This could get long, sorry in advance!! I was supposed to have mediation today with my ex, both of our lawyers, and a mediator. We have a custody hearing on the 7th, and we're supposed to meet before then. This was scheduled at the lawyers conveinience, so there should be no excuse from them. Less than three hours to go before we're supposed to be there and my lawyer's secretary calls to cancel. He'll be down south in court for the rest of the afternoon. Normally this is no problem, stuff happens, but it is ALWAYS something with him. He missed a court date on an another case he's handling for me. When I showed up in court without him, he told Nate to tell me "Don't testify, and if we lose we'll appeal in County Court. I begged for a postponement on my own. Fast forward to this mediation today. Nate took off the afternoon, as did my ex. I rearranged my schedule to be there, and hired a babysitter. Oh well! We don't have jobs or lives or anything! On top of that, when Nate calls the lawyer's cell to see what's going on, he gets chewed out, then my phone rings and I get chewed out, and the lawyer is threatening to withdraw. He calls Nate back after I hung up on him, and tells him he needs to "get me under control, and be the rational one" or he's withdrawing. And in the meantime, give my ex whatever visitation he wants. I JUST PAID THIS ATTORNEY $1000!!! I can't afford to put another attorney on retainer!!! And I'm not about to just hand over my custody of my children. I'm so angry!!!!

By Truestori on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 01:30 pm:

I would call the firm he works for and complain. If he doesn't work for a firm I would think there is a place to report this man. He isn't following up on his duties and you are paying him for a service. Sorry I'm not much help...I know it must be frustrating!

By Ginny~moderator on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 01:36 pm:

Call the local bar association and make a complaint. This lawyer is behaving outrageously. The Bar Association is the place that handles complaints against attorneys on the first level. After that it goes to what in Pennsylvania is called the Disciplinary Board of the Supreme Court, which is the body that can pull a lawyer's license to practice.

Sit down and make a list of every time he's not shown up, what he did wrong in handling cases, how much money you've paid him and what you've gotten in return, and as much verbatim as possible what he said to you and to Nathan today. Get it all on paper so that you have it organized, and call the local bar association. It will be the something County Bar Association or Bar Association of something County.

By Mommyathome on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 02:35 pm:

((((Crystal))))
No advice here......everything posted above sounds like a great idea though. Hope you get it worked out.
I didn't know your ex was trying to get custody. Sorry you are having to go through this right now.

By Amy~moderator on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 02:37 pm:

I can't believe this lawyer is behaving like this. I know nothing in this area, but I feel safe to say that he is behaving in a very non-professional manner. I would definitely do as Ginny suggested. I would ALSO let your lawyer know what you are planning to do. You may be able to give him a reality check and let him know that you mean business, and that you are not naive enough to believe that he has the right to treat you this way.

Are you and J fighting for custody, or is this just a formality? Jeez, I really hope everything works out with this lawyer so that you can have some legal representation.

By Marg on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 02:37 pm:

This lawyer sounds like my exboss!

You need to take Ginny's advise and if she's got any more, you need to use it!

Some of these professionals, do not act very professional

I'm thinking and praying for you (((Crystal))).

I have no advise, but I am sorry this is happening to you.

By Coopaveryben on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 03:58 pm:

This lawyer is being horrible! Do you have legal aid were you live? If so I would check with them

By Amecmom on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 04:40 pm:

I'm sorry this has been such a rough time for you. When your kids are on the line, nothing seems to make sense.
Is this attorney in a solo practice or with a firm? Did he have a criminal matter in court (criminal matters take precidence over all civil matters, at least in NY)? Was he on trial? I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes attorneys, especially in solo practice, have to do a lot of juggling. A judge can set a date for a trial and the attorney can do very little to change the court's calendar.
Also, was it even his schedule that forced the change? Was it another party, and did he just take the opportunity to go to court on another matter since he would be free?
Ask his office for an accounting of how much of your retainer he has used and see if you find it reasonable. (I can say that in NY $1,000 retainer would not begin to cover a custody matter, plus whatever else he's working on for you.) Then you can decide whether or not to seek another attorney.
I can offer no excuse for his behavior on the phone, except that he may have been in the middle of something on the case he was in court on, or he may have been a bit stressed out as well.
If you feel he has been unprofessional, you can contact the state Bar Association and file a complaint. They will investigate and there will be a hearing.
You need to ask yourself if, barring his rescheduling hearings, he is a good attorney. You need to have confidence in your lawyer. If you don't, then you have the wrong one.
If you decide to stay with him, ask that in the future, he get someone to cover court appearances that he can't make, or give you reasonable notice that the hearing will not take place.

I know this does not change what happened. I'm sorry. Custody battles are very stressful even when everything goes smoothly. Good luck.
Ame

By Palmbchprincess on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 08:10 pm:

Giiny,
I am at least going to keep records and tonight we will sit down and document today's phone conversations. As I was reading the responses Nate told me a few more things that were said on the phone, and that our lawyer was cursing at him when he tried to explain I am angry because I'm worried. (On a side note, you sounded like his mom when you wrote Nathan... ) Amy, yes J is "fighting" for custody, but it's not exactly a serious attempt. Ame, it is not much as far as payment on this case, but he was hired on the agreement that we would work out payment. He is a friend of my old boss, and had offered to do my divorce (for a much discounted rate) the night I met him. The other case came up afterward, and separate paperwork was signed on that. He did have to go into court on a criminal case today, one of his clients was going to fail a urinalysis and knew it. I respect the criminal taking precident over civil, but he repeatedly puts things off until the last minute and walks in unprepared. The part I'm most upset about is the treatment we are subjected to. Apparently he cannot understand how Nate can put up with me, since I was hysterical. Lovely, huh? Thanks for all the support and advice. I'll post when I know more.

By Ginny~moderator on Friday, April 2, 2004 - 08:55 am:

I would guess that having agreed to take your case on a "discounted" rate and not yet having worked out payment, he is having second thoughts and is putting your case way below second place.

By Palmbchprincess on Friday, April 2, 2004 - 10:14 am:

We've asked him MANY times how much he wants for payment, and to work out a schedule. Most of his clients are handled that way, and we are told "Worry about that later" when we ask him how much we owe him. I've seen him do his job well on other cases, but he admittedly hates family law, and it seems to be showing right now.