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Runaway Bride

Moms View Message Board: The Kitchen Table (Debating Board): Runaway Bride
By Kaye on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 08:33 am:

So do you think Jennifer Willbanks should be charged with something? If so what? And why?

By Vicki on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 09:01 am:

I don't think I have heard about this in the past few days, so I might be missing some new news, but from what I do know, I do believe she should be charged with something. Not sure what, but something. For one thing, I don't think it is a crime to get cold feet and need time to think about things. BUT, she should have left a note or something. I don't believe for one minute that she wasn't aware that she was being looked for. Why else would she have changed her appearance? So, I believe she knew that there was this huge man hunt for her and that costs allot of money that someone is footing the bill for. hmmm taxpayers?? That ticks me off. Then, if she really didn't feel she was in the wrong, why make up the whole kidnapping story? So yes, she should be charged with something, not sure what, but something!!

By Kaye on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 09:54 am:

I have very mixed feeligns on this. I should be able to leave whatever I want whenever I want and have no questions asked. Certainly it would have been kinder to leave a note, but she didn't. Lots of men walk out to get a pack of cigarettes and don't come back. I think the circus this turned into probably explains why she left too, probably didn't have near enough control over her life. I think she lied initially because it was an easier story.

I find it interesting that she left her engagement ring at home...wouldn't that of signaled something? Also heard something about having bought a ticket earlier to texas, not sure exacts on that.

I don't think she should be charged, I do think she should out of kindness pay back some people.

She must be terribly embarrassed, if you have ever called off a wedding you know it is VERY difficult to do. Running away seems like a reasonable solution.

I also think she is probably mentally not all there.

By Trina~moderator on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 10:02 am:

Missing Bride May Still Face Charges

Yes, I think she should be charged for falsely reporting a crime. A tremendous amount of effort was put into searching for her. What a waste of time, resources and money! This is a 32 year old woman, not a young naive child. She needs to GROW UP and learn how to act responsibly. Either that or seek psychiatric help. WHY couldn't she have simply told her fiancé she wanted to call off the wedding?!

By Reeciecup on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 10:16 am:

I agree with Trina - this was completely irresponsible and selfish. She should be charged and pay restitution. Unfortunately, there is no amount of money to cover the emotional devastation her friends and family faced during this time.

By Emily7 on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 10:50 am:

I think she should be charged with something as well as having to pay back the money spent on the search & make a public apology. How many people were on her case looking for her that could have been used to look for another missing person. If she watched TV at all she knew that people were worried, she could have made one phone call to say she was okay. Then to call & give a description of the van that "kidnapped" her. GROW UP LADY...

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 11:22 am:

She should be charged with filing a false report. I think it is ridiculous that she gets away with this, after alarming our whole nation, just because she had the jitters. Grow up lady!! I can't call her what I'd like to on this board, but that should tell you how low my opinion of her is.

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 11:27 am:

Kaye, I just re-read your post, and while I agree that she should be able to leave no questions asked, she did it in a fashion that would automatically make one think "kidnapping". We've seen so many stories of a woman kidnapped and murdered while jogging, it's just too common. If she wanted to leave without facing the music, she could have at least written a note or something. Called her mom and dad, said hey I wasn't kidnapped, I just left on my own. She did not need to call her fiance and say she had been abducted, going to great lengths to detail the "crime". You or I would be arrested if we filed a fake report, it's a pretty serious crime here in TX, with a pass straight to county jail.

By Jann on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 11:47 am:

Why in the world was it national news to begin with?

By Beth on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 01:36 pm:

I thought that I read somewhere that the family had problems that they did not know about. I think she may have some mental issues if that is the case then she should not be charged. If not then she was just immature and needs to face the consequences.

By Mommmie on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 01:41 pm:

No, I don't think she should be charged. She should be able to run off if she wants to. It's not her fault the town went crazy searching. By the time she lied about what happened the search had already been shut down - the money and manpower already expended - her lying didn't add cost. Now the flight back to Georgia and the cost of security to get her home, she should probably pay for, but criminal charges? No.

By Vicki on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 01:50 pm:

hmmm...just one question Mommie. At what age can you just vanish if you want to? So, if your dh would just vanish into thin air, you wouldn't want the police to look for him?? You wouldn't want your neighbors helping to search for him or clues? All of that costs money. All for him to come back a few days later saying he left because he wanted to think? What about your child? What age should we allow our kids to vanish and not send out search parties for them? If my dh or child went missing, I would want the town to go crazy to help find them. ALL of it could have been avoided with a simple note if she didn't want to face people.

