Hardest thing I have ever had to do
Moms View Message Board: General Discussion Archive: Archive October 2005:
Hardest thing I have ever had to do
I have been working at a wonderful school an hour away from my home. I leave each morning at 7:15 and return home around 6:00 each day. I visit with my family for an hour and a half and then it is bedtime. I have two children (ages 6 and 9). My husband has been wonderful but this has been difficult for him.
I decided to apply on a .45 position here where I live. To my surprise, I received a phone call at 10:30pm tonight and was offered the job. Now, I have to tell my principal tomorrow that I am leaving. I am in tears just thinking about it. The school is wonderful but when I signed on to be a mom I didn't envision only seeing my kids an hour and a half a day.
Any advice?
You have to do what is right for you and your family. I would think that the school would understand that it is kids that come first!
(((hugs)))
Your kids will only be kids once, and you are right, when you signed on to be a Mom, it was with the intention of spending more than 90 minutes a day with your kids. Sometimes we, as Moms, have to make tough and painful choices about our OWN lives so that our families can come first.
You're doing the right thing. One day your kids will be grown and you can concentrate on your career. I know many will probably throw rotten tomatoes at me, but your career comes second at this point in your life - your kids come first. I understand that many families are a two-income household by necessity - MY family was, and then I was a single parent for many years. But given the choice, I would have stayed home with my kids in a heartbeat. In taking a position closer to home, you're doing the best thing for your kids AND for you.
Good luck with your principal. {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
Ditto Karen - your family should always come first. Congratulations on your new job!
Ditto Karen - Good luck.
Your family should always come first. IMO
Congratulations on your new job & congratulations on spending more time with your family. You won't regret it. They are only little once.
I definitely agree with Karen. Spend as much time as you can with those babies. Love them, kiss them, squeeze them, give them as much of your time and love as you can. Being a mom is the most important JOB any mother has.
I know it will be hard to tell the school, but it will be over soon, and you'll have more time with your kiddos. Kudos to you for making a great decision! 
((HUG)) It sounds like the right thing for now. I know it can't be easy, but I hope it feels worthwhile--I think it will. Congratulations.
You are all so supportive but how would you feel if your child's teacher made the decision to up and leave mid-year? Would that bother you?
I'm so proud of you!
What a hard choice to make but you did it.
Can I suggest that you not think about this as to how everyone else is going to feel about your decision? You're doing what's right for you and your family.
I can say I don't think I'd be overly upset if my children's changed teacher's part way through the year. Life happens. Last year my daughter's teacher's mom was sick and she took a whole bunch of time off work to be with her and take care of her. We had different substitute's all the time and it seemed to work out fine. When you leave they'll replace you with another teacher for that class and they'll have them for the rest of the year. Remember sweetie it's only the second month into the school year and actually we were only there for what 3 weeks or so before the strike? It's not like it's the middle of the year yet
(((((((((((((((((((( Paula ))))))))))))))))))))))
Kids grow up way too fast! You need to be spending more time with them! I don't regret the 7 years I spent at home with them, when they were younger!
When my 13yo was in second grade, one of the other 2nd grade teachers died of cancer. She had been sick a long while, though. So, the kids in that class had to get used to a new teacher.
Stuff happens. People get new jobs and have to move, so it wouldn't bother me if the teacher left during the school year.
My 3rd grade teacher bailed mid-year. It was disrupted and we felt abandoned although we never knew why she left. Then we got a *man* teacher and that was distraction enough to forget about being left. A *man* teacher was a HUGE improvement (them being rare and all)!
My son's 2nd grade teacher was fired mid-year, too, and while my son was not bothered by it (since he had been in daycare he knew teachers and students come and go and that's just life) other kids were traumatized. The counselor had weekly group therapy sessions with the class for the rest of the school year to help them adjust and help them understand it wasn't their fault. Maybe your school can offer that.
My kids have had several teachers that have left. It didnt bother them and it didnt phase me either. They got new teachers in place and went on with school... We have had 2 new counselors at one of our elementary schools, one didnt return after leaving mid yr for maternity leave. She fell in love with her baby and stayed home with him. We have been thru 2 PE teachers as well! lol The first one , again, had a baby and decided to stay home with her... There was one teacher that I kept *hoping* would leave, but thats another post!! ROFL
This might be a blessing in disguise for someone else that needs your position at your particular school...
Its really going to be OK!!! I am so glad your new job is going to work so much better for you and your family. YEAH!!!!
My 8th grade daughter started out band this year, with a sub. The teacher who she had last year, got a job closer to home (about 45 minutes away!). We could understand with gas prices and all, but Emily really liked her and was a little sad. Now, that they have hired a new teacher, she likes her just as well now, so all is good. She is still enthusiastically practicing her flute, so I'm assuming she has moved on.
I would tell your students so they understand, first hand, why you are leaving. They're so resilient!
I'm surprised that you can leave mid-year like that...do you not have a contract? I forget what your situation is exactly, but I think you had this dilemna before.
You're making the right decision though...tell us how it went with the principal!
It's kinda odd that I would see this thread. I was actually on both ends of this. First, I was the teacher replacing the teacher that left shortly after the school year started. I also left two years later, after I had my first boy, so that I could be a SAHM.
For the first part, you'd be amazed at how kids easily adapt to change. I was warmly greeted by all, had what I called my one week probation to get things rolling, and everyone was patient while I settled in. The principal, staff, parents, and students were all relieved that I was the permanent replacement, and not another sub. I guess they had 2 weeks worth of subs before I got there. So it worked out.
For the second part, I cried when I had to go back to work for the last 3 days of school after my maternity leave was up. I didn't want to leave my baby. But then, when I was packing up the classroom for the next teacher and saying my goodbyes, I cried again because I didn't want to leave work. I was just a mess. But everyone at school was very supportive and assured me that I was doing the right thing. (I heard all the same things that are written here on momsview! =) ) Now, I've been home for about 2 1/2 years and I don't regret my decision. I'm enjoying them and I'm watching them grow. It's going so fast.
Bottom line, it sounds like your decision is the best.
I would not think it is that big of a deal if my child's teacher left mid year. Because it is not the middle of the year! It is only November. Just be sure to send a note to parents explaining why you are leaving and i am SURE that 90% of the parents will understand and agree with your decision!
Heidi,
I am under contract but I have given 30 days notice. I don't start my new job until November 28. It has been a very rough few days. I haven't stopped crying.
I decided to put my faith in the Lord when I applied on the position and figured He would decide what was best for me. I spent all day yesterday questioning His plan for me. Then today, the guy that we were supposed to buy a house from (we were hoping to move closer to my current position) came up to me at school and informed me that he had an offer he couldn't refuse and he sold his house. I think that was another sign from the Lord that I should look after my family first.
This is all good in theory but my heart is still breaking at the thought of leaving those 20 wonderful kids and having to tell my great parents that I am leaving.
Thanks again for all your support. I spoke to the VP yesterday and she was more understanding than I had thought she would be. She mentioned that they hoped to have my replacement in place the week before I needed to leave so that she/he could shadow me. That will help with the transistion I think.
I will have an opportunity to talk to my parents at parent teacher interviews in November so that will also be helpful.
Well, hopefully those 2 things will make it a bit easier. {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}
|
Members
