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He wants to move

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion Archive: Archive January 2006: He wants to move
By Rayanne on Sunday, January 1, 2006 - 10:16 pm:

My DH wants to move to Texas because housing is cheaper there. I told him that if his job told him he had to move then I would move in a heart beat. ALL of my family is here. I don't want to leave them.

We DO want a bigger house, but cannot afford one with how high prices are these days. We could buy the house that we want for about $188,000 there and here it would be $250,000. I have never lived anywhere else but Florida my whole entire life. It would be a neat chnage and a new start, but I just don't know if moving there because of prices is a good choice.

What do you all think? Should I say ok? He would have a job there, and get paid the same.

By Kaye on Sunday, January 1, 2006 - 10:39 pm:

well I see both sides of this...

first i live in texas, it is cheaper, really, housing is very cheap, schools are good too, not reflective of housing costs. We don't have state income taxes (or local). Sales tax is a bit higher (8 %). The biggest cost in texas is insurance (that is if you are looking at houston or gulf coast). In general all insurance costs are a little higher here.

Second, we moved to Ohio, I loved it there, cost was an issue (we were relieved at the savings when we moved back), but all my family was here.

In general I think it is really good to get to experience living in different places. but family is important. You are only young once and it is easy to up and move and move back, prior to having school issues if you don't love it here. I think it really just depends on how close you are to your family, how often you do things, how much you hate to travel etc. you will find once you move to texas, driving is a way of life, you don't think much about 5-8 hour car trips, because that is just a fact of life in this state.

Good luck with your decision.

By Breann on Sunday, January 1, 2006 - 11:00 pm:

I think you are at an excellent time in your immediate family to look into moving if it's an interest. Like Kaye said, you don't have to worry about pulling kids out of school and moving from place to place trying to figure things out. Your little girl is still young enough that in 10 years she probably won't even remember if you did move or not.

You can move, decide if you like it or not, then decide to stay for the long haul, or move back to your home state all before she starts kindergarten. So much easier now than in 5 years from now!

By Mommmie on Sunday, January 1, 2006 - 11:35 pm:

LOTS of people are moving here from both California and Florida bec of cheaper housing costs. Austin is higher priced area though. Pretty, but expensive. What part of Texas where you thinking of moving to?

By Tink on Sunday, January 1, 2006 - 11:40 pm:

Ditto Kaye and Breann. DH and I are desperate to move out of state (California to Washington State) but, with three kids in school, we just can't justify the upheaval of changing schools, moving away from friends and the lack of contact with my side of the family. I've never lived anywhere else but if it doesn't work out, we'd have to move back and all of the stress would double. Is moving there for a one year trial basis a possibility? Rent for that time and then build or buy where you are happiest? Good luck, Rayanne. It's a tough decision!

By Crystal915 on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 12:49 am:

Honestly, I would go for it. I moved to TX because the Army said we had to, and I didn't want to go, but I fell in love. It is a LOT cheaper to live in most parts of TX, there are still lots of things to do, and living away from your hometown can really be a great experience. It's hard not being close to family, but even from Austin area, Tampa is a 16 hour drive or so.

By Conni on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 06:44 am:

Should you move because of the cost of housing alone? I cant really answer that for you.
I agree that if your dd isnt in school now- it is a good time to try it.

My sis and bil just spent 4 days w/ my aunt around the DFW area. They are looking to move there this yr. He went and talked to the work where he would be transferring into and liked it. They looked at houses and found that it is much more expensive there then they thought. I called them last night on there way home and they were worried about finding affordable housing and were a little disappointed I could tell. They have 7 horses, 2 cats, 5 dogs so their needs are diff than yours I am sure... They had found a place on 5 acres (they have 15 acres now, a huge barn, corrals, fenced pasture, nice dog runs, etc...) that needed some updating, fencing, and had no barn (which is an expense to build!)... It was $250,000 before doing any of the work on the place. Land was anywhere from $3000 an acre on up too $10,000 an acre I think they said. So, they will just continue to look until they figure it all out. He is willing to drive 45 min to an hour to work. So they will be able too find something further out that they can afford I am sure. BTW- they have one child in middle school and one in elem. school.