By Missmudd on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 01:57 pm:

I have to lean towards not charging. You would have to feel pretty trapped to sneak out of town and fake a kidnapping just to get out of your wedding. As far as the taxpayers and all the people that looked for her, she definately owes them an apology but I think it is like if someone calls 911 for what they think is an emergency but isnt they shouldnt have to pay for it either. I think her perseption was that she didnt have anyway out and was in total panic mode. I dont think she had all her marbles really and cutting her hair and disappearing fits w/ trying to get away from the stress and anxiety. Her fiancee forgives her and that says alot too, it kind of smacks that he wasnt suprised that she pulled this, which either means she isnt stable or is a flake.

I do agree that the media has taken this and ran alot farther than they needed to. I think they were hoping for another Scott Peterson thing and were hoping to get in on the ground floor and now are trying to make a big story about mostly nothing in the grand scheme of things.

By Kaye on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 02:04 pm:

Now one thing to keep in mind, she did give a false statement to georgia police, but NOTHING was done about that, it only last for a few hours. All of the money, search and rescue was the days before that. She didn't fake a crime scene. All she did was go out of a jog and decide not to come back. She did NOT leave bad clues. When she finally decided to call in, she lied, but the nm police said they are not charging her because although she said oh yeah I was kidnapped they didn't have anything to go on, they only questioned her for a hour before she fessed up. So there was no money or time spent based on that. The only thing I think that was done was a general message, look for a blue van.

By Emily7 on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 02:20 pm:

Does she not have a brain? Her face was splashed across TV sets & newspaper all over the place...she didn't once think to pick up the phone to let anyone know she was okay. If she didn't want to talk to her family, friends or fiancee she could have called the police & let them know she was okay. She cut her hair so she wasn't recognized didn't she?

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 02:27 pm:

She did however, go to lengths to plan her "trip" days in advance, arrange for a ride to the airport, etc all in secret. She also gave the descriptions of the people she had befriended in Vegas, who drove her from Vegas to NM, as the "kidnappers". White female, hispanic male, van... these people were her new "friends" from Vegas. This was well-executed in total secrecy, and any adult should know that walking out and leaving the state without so much as a note would cause an investigation. To then lie and give descriptions of her "kidnappers", risking having those people who had helped her arrested, and what about the person who drove her to the airport? Why weren't flight records checked when she first went "missing"? If her fiance or family really had any inkling that she was capable of running away, they should have let the authorities know that up front.

By Jann on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 02:28 pm:

It takes 2-3 days to get to Las Vegas from Georgia. They have said she wasn't aware of the tv coverage until she got off the bus.

By Jann on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 04:48 pm:

Where did you hear she planned the trip, Crystal? The report I read said she only had $170 on her and that she was running out of money.

By Colette on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 05:35 pm:

Jann, I read the same thing as Crystal. I can't find the article but here is one link to another one.

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/4437558/detail.html

By Trina~moderator on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 05:45 pm:

Here's a clickable link to the article Colette posted.

Runaway Bride May Have Prepared To Bolt

This is an excerpt at the end.

Runaway Bride Leaves Albuquerque With Gifts, New Clothes

Wilbanks arrived in Albuquerque on a Greyhound bus with nothing but the clothes on her back, but she returned home in a first-class airplane seat paid for by her family. She carried souvenirs and sported a new wardrobe courtesy of Albuquerque authorities.

Albuquerque Aviation Police Department Chief Marshall Katz said his paternal instinct kicked in. He gave Wilbanks a teddy bear to keep her mind off things.

Katz said Wilbanks clutched his arm tightly as he and a small army of officers led her through a media frenzy to a waiting plane over the weekend.

Wilbanks put the bear in her new tote bag -- which along with her blazer, knit pants and meals -- came from the Victim's Services Unit. She also wore an FBI polo shirt and cap.


Oh, please!! I still stand by my first post.

By Jann on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 06:00 pm:

Confused...from that article it sounds like she had no money. The policeman bought her the clothes. How does that show she planned this out?

By Jann on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 06:02 pm:

ok, read the whole story. it still doesn't sound like she planned it, well at least very well! LOL

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 06:37 pm:

She bought the bus (I was mistaken in saying plane) tickets a couple days in advance apparently. They are testing some hair found in a building in GA because they think it's hers, she cut it before leaving. She took approx $130 dollars with her (from home I guess), and then $40 more from an ATM before leaving. She may not have planned it well, but authorities have reason to believe she did do some planning at least a few days in advance. CNN reported that one of the reasons they believe this is a bus ticket from GA to Vegas is more than the amount of cash she claims to have left with. If you go to CNN.com, you can read different articles from different points in the story.

By Karen~moderator on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 08:08 pm:

DItto Trina!

By Jann on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 08:16 pm:

Yes, CNN was really pushing and developing the story, lots of time without all the facts.

By Palmbchprincess on Monday, May 2, 2005 - 11:27 pm:

From a Yahoo news story:
"At an evening press conference Monday, Duluth Police Chief Randy Belcher provided a chronology for Wilbanks' disappearance. He said Wilbanks bought a Greyhound bus ticket to Austin, Texas, a week before running away April 26. That day, she had a taxi pick her up at the local library and take her to the bus terminal in Atlanta.

