UGH.. Im not sure if I should do anything else, or go talk to the vice-principal of my sons school.
Hes 9 and in 4th grade. Hes always been a talker, and likes people, likes to talk even when hes suppose to be listening to the teacher. Im not downplaying his problems, this goes on yr after yr. Ok, this yr, hes got alot of "behavior" kids in his class, makes my son look like a saint.There has been soooo many problems, I wouldnt even begin to know where to start, so I wont bore you with all of them. BUT, Ive gone and talk to his teacher several times. This lady has been teaching around 20 yrs or more, mostly 4th grade. She told me this has been her most difficult class yet. She said lots of dift behavior problems,constantly separating kids, including my son. As he does talk and distracts kids, Im totally fine with that. Hes been stabbed in the hand with a pencil, the part where the eraser was but is gone, so it was a metal part. He put his hand ona boys desk, and the boy jabbed him. So what was his punishment, 2 days with no recess, gee big deal. Hes had a boy push him down, and twist his wrist. Its just not my son who has harm done to them. The teacher assures me its taken care of. There is a boy who is allowed to fall asleep in class. WHAT?!, Theres another boy who doesnt have to do his work in school if he doesnt want to, and she allows this? Now granted I dont know the whole story on each student, just bits and pieces? But what kind of example does this set for the rest of the class.?Ive talked to this teacher at leat 4 times about these problems with my son... I know the teacher is extremely frustrated herself, she said shes sent some of the kids to the vice-principal, she takes away their recess, she gives detentions, but what else is she to do? That is what she sais to me.UGH.. This morning my son is crying saying he hates school(never really said that before),said kids blame things on him when he doesnt do it. Thats another problem, that most of the kids do know my son gets in trouble alot. So when there is a problem and he doesnt do it(what ever the offense is)they point to him.I know kids will be kids. But, Im extremely frustrated...
To top it off, my son has only missed 2 days of school since Sept. I am taking him out of school for 5 days to go to Disney. I told his teacher 2 months ago, and one month ago. I know most teachers dont like that. BUT, I dont care. Anyways, I hand write her a note yesterday giving her the days he will be gone, and asking her for work to take with us. My son gives her the note, and I guess, she makes some comment about how much timeit will take etc... Of course I wasnt there. BUT, I know his teacher, know her attitude. I know for a fact there have been several other students who have been on vacation during school time and she has given them work.
Do I talk to her again? Do I talk to the vice-principal? Do I sit in his class to see what exactly goes on?
Being pregnant, my emotionas and moods are all over the place.And, Im certainly in no mood for this.
Sorry for the long vent.

By Texannie on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 09:10 am:

I would set up a meeting with the principal and the teacher and talk about all your concerns. Try to write them down so you don't forget anything and to help you keep your emotions in tact.
just as a side note, my son was horribly ill at last year at school. He basically missed the last 6 weeks. There were a few days here and there that he would try to attend. He was allowed to sleep in class. I am sure to some of the kids that didn't know exactly what was going on, it appeared odd.

By Rayanne on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 09:10 am:

I would talk to the teacher first. If you don't get anywhere, then go to the vice-principle. I can't believe that class. I feel bad. Hope everything works out.

By Amecmom on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 09:19 am:

It sound like you've talked to the teacher already, and she's just not able to control her class. I've had classes like the one you describe. It takes something this woman just doesn't have to handle them. You need love, tough love, but love and respect for your students, even the most miserable ones.
As for a meeting with the VP. Say that you've tried on many occasions to voice your concerns and she has not been responsive. Further say that this environment is having a negative impact on your son educationally and emotionally. I would demand that his class be changed, even this late in the year. 4th grade in NY is a big deal, lots of testing. I don't know if it's the same in VA, but if it is, you don't want his test scores suffering.
He might be better able to control his talking in a new class, where he's a little on edge and a little unsure of himself around new students.
As an educator, you'll never get anywhere with this teacher, so change his class.
Ame

By Ladypeacek on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 09:23 am:

I have found that if talking to the teacher doesn't work then going to the school and sitting IN the class will work wonders!! A friend of mine had a dd in my dd's class and the little girl was a little hyper and stubborn and hard to control on occasions but it got to the point that EVERYTHING was blamed on her. My dd came home one day and said to me that she felt bad for her because she was not the one doing these things but always got in trouble for it! I called her mom and let her know and when she called the teacher she told her that she would not punish her if she wasn't sure it was her. My dd told me that wasn't true she always listened to the other kids! So she went to the school for the day and watched (her dd did not know she was there, she watched from outside the door) and sure enough these kids that were so good got caught! She marched in there the second she heard them tell the teacher that she threw a pencil when she hadnt. The teacher did not even apologize!!

By Happynerdmom on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 09:34 am:

I agree with Ame. It sounds like this poor teacher is probably at her wits end. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't push for what's right for your son. If at all possible, I would get him out of that classroom. Observing the class may or may not help. It sounds like you pretty much know what's going on. I think a meeting with the VP would be quite appropriate. When you do, remember you'll get farther if you concentrate on your son and his needs, rather than attacking the teacher and her shortcomings. Good luck.

By Momaroze on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 09:35 am:

We always have dealt with the pricinipal/vice regarding problems/bullying. Usually the student is given a warning or detention depending on what he/she has done. If the problem persists, the second time around the parents of that child is called into the office and all parents, the teacher(s) and principal hold a meeting. Usually, this helps. When a student mis behaves in anyway he/she is sent directly to the principals office. Sounds like this teacher has alot on her plate to deal with. Her comment about how much time it will take to get his school work together may have been taken out of context too. Maybe something was going on in the class at that time. Good luck.

By Coopaveryben on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 01:04 pm:

I had an abusive teacher my 5th grade year, I think what hurt me most was that I felt like my parents didn't help me (I later found out they had her suspended from teaching in our school system ever again but I was 20 when I found this out). I didnt' even tell them everything that went on because I was worried I would get in trouble for getting in trouble at school. They didn't want to say anything to me because they were worried it would make me feel worse and hate school that much more. I don't know if your sons situation is as extreme but mine was a teacher who was unable to handle the class and I was a talker and she picked on me all day and would spank me for something everyday....EVERYDAY. She would beliitle me any chance she got and other things. This was a long time ago and it still bothers me, it tore my confindence down and to this day when I step in a classroom I still feel inadequate in some ways. I loved school until this point and was a straight "A" student until that year.

I would remind him the year is almost over and you are going to do what you can to help make it go better and I would do whatever it took.

I would go sit in the class, I would talk to the Principal. I don't know what your situation is in regards to time but to be honest if I had to sit in that classroom everyday I would.

By Mommmie on Tuesday, April 20, 2004 - 01:25 pm:

If you can't get the class changed, then maybe you can talk to the principal about putting a full-time aid in there.

Or pull him out and homeschool the rest of this year.

Why did they put so many difficult kids in her class when she wasn't going to be able to handle it? Are the other classes full of difficult kids, too?

Getting the class changed may not help in times where the whole grade is together, like at recess. He'll still see those other kids.

I don't think you are overreacting or overthinking this. You should be concerned.

By Amecmom on Thursday, May 27, 2004 - 01:24 pm:

Hi Jackie,
I was wondering how things turned out. Was this resolved?
Ame

By Amyj on Thursday, May 27, 2004 - 07:18 pm:

Hi Jackie. I would also like to hear how the year ended up. My son has gone through a similar situation, but he is younger. He is a talker and often gets blamed for things he didn't do. I am also trying to figure out the best way to handle this. Any suggestions for how to start off on the right foot with his teacher for next year?