Just so you know you, I can totally relate to your worry and questions about this. I have lived in Arkansas for the last 20 yrs and my kids have never lived anywhere else. My dh just had his 2nd interview for a job in another city... So, we have been having all the same concerns/questions as you. Except my kids are in school and we know it is a 2 yr stay and then we could move back *home* if we choose too... My family all live anywhere from 20min - 2 hrs away away. Well, until my sis moves to Dallas- then she will be 5 hrs away! If we move there will be no family or friends nearby... But, in reality we really dont see them that much now- but we do talk on the phone a couple of times a day. lol

I want my dh too be happy in his career. So if he gets this job (we find out in 2 more weeks) and wants to try something diff for a bit, then I'll be happy too move. It is cheaper where we would be moving and we have already been getting excited about some diff things from a financial POV...I've got a teen that has expressed interest in staying here with his Dad and not moving with us. Which I can certainly repsect his side of things. My other 2 kids are excited about the possibility of living somewhere new. Everything is just up in the air right now for us... I hate not knowing.

All that too say- it cant hurt to look into it. I was born in Texas and have alot of family there. It wouldnt bother me to move back there. We like it.

Good luck and make an adventure of it. :)

By Reds9298 on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 08:10 am:

I don't know if I would move solely due to cost of living, but I also live where the cost of living is low. I guess just for me personally, family ties are much more important than living somewhere else just for the sake of living somewhere else. (A move may be on the horizon for us, too, but due to job issues and the status of DH's company.) I don't think that now that we have Natalie that we would move just because 'we felt like it', but that's just us, you know? Us moving will be a necessity and not a real choice.

Where we live there's not a lot of culture so-to-speak, but that's what traveling is for the way we look at it. Again, we live where the COL is low so I can't totally relate to your issues. When and if DH changes jobs, we will surely be moving to a larger city with many advantages...better private schools, more things to do in general, diversity in the population, so many things. But if there wasn't a necessary reason for moving (like my DH's company going under, and necessary is a matter of opinion), none of those things would win over the doorbell ringing and Natalie jumping up and saying "Papaw!",you know? We can *take* her anywhere for the experiences we want her to have, and plan to. There are just a lot of things to think about in doing what's best for your family.

I'm sure it is difficult, as we are going through something similar at the moment. Good luck with your decision!

By Momofmax on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 09:46 am:

We've also been trying to decide whether or not to look for employment for my husband elsewhere in the country. We live right outside of New Orleans and things are slowly getting rebuilt but it will take a long time. He didn't loose his job due to the hurricane but it was close. We also hate the weather (yesterday it was 80 degrees with 93% humidity - it felt like we were in a rainforest). Both of our families are here though. I thought the cost of living in this area was low but after some research it's about average compared to other US cities around this size (not the larger cities). It's a tough call. If we move now we can pick the place, if we wait and there is another hurricane next year or in two years we will have to go to Wash. D.C. (which is VERY expensive compared to NOLA and the commute would be at least an hour each way). I've never had a Christmas away from my family. Is it time to grow up or should I count my blessings?

By Karen~moderator on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 09:51 am:

I used to visit TX sort of frequently years ago, and there are some nice areas, and great shopping and REALLY great job opportunities there, as opposed to many other places.

HOWEVER, I just love Florida and that's where I want to live. Always have. As for insurance, if I'm not mistaken, insurance in FL is not the cheapest anyway, so that shouldn't be a concern.

Also, would he have a job with the same company there? You said *he would have a job and be paid the same*. I don't know if I'd move under those conditions. And, keep in mind, moving a household is NOT cheap! There are moms here who have moved to other states, and if I'm correct, had to pay their moving expenses. It's expensive to pay moving companies to move an entire house full of contents.

If it were me, I'd rethink it. The pros are, your DD is young, not in school, so it would be a good time. But if your DH is not going to have a better paying job, coupled with moving expenses and being away from family, I don't know that I'd do it.

And just as an aside - here in Louisiana the sales tax is 9% plus. Our car insurance rates are probably among the highest in the nation. The homeowners and flood rates will be increasing. I'm sure they are somewhat comparable to TX, and I'm also sure the latter 2 are comparable to FL.

I think I'd need more *plusses* before I made the decision to move. JMO......

By Rayanne on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 05:31 pm:

Thank you all for all of your input. It really helps.

I am close to my family, but no one really comes over. We all talk on the phone constantly. We see eachother on holidays and birthdays mostlt, so it's almost like living out of state.

I guess we will have to sit down and really talk about this. Thanks again.