She never made it to Austin, instead getting off in Dallas and buying a ticket to Las Vegas. She spent some time in Vegas, mostly hanging out at the bus station, before going to Albuquerque, N.M., authorities said.

It was in Albuquerque that she called Mason and police from a pay phone at a 7-Eleven, saying she had been kidnapped. She later said it simply was a case of having jitters ahead of the lavish, 600-guest wedding planned for Saturday."
Runaway Bride

By Feona on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 06:29 am:

I heard her town spent over 100,000 dollars trying to find her.

I wonder if she has 100,000 dollars... to pay it back? I guess not...

By Trina~moderator on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 06:56 am:

He still wants to marry her! smileybluerollingeyes As if that marriage will ever last.

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 08:38 am:

Gives new meaning to the phrase *Love is blind*........I guess it is deaf, dumb and clueless as well...........

By Jann on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 08:45 am:

The mayor of the town has amended that amount to $60,000.
At least Yahoo tried to get the facts straight. CNN jumped on this story and went with it, (I suspect one reason they did was because they are Atlanta based and possibly knew the families involved) building it up and then had to run all day coverage when she turned up to save face. It's one thing to report it, but to have all day coverage where they are interviewing a janitor at the bus depot of his 'take' on the story is ridiculous!
And now the Today show is doing it's 2nd hour on this!
This is the most important story in the country??? What about soldiers dying? What about Lindie England only getting 2 years for torture as amusement? What about fixing social security? No, we need to focus on a runaway bride.

By Emily7 on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 12:23 pm:

I think she put the focus on herself by leaving the way she did & then filing a false police report. What she did is a crime. If I go in & rob a bank & then give the money back an hour later I am still guilty of a crime. She filed a false police report & no matter what her reasons were it is a crime.
I agree that the story is done & the news needs to focus on other things, but as long as people show interest they will continue to report it.
I mean look at what Entertainment Tonight's focus story is this week... Mary Kaye Letourneau & her wedding! How sick is that.

By Imamommyx4 on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 12:36 pm:

She did nothing legally wrong UNTIL she decided to make up the abduction story. By Georgia law that is illegal and they can file charges against her.

I would just like to hear the whole story. I can't understand the whole thing. I don't want to be too hard on somebody not knowing what was really going on. But man, walking off and leaving like that. That poor guy went thru all kinds of crap as a suspenct. Her whole family in terror worrying about her. Like Trina said, she's 32 years old. She's not a kid. But maybe she's deperessed or has something else that needs to be dealt with. I read one article last night. Some authority said that he didn't think she needed to be imprisoned but did feel charges should be brought so that either the courts could force her in to a psychiatric evaluation or put some penalty on her for making up the story.

I don't think she should walk off scott-free, but I don't want to see her imprisoned either.

By Colette on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 03:26 pm:

I think the whole thing is ridiculous. It should not be a huge nationwide story anymore. We have far more important issues in this country than a woman who got cold feet. She should be responsible for any charges that took place after she made the kidnap story up, other than that it's really their own personal business about what happened.

By Jann on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 05:20 pm:

Well said, Collette!

By Kaye on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 05:38 pm:

One thing I found interesting....they were investigating her dissapperance. But she purchased a ticket, under an assumed name...real original jennifer mason, jeesh. She pulled money out of atm and left her diamond ring? I am not sure why the police didn't pick up on those clues earlier? If they had it wouldn't of become so nationalized.

I will say that I sure get weird vibes from the hubby, good thing she was found, because I would of had him guilty! Odd situation.

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 07:16 pm:

John, I am with you! The Social Security is a HUGE issue, IMO, since most of us are of the generations that will be affected by those cuts. That just infuriates me. Also the Lindie England thing - that is embarrassing to me as an American, and is completely unacceptable - she needs HELP, among other things. Soldiers dying - that should be a priority IMO.......

There are so many more important issues at hand in this country, and I do resent the media having such a field day with the runaway bride.... I think she should be charged, but please, let it be dealt with and stop giving her all this media attention. We need to focus on the things at hand that affect our country and our citizens and their health and lives and wellbeing.......again, JMO.....

By Jann on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 07:24 pm:

Me, Karen? Thanks. I think the media had to make a big story of it cause they blew it up in the first place!

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 08:30 pm:

Jann, not to split hairs, but where did you hear that Englad was sentenced? I like outside Ft. Hood, and all reports locally and nationally say the sentencing hearings have begun, but no sentence has been handed down. That whole topic is another debate for another time, I just haven't found anything stating the sentence yet.

