Just venting here....
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion: Archive May 2004:
Just venting here....
about my Mother.I gave her a perm this morning and it seems no matter where we are she always has to say something negative about me!
I was sweeping up some hair and she goes "yup,I was talking to Aunt Betty and she was complaining about her weight and that every time she see`s someone with a fat butt that she is bound and determined that she is going to stick to her diet and lose some weight but she can`t do it."Then my Mom said well, your just like Sue,you have no will power and she is constantly picking and eating food."
I said ,"Mom, I lost 10# recently I guess you can`t tell".
She said no,I can`t tell.It`s because your short.You need to lose a lot more that that to notice.AARG ! I didn`t say anything.
She say`s stuff like that all the time then when I defend my self she say`s it`s MY problem,that I am just up tight and to sensitive and like to argue bla bla bla.
I just had to vent.Thanks,I feel better already. .
Well she should not have said that.
And congrats on the 10 pounds!
I know what you mean about mother saying stuff
they shouod not. My mom knows we are looking
for a house and she keps teling me that we will
be stuck here forever because we are NEVER EVER going to find a house! Sometimes I just wish she
would tell me not to worry and that everything will all work out.
I soooooo understand what you are feeling...I can relate!
Grrrrrrrrrr!! Vent away!! What an awful thing for her to say! {{{HUGS}}}
^5 to you and those 10 lbs.! 
Thanks gals ! There are some days when she gets on my nerves more that others , this is one of those days and I am so glad that
I can come here and vent PLUS have people
post that can relate and say positive things !
I am going to go for a walk when the kids get home from school.
Well....that was totally uncalled for wasn't it.
Kudos to you on your 10 pounds, and don't let anyone tell you that it's not a big deal!
((((sue))))
I feel for you...it's a special talent my mother has too. If I say anything back to her she would get upset and start crying. She has a nack for a putting a negative spin on just about anything I tell her.
Chrissy ,Thats how my Mom is also,though she does not cry much she just gets more upset.
I do not know why this is.
And if I bring up the way she treats me (which I have) she gets defensive or try`s to put the blame on me.
Maybe she doesn`t realize it?
My older siblings notice it also on how she treats me.
We would be a lot closer , meaning I would put more in to our relationship if only she was a
little more positive towards me,
as it is now I don`t go out of my way to visit her.She lives about 40 miles a way.
Also she treats my oldest DD way better than my other DK`s.It`s very obvious.
It`s sad.I know she had a difficult childhood
maybe the way she treats me stems from that??
I just try my hardest not to take
what she say`s to heart and don`t see much of her in the mean time.
{{{Sue}}} I can't imagine my mother treating me like that. I'm so sorry. I'm curious, where is her placement among siblings? I ask because you said she treats your oldest better than the youngest and that your older siblings notice how she treats you (which makes me think she doesn't treat them that way). Like I said, just curious. Big hugs.
Sue, I understand how tough it is to hear nothing but put-downs from the one person who should be your cheer leader. I wouldn't fight with her, but you really do have to stick up for yourself. If you simply laugh and say "Now Mom you know that isn't so," you've deflected her barb and given yourself a positive stroke. Don't let her do this without protesting. Little by little this sort of thing chips away at your self esteem. Stand up for yourself.
I understand how you feel. My Mom drives me nuts sometimes, but then other times we get along great. I feel like as long as I tell her what she wants to hear all is well in the world. Good job on the ten pounds! I am wondering if this is what we have to look forward to with our daughters. Thinking back, this is the relationship she had with her Mom.
Hmmmm, my mother is the same way! I thought I was alone
My mom seems to say things before she thinks of how it will make the person feel.
The other day my dh was talking about how we feel in a rut with our money situation. Mom says "It will never get any better!" Geez
Then at my job the other day I had brought the baby in for my co-workers to see and someone says Wow, she is a pretty baby! and my mom says "Too bad we can't say that about it's mother!" Then just laughs. I know she's joking but it still hurts and embarreses me!
She once told me that I've never done anything exceptional in my life! She told me this when I was about 18. Sure maybe I had'nt done too much in my life at that point, but GEEZ
I love her with all my heart but she just doesn't know how to give a kind word.
My 7 year old was being quite the brat today and she asked him if he had ever thought about running away from home, and he said no, and she told him to concider it!!! I just look at her and said "MOM!"
I told her about one of my friends who is having problems with her teenage daughter and mom trys to put all the blame on the parent.
One thing that REALLY bugs me is she always thinks that people who say that they were sexually abused as children are mostly lying! She gets upset if she hears about someone who is stuggling with things in their life because of the effects of being abused as a child.
I guess I should have made my own post...sorry Sue.
just had to vent
Got myself one of those mom's too. Try really hard not to be like her but I catch myself repeating things she always said to me. I need to start collecting money for every time I have to say sorry to my kids for putting my foot in my mouth. I would be rich...
Big hugs to us all...
Maybe we all are long lost siblings with the same mom!!!!
Sometimes I have to hold the phone away from my ear and bite my tongue not to say anything back to start a fight-because my mom will WIN!!!!
fiona
Sounds like my mom. Miss negativity. Werid it still bothers me...
Wow ! I didn`t think my post would have so many responses!Even though it`s sad that some of you have Mom`s like mine , it is also nice to know that I am
not the only one , which a lot of times I felt like I was.
So many of my friends have wonderful Mothers.
Cat,my mother was the oldest out of three.
Then her Mother left and got re-married when she was 11,took my Mom`s 2 other siblings and left my Mom with the Father.
Father became sad , and drank then my Mom moved in with an Aunt whom had 3 kids and again Mom was the oldest there also.
She never saw her real Mother again and stayed with the Aunt whom I knew as Grandma (the nicest Lady also) until she got married.
She is still very close with the Aunts siblings also.
So see it`s sad,I always think it is because of that , that she treats me the way she does.
And Bea you brought up an excellent come back to say to my Mom after she say`s her negative comments.It isn`t harsh at all.I will defintely try that
next time ,and your right I have to stand up for my self.
Emily , I do the same thing , I tell Mom what she wants to hear.
Also that is my biggest fear that I will slowly become my Mom and treat my daughters like she has to me.
I bet her Mom treated her the same also,probally worse..
Mara ,the examples you gave sounded just like Mom.
On Easter I had went outside to get something and some of the guests were leaving
and Mom said in a loud voice "Everyone is leaving because your son is being a brat".He`s seven,and he heard her.
This is her grandson mind you.
Mara is she like this with just you ?
Please don`t apologise ,I`m sorry your Mom`s like that also, like I said before I thought I was the only one.
Bobbie , I try not to be like her too !
Fiona ,I do the same thing with the phone also,it`s so sad isn`t it ?
I think we all have to realize it`s not us , it`s our Mom`s and like Bea said we should stick up for our selves. Thanks everyone.
Im so sorry to hear this about some of your mom's especially with mother's day coming up. My Mom is the most wonderful Mom and Grandmother. She's so willing to do anything and is very thankful for everything and anything that we do for her.
On the other hand we can't say the same about my DH's Mom. She is more like the wicked witch of the west and we finally around 3 years ago after my DFIl passed away have removed her and all her negativity and problems she would try to cause from our lives.I could go on forever about her and the problems she tries to cause in her 6 childrens lives and yes, there is big time favortism(sp) with the DH's siblings and grandchildren. Of course my children are the ones she has nothing to do with. We've finally have come to the conclusion that it's her lose all around and one day she will be sorry she missed out on our family.
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