Ever snice ds was born, about four months ago I have started have awful nightmares. But latley in the past few days they have gotten really bad. Saturday night in them dream I heard someone in the house so I woke dh up(all of this in the dream) and we both went down stairs, we were standing in my living room and dh was holding his shotgun, and this woman walked through the dining room holding my baby, all of a sudden the front window had hinges on as she walked out my front door I jumped out of the window and grabbed my baby, she yelled at me and then drove away. She was driving a black chevy extended truck and the plate was wrv309. In my dream it was 3:16 am, I called the police and they said they would be at my house no later then 3:30. Then I woke up, but I didn't realized I had been dreaming so when I woke up it was really 3:16 in the morning and I actcually got out of bed and went downstairs to wait for the police, ten minutes later I realized it was not real. Then today when I got home from work my front door was standing wide open. Well I didn't go in I put ds back in the car and went to my mom's. Turns out that nothing was taken, but someone had to have been here because I know that I closed and locked the door. I am scared to sleep. I don't know what to do. Any help would be great. Thanks

By Kaye on Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 08:07 am:

Let me first just give you hugs. I have btdt and it is horrible. You are the first person besides myself that I have seen get a license plate number, you have made me feel not so odd. So first how do you quit having these nightmares...well you are obviously stressed out, worried about your child's safety. Really pay attention to your tv viewing, if at all possible, just give it up for several days, part of the garbage in, garbage out. Second fill your mind with some good stuff, read some happy books, watch soem feel good movies. You need to spend sometime convincing yourself that you and your baby are okay and are safe, do whatever measures that means for you, if your baby needs to be in your room, if you need to add locks etc. I cannot sleep in a hotel with out a chair in front of the door..LOL. Also I have found if I am really uptight a glass of wine before bed helps. Also what do you think of when you go to bed, try to mold your dreams, come up with a soap opera type idea, you as the star, your dream world, every night go to bed and play this in your head. So then the next thing to deal with is...what if these are real, what if you have some amazing gift of dreams and are seeing some important stuff, who knows. So here you have to be proactive, you have to know that you are in charge of your dreams, don't let them rule you. Just being mentally aware of that during your dream you can always stop them. Second, did you know that you can trace a plate number. It costs five dollars in texas, run that plate number and see who it belongs too. Chances are it isn't a real number and that will put your mind at ease. If it is a real number then I am not sure what you do, but at least you have some info. I used to have horrible dreams, most nights are better now, it took me really making control and also not stressing about little things. As for safety in my home, I may be slightly ocd, but I will sleep better if I know my locks are locked, doors are closed, lights are off, night lights in the right places, I have to do a prebed check. My hubby used to do this for me, then I noticed he missed a door...so I have to do it myself! You need to empower yourself. If you ever want to email, please do at kaboom @ houston.rr.com

By Emily7 on Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 10:19 am:

I had horrible nightmares when I got pregnant. with both my kids. I think that is has some to do with the harmones in our body. I woke up one morning angry at my dh because he sold the kids & left me.

By Tink on Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 10:22 am:

I agree with all the advice that Kaye gave you. Do everything you can to feel safe. If bedtime routines help our children, they will help you too. I also have a recurring nightmare, but they only come once a month or so. I hope you can find some help for this, it's such an awful feeling. {{{Theresa}}}

By Fionadeassis on Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 10:32 am:

Emily7 LOL about Dh selling the kids and leaving you! I have woken up mad at Dh for stuff he did in a dream. Theresa-I had a very vivid dream about a friends daughter being taken and murdered. I had all the dates and even the house(I checked and yes the house really did exist)...I even saw when the police found her body. I ended up telling my friend and really freaking her out-but nothing ever happened....it was just a very vivid dream....

My sister dreams of lottery numbers all the time. Sometimes they are on licence plates. She has always played them but has never won....

I often have bad dreams about my kids(more so when they are babies and I am not having a good sleep)...

Kayes advice is right on the mark! I try to go to sleep thinking happy positive thoughts...

fiona

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 09:45 pm:

I started having horrible nightmares after the kids were born, but it was actually my anxiety disorder manifesting in my dreams. I'm not saying this is what is causing yours, I had symptoms when I was awake and the dreams added to them, but I was diagnosed shortly after their birth. The hormonal change kicked a managable disorder into a debilitating (sp?) one.

