Since I told My DH I was pregnant he's said he can't have sex, that he's afraid he'll "Poke the little guy in the head." I know he's full of BS when he says this, he's a MEDIC! And when I was pregnant with DD he had NO problem whatsoever. I'm so mad at him right now, more that he's lying about the reason, than that he won't have sex, I'm to sick or tired right now to do anything most of the time anyway. I just wish he'd tell me the way he really feels. I've asked and it's, "well I don't know." I'm tired of copouts. I've been having trouble even getting him to cuddle. I left him a note yesterday telling him I was angry and going to spend a couple of days with a friend so he could have some time to think, and I could cool off. LOL I also told him if he wasn't able to have sex while I'm pregnant then he's got at least a year to wait. Well, I'm done ranting for now. URRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH....MEN!

By Bobbie on Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 12:21 am:

I know he had sex with you while pregnant before but sometimes men have issues with having sex with a pregnant woman. Have a hard time seeing a woman that is pregnant as attractive. (not my DH's issue) but I have heard other expecting moms talk about it before. Could he be under a lot of stress? That can drop someones sex drive. Did he want to have this baby? Is he on any medicine? Medicine can drop your sex drive too. Does this come up a lot or is this just recently, just a few times? Meaning maybe he wasn't in the mood and you felt rejected? I don't know grasping at straws here..... Talking is key to a long lasting marriage. have to be able to express to each other important things such as this or you will continue to have other issues. Resentments for one.. Best of luck...

By Tink on Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 01:15 am:

The first thing that came to mind is how does he feel about you being pregnant again? Your first is really young, right? My 3rd baby was a "surprise" and my DH had to take a month or two to get used to the idea of me being pregnant again. And he loves pregnant women!! It was hard for him to accept that my attention was going to be spread out a little more and he "blamed" me a little at the beginning. This worked itself out pretty quickly and now it is an ongoing joke between us. Maybe it will be something this easy for you, too. Let us know how it all turns out.

By Fionadeassis on Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 07:32 am:

When we got pregnant the second time-Dh was kind of the same.....not so much that he didn't want to have sex....but he got very distant for about 1 month.....it was a surprise pregnancy for us both and I think it took him a while to get used to the fact.....

But it really BURNED me!! Here I was with morning sickness and not really wanting to be pregnant-and Dh can hardly look at me or talk to me. It was a hard time.....but it did work out eventually and is now FINE.....

Maybe give him a little time.....My Dh finds it hard to discuss or even recognize his feelings so it is hard to get him to open up on why he does certain things.....

Maybe your Dh is the same...maybe a little time and patience and he will come around...
Good Luck!

fiona

By Melana on Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 02:08 pm:

I don't know how he feels about it really, one minute he seems happy, and the next it's "Well you're not ready to have another baby." I'm going to sit down and have a long talk with him tonight about it, I've cooled down and have had time to think about it, both of my pregnancies were "surprizes". LOL....but I'm sure we'll get through all this.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 08:46 pm:

Hubby and I weren't intimate very much when I was pregnant with the second one. It just wasn't very comfortable for either of us and neither one of us cared all that much. I guess it was pretty much a mutual decision. I don't remember feeling bad about it. Of course,
afterwards, we didn't quite wait 6 weeks! LOL!

By Bobbie on Saturday, April 17, 2004 - 11:16 pm:

Hope the talk went well. People have a way of redirecting their emotions. If he is feeling overwhelmed and not quiet down with the idea of having another baby he might be unknowingly with holding physical contact. Justifying it by making up silly excuses. I think this isn't all that uncommon. Hope he talks to you and hopefully you both can figure out a way to help him come to terms with what ever is going on in his head.