but to what extent?
My neighbor borrowed a formal dress of mine, a silk/velvet wrap and jewelry to attend a USMC birthday formal Biloxi, Miss.
She was home for a few hours today than came by my house with the dress, wrap and jewelry. While standing in my house she asked me if I would like her to dry clean the dress....duh? Isn't that a no brainer?
I said "please, I would be putting it away for the next formal event." I didn't even think about the wrap.
Anyway she left and I smelled the wrap. It reaks of cigarette smoke. Of course, from the casino.
I just mentioned to my dh that I am thinking of dropping off the wrap at her house tomorrow am for her to have that cleaned also and he said "No, you need to be gracious".
I think I have been very gracious. Now, "I" am out of money for HER event?! I won't drop it off but I am miffed that someone would borrow something and not have it cleaned. Isn't that common courtesy?
(She has borrowed clothes before for a funeral but those clothes were machine washable. They came back washed.)
Plus my dd babysat her 5 children overnight for this event. I was asked by my dd to go down to her house twice to console her kids because they missed her. Which I did, of course
I know I am being petty. It will cost me $5. Needed to vent.

By Kim on Sunday, November 14, 2004 - 09:01 pm:

Yes, Annie, vent away. I would be upset also. Yes, it is common curteosy to have the items cleaned before returning. I agree with your DH. It would be tacky to take the wrap over. How would you phrase that? Although I guess you could say she forgot to take the wrap also. It shouldn't cost you anything but it *would be* gracious for you to say nothing. I am sure someone will disagree!

By Yjja123 on Sunday, November 14, 2004 - 09:17 pm:

My way of thinking is you can do a lot of great things above and beyond for people and not feel appreciated. The good you put out into the world will come back to you.
Was your neighbor rude? No doubt--YES. Is it worth disputing? Maybe not. If she asks to borrow something again I would be more hesitant. You could state up front you will need it cleaned prior to returning. She may not have known the wrap smelled.
Just tell yourself you did a good deed and feel good about yourself. Karma is a wonderful thing.
Just my opinion of course.
Yvonne

By Bea on Sunday, November 14, 2004 - 10:23 pm:

Annie, could you spray a little Fabreeze on a towel, and tumble your wrap with it in the dryer, on air, for about 15 minutes. If it has just picked up the scents, but is clean, that may be enough. If she's a smoker, I'm sure she never considered the smell. Like you I'd expect her to have the dress cleaned before returning it.

By Ginny~moderator on Sunday, November 14, 2004 - 10:32 pm:

I've read the above, and my reaction is I'd call her and say "I guess you didn't think about the wrap when you took the dress to the cleaners, but it reeks of cigarette smoke. Do you want to take care of it or reimburse me for the cost of having it dry cleaned?" If I were to be kind in my thinking, I'd say she didn't think of it.

Gracious is one thing, but to be out of pocket because you loaned your nice clothes to someone else is, imo, a bit overboard. You were gracious when you loaned the clothes - to be out of pocket because of your generosity leans a bit towards being a patsy.

By Tink on Sunday, November 14, 2004 - 10:41 pm:

I think it would be a bit silly to risk making your friend uncomfortable over $5. If you went to lunch and she was $5 short, would you refuse to help her out? I don't smoke but I might forget that there was a chance the wrap would smell and would think that, since it hadn't gotten dirty, I didn't need to have it cleaned. Like Yvonne, I'd make sure to say up front that everything would need to be cleaned before it was returned, if you loan her anything else.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Monday, November 15, 2004 - 12:32 am:

I agree, I would look into dealing with it on my own. Either Bea's suggestion or taking it to the dry cleaners myself. Yes you are out five bucks but it is a lesson learned. Next time ask that the items be dry cleaned and bagged for storage before they are returned. Life is to short to split hairs over five bucks. JMHO of course. But at least they just need cleaned and aren't ruined.

By Missmudd on Monday, November 15, 2004 - 02:57 pm:

I'm w/ the rest, I am sure your friend really didnt think about the wrap. She may have just felt weird having your items beyond the night she borrowed it and wanted to make sure you didnt want it back immediatly. I know that if I borrow something (which I hate doing) I try to get it back as soon as I can, granted I also try to get it back in better condition than when I borrowed it but she may not have noticed the smell.

You may want to try Dryel, (those dry cleaner bags you can do in your dryer). I have had good luck w/ them and it probably would take out the smell w/out the hassle of the dry cleaners.

By Mrse on Monday, November 15, 2004 - 03:49 pm:

She most likley did not clue in, that it would smell, honest mistake, forget about it, get it cleaned yourself, it is called chosing your battles, it is just not worth it to get everyone upset over a five dollar cost. If it was more costly then my answer would be totally different, but for 5 bucks, I don't think I would worry about it.

By Annie2 on Monday, November 15, 2004 - 06:26 pm:

Thanks, ladies. A lesson learned for next time. Reading this today it sounds petty. I'm really a generous person. I was also thinking maybe she was afraid of the liability of having the items cleaned. It's water under the bridge, so to speak! I'll drop it off at the cleaners this week.
Bea, thanks for the suggestion. I'll try this first