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 10:44 pm:

Cori- I remember your description of your recurring dream in your response on the "Game for Everyone" thread. Are you still having them?

I used to have recurring dreams of tornadoes. When the tornado would get to our house, I would wake up. Finally, I dreamed I dove under a huge pile of pillows as the tornado actually went overhead, and I survived! I don't have those dreams anymore. Now I have different ones.

I used to babysit a little girl who has since died from a horrible disease that attacked her heart and lungs. I never knew she was gone until 2 months after she died. I never got to say goodbye. I often dream I am with her again and I am able to cherish our time together more. But, then I always have to say goodbye. I wrote a poem about her. I still have to give it to her parents.

I also have had several dreams about losing my son (almost 8). Once, in a dream, I actually allowed him to hop on a city bus and go to the mall all by himself. After he left, I suddenly realize how utterly STUPID that was and rush off to find him in a fit of panic.

I also recently dreamed that he showed up at the front door all by himself- in the middle of his school day! I asked, "What are you doing home?"
He said, "I didn't feel like staying at school, so I walked home."
Well, I have had a discussion with him about that. We actually do live very close to his school, and it is within walking distance, and he knows the way to our house. But it isn't safe and it's against the school rules, and I stressed that to him. I hope it sunk in. Now I have to remind him

This one is good. Last week DH and I rented the movie The Day After Tomorrow. If you don't know what it is about, global warming has melted the ice caps in the Arctic and dumped NEW fresh water into the ocean which throws the entire planet's weather patterns into chaos. There are dozens of tornados that ravage Los Angeles, ice falling out of the sky in Tokyo (I think), and three MAJOR storm systems that resemble hurricains, one in Europe, one in Asia, and the other in North Eastern US. With our hurricain, the entire city of New York is flooded. Then comes the new Ice Age. How they explained that one exactly, I am not sure.

Anyway, that night I dreamed that we were in for a major storm, like a hurricain. I told my son not to go outside b/c there was a storm coming (it wasn't quite here yet- I was preparing for it.) I heard on the radio that this wasn't just a storm, it was going to be more or less a permanent weather pattern and we would have to get used to it (must have gotten that line from what Kerry said about terrorism). (Oops! Wrong board! ;) The next thing I knew my son was outside riding his bike! The sky was real dark, the wind picked up and it started raining, and I yelled at him and said, "You get in here right now Michael Allen, or you'll get blown away!" I must have spanked him 20 times! (Well, moms spankins never really hurt anyway). I had never been so mad at him for defying me b/c I was so scared that I would lose him.

Anyway, thanks for letting me share that and I do believe that in many ways we can take control of our dreams. If I hadn't seen that movie, I wouldn't have had that last dream. I hope that when I get the nerve to go to that girl's parents with my poem and find out where she was buried, I might be able to get some closure there, too. And LOTS of people do the double-check at night with the door and window locks. My parents and grandparents do, and I do too. Especially when I know my DH wont be home (when he goes up north to visit his buddy for the weekend.) So put an extra lock or two on the doors.

Another thing you might try is focusing on a daydream where you beat the crap out of the [expletive for female dog] when she gets into your house. Or daydream about having the cops there already when she gets there. Or daydream that you booby-trap your door with barbed wire or a fishnet to catch her when she walks in. (Any other ideas?)

The point there is to remember these ideas for the next time you have this dream, and then you go in there and TAKE CONTROL of that dream!

Your dreams will probably get less scary as time goes on, but the fact that you are having them is a sign that you are a good mom and that you care about your child's safety.

By Theresa_Momma on Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 11:18 pm:

I just want to thank all of you for your suggestions. Dh has promised to replace the locks on the doors, and he is going to put a lock on the basement door so I can lock it at night when we go to bed. We are also saving some money to buy a brand new front door. My house has been broken into quite a few times before we bought, and once snice we bought it. We were home when it happened, although that is a whole different story. Thanks again!

By Tink on Tuesday, October 19, 2004 - 11:29 pm:

Lisa, thanks for asking about my nightmares. Yes, I'm still having them but I've been having them for years and doubt that they will go away anytime soon. I don't have it very often so it is less disruptive than you might think.