England Sentencing Hearing

By Jann on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 10:41 pm:

ok. so with the plea bargain they are saying she will probably get 2 year instead of she was sentenced to 2 years....still obscene in my book for what she and they did. but that can be another debate topic.
my point was there are more important things that a runaway bride.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 11:04 pm:

Here's my take on it. I don't see how she could not have known, after the first 48 hours. Buses stop for meal stops, at least, and it was headline stories in most newspapers.

But, she did not make the false statement until she was with the Albuquerque police. Whatever statements she made in Albuquerque probably cannot be prosecuted in Georgia, especially since that false report was made after the search efforts had pretty much been stopped.

It does seem to me that the Duluth, GA police missed some clues, or maybe the family withheld some information - the ticket being bought ahead of time, the ATM withdrawal, the ring left behind. But, basically, police tend to act on a missing person report for an adult person if the person has been missing and out of touch for 24 hours, which was definitely the case here.

I noted, early on, that the wedding was planned to have 14 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen. A bit much, was what I thought when I read that.

I can understand the frustration and anger of some Duluth residents. There was a lot of tax money spent on police overtime for the search. I heard on one news report that many of the police involved in the search had to forego plans to attend the funeral of a fallen officer to be in the search, and these officers were very unhappy when it all came out. But I really wonder if Duluth has any kind of good legal case for charging her or attempting to recoup the costs of the search. It's an interesting legal question.

Karen and others, I too am frustrated that this piece of nonsense took up newspaper space that could better have been used to print the details of the "progressive" Social Security plan the President is proposing (but I notice he is not proposing that the cap on earned income subject to the SS tax be raised from $90,000 to, as some have proposed, $150,000.

As for Lynndie England and her boyfriend, Graner, they had to know what they were doing was wrong, and I think they and others should be tried and punished.. But I don't think they and the other enlisted and non-com personnel who have been charged should be the only ones being tried and punished for what happened in that prison (and at Gitmo). I think they knew what they were doing was wrong, but I also think they had been led to believe that what they were doing had the approval of a lot of people going way up the chain of command. I think there has been a major whitewash about that whole mess. I read an article in TIME magazine today about a book, "Inside the Wire" written by Army Sgt. Eric Saar, who served as a translator at Guantanamo for 6-1/2 months. The article noted that among other things, that the military commanders at that prison kept the suicide and attempted suicide numbers "low" by labeling attempted suicides as "malnipulative self-injurious behavior", "self-harm", or "hanging gestures". I will not believe that low level enlisted personnel and non-coms are the ones deciding how reports will be written.

By Cocoabutter on Tuesday, May 3, 2005 - 11:53 pm:

Just jumping in real quick- sorry I don't have time to read all the responses- I am busy trying to convert over to DSL from dial up.

It was a very stupid, selfish thing that she did, I agree. If she wasn't able to handle the stress of the wedding, she could have just said something to her dh2B.

Having said that, she isn't all that much different from any other person who doesn't think about the consequences of their actions when they do stupid things that require law enforcement/rescue personnel to risk their lives to bail them out- such as driving a car through a flooding street, snowmobiling on thin ice, jumping off a pier into Lake Michigan in rough waters, and so on. So no, I don't think she deserves to have the book thrown at her.

I do, however, wholeheartedly believe that she needs therapy. As I said, if she can't handle the stress of a wedding, which is just one day in her whole life, then what the heck is she gonna do when real life hits her- you know- the bills, the baby, the car repairs, the household repairs, the laundry, the groceries, THE STRESS of real life??? She needs help if she is ever going to learn how to deal with stress without splitting town.

By Ilovetom on Wednesday, May 4, 2005 - 07:25 am:

I didn't read all of the replies, but since my girls are older and I am thinking ahead- I would like to say this. Can you imagine being her mother for those 4 days? I cannot imagine putting my mother through that either.

It was selfish and she does need to be charged or something.

By Jann on Wednesday, May 4, 2005 - 08:40 am:

Ginny, I agree with all you wrote.

By Jann on Wednesday, May 4, 2005 - 08:44 am:

I also wonder why her doing this has made so many people (who don't know her) so angry! This has seemed to touch a cord very deeply with people. It's not like this is the first time it's been done...a runaway bride or a faked kidnapping. That college girl in Mn? did it and everyone felt so badly for her, that she obviously needed mental help. There was a little talk of restiution, but I believe the charges were dropped. Why the compassion then, and now the anger?

By Karen~moderator on Wednesday, May 4, 2005 - 09:16 am:

Geesh - Yes, Jann, *you* - I don't know where I left my brain yesterday! Sorry!!! LOL

By Jann on Wednesday, May 4, 2005 - 09:45 am:

LOL, i kept looking for his post ;) I have those moments too and they are coming closer and closer together!

By Kaye on Wednesday, May 4, 2005 - 12:05 pm:

I think the college girl got a probated sentence. But Jann those are my thoughts exactly.


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