By Missbookworm on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 08:10 pm:

Rayanne I don't know Texas at all but I picked up and moved my family years ago across Canada away from my family and everything I'd known my whole life. I get homesick sometimes and miss it but I wouldn't change what I did for a minute...

In fact if I had the money right now I'd be moving again. I haven't sorted out where yet but I currently live in a BIG city and with all the noise and crime increases and having such a small yard etc. I'm really feeling the itch to move.

I want my children to be able to ride their bikes outside without me having to worry about major traffic. I want to be able to have a garden and chickens and be more "self sustaining" then it's possible to be in the city. I know I'd be giving up some things moving from the city but I also know I'd be getting a lot out of it too. I live a simple life as it is and really my needs are so simple all I'd need is the internet and books and food and well the things I already have in my house and a simple job to cover my needs...

Some of it's financial reasons to move, some of it is personal preferences.

I would really weigh the pros and the cons and decide what is best for you and what you want and need.

Good luck I know how big a decision it is to make :)

By Kay on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 09:49 pm:

Rayanne, I don't know if I could give you an unbiased opinion, seeing as how I live in Texas and have for my whole life....and did I mention that I absolutely love my life here? LOL

I would be thrilled to have you here in Texas, but I do understand the angst of leaving what is familiar and comfortable. I suppose going with the old tried-and-true pro and con list-making could shed at least some light.

By Mrsheidi on Monday, January 2, 2006 - 10:17 pm:

I say move where the most trusted family is. I don't have time to read the above responses, but I wish we lived near family. That matters, over all, most to a stay at home mom.
We've moved everywhere and, just bc the housing is lower, doesn't mean the quality of living is as high as you might have it now. You might find yourself lonely in podunk, TX.
JMHO. :-)

By Kim on Tuesday, January 3, 2006 - 07:47 am:

I am just asking, but, do you need a bigger house? Or just want it? That would be my first question.

By Debbie on Tuesday, January 3, 2006 - 08:42 am:

We have moved several times with dh's job. From my own personal experiences this is what we have found. The first move was very hard, we were living in the same city as my parents and very close to most of dh's brothers, sisters and cousins. Our first ds was just 6 months old. However, it was a promotion for dh and a great career opportunity. We moved to Calf., which we just loved. Dh loved his job, we loved where we were living, so It was a good experience. Yes, we missed our family, but since everything else was great, it was okay. After I had my 2nd ds, we had the opportunity to move back to Texas. We were in a different city, but still just a few hours away from where our family lived. We loved living there and once again it was a promotion for dh. He loved his job, so all was good. Now, this last move has been nothing but a disaster from the beginning. We moved to a place that we knew we wouldn't like, no offense to anyone who lives close to Chicago. I knew I would hate the cold weather. Dh took a job(which was a promotion) but different from anything he had ever done before. I was worried that he wouldn't like it. Dh hated his job, we hate living here and we have been stressed and not very happy for the last few years. We are patiently waiting and hoping we will be back in Texas by this summer. I know I have been rambling, but my point is, if your dh is happpy with his job and you love where you live, then things usually work out, whether you are close to family or not. Yes, I prefer living closer to family and that is why we are trying to get back to Texas. I would definitley visit where you are thinking of moving and make sure it is somewhere that you would like living. If you are really happy where you are, I personally, would not move just because housing is cheeper.

By Rayanne on Tuesday, January 3, 2006 - 09:43 am:

Kim, we don't need a bigger house yet, but once we have another baby, we will. Right now, we have a 3bedroom/2bath. We would like a 4or5bedroom/3bath.

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, January 3, 2006 - 12:12 pm:

Well, if the house is the *only* concern, you CAN raise 2 kids in a 3 BR/2 BA home. I raised 4 kids in a 4 BR/2 BA home, and though we would have liked more room, we managed. My house is not big - it's only 1650 sq. ft. So the bedrooms are not large. But with another child, comes added expenses of raising and educating both of those children. Do you really want to get into a bigger house, move away from family and increase your living expenses in the way of more mouths to feed plus higher house note/utilities due to more space, etc.?

I realize it's not my business, just throwing out some thoughts here.....

By Sunny on Tuesday, January 3, 2006 - 12:29 pm:

Echoing Karen's post, you can raise 5 kids in a 3BR/1BA home! Yes, it's crowded, but doable. :)

I think that you and your DH really need to talk about this more and make sure that it's the right decision for both of you. I would consider this a major life decision and not one I would make without talking about it at length.


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