morning, no one could come into the living room until Dad had his coffee and the camera ready. After gifts, we had breakfast and checked out our stockings. On January 6th, Epiphany, The boys had a party. They smashed and ate the gingerbread house and drank hot chocolate with their friends, while their dad and I put away the tree and decorations. Lately, since the kids are grown, we’ve held a Boxing Day Open House every December 26th.
Use this time to create YOUR traditions and special family memories.
We have gotten very excited now making all of our plans..we sent shopping today for all kids of stuff to bake christmas goodies all month and a bunch of christmas crafts so we can make our ornaments and other decorations. We will be decorating the house on Thanksgiving like we always do. As far as our families i am tired of his side treating me like i keep him from them..HE is the one that joined the military BEFORE he ever met me so he took himself away..i am just supportive of him and i think they should be as well. Thanks for all the ideas!
Sounds like you're going to have a great Christmas! And absolutely you and your DH should not be travelling with the birth of a baby so imminent. Hope you guys have a great holiday!
They are very selfish. I know they want to see him, but it's just not a good time to leave. My family isn't doing anything for Thanksgiving, so the kids and I will go to my SIL's house for turkey. (Hubby has to work) I'm relieved that I don't have to try to eat two Thanksgiving meals in one day. I'm not in the least bit upset.
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