Help!! Need tried and true advice on how to make my new schedule work without feeling dead (single mom's and others)
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Help!! Need tried and true advice on how to make my new schedule work without feeling dead (single mom's and others)
For those of you who don't know...I'm a single mom (have been for 3 years) I have 3 little ones.
I started a pre employment program this week and while I love it, I'm not coping well with the new schedule and haven't figured out how the heck to fit in everything I have to do. Cleaning, bills, the shopping...heck even getting enough sleep is a chore .
Any advice?
I've already let go of things like some of the housework and the like...but I'm still feeling dead on my feet. Getting up at 5:30 isn't helping any but I'm going to bed wayyyyyy earlier.
Helpppppppp I'm finding I'm too tired to even enjoy unwinding everyday. 
If you have anyone that can help you like the kids dad (unless he is a jerk) or mom or a friend or anybody take them up on it. Try to organize everything so that you dont waste time looking for what you are supposed to be doing like where are the bills ect. Try to go to a small grocery store, they usually have everything the monster stores do but you wont be in there forever trying to get bread milk and cheese. Realize that while it seems crazy right now, it will calm down once you get the hang of it and when you are done you will have something to show for all the crazyness. Hang in there.
Not that I'm not feeling dead too but some things that help me are:
1. make lunches the night before
2. have my clothes ready the night before
3. plan my meals ahead of time so I'm not arriving home at 6pm and still have to think about what to eat. On those nights it usually ends up being something far from healthy.
4. and I'm not doing this yet...get to bed early
Can you order food online to be delivered on the weekend? Do you like take out food?
Take awhile to get used to a job. Takes me six months to get used to a job and schedule. New jobs are stressfull.
Ditto Paulas. And when I was a single mom with young kids, something I did was when I went to bed at night, or got up on the morning, I'd throw a load of laundry in - something that didn't matter if it sat in the washer or dryer all day or night, like towels or jeans or sheets. That helps free up a little time when you need to be doing other things.
I learned to let the cleaning go when I had to. Another thing you could do, if you are really inclined to put forth the effort, is cook some meals on a weekend to freeze, that way during the week, you pretty much just have to heat them up, and add a vegie or salad to go with, and dinner's done.
It is very overwhelming when you are single parenting, and particularly when there's a change in your *normal* routine or schedule, but it WILL get easier and you will adapt. Give yourself a little time, try to relax, and DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! It will still be there tomorrow.
This is how I've simplified my life, the first couple of weeks were not simple, the logistics were a bit tough. I have 4 kids and work from home, I am married so that helps w/ the flow, but maybe you can take some? And everyone should be getting up at 5 AM, and going to bed earlier IMHO
1. Child Swap: 3 Mommies swap: Monday, Tuesday my little guy goes to their houses, I don't work Friday so they all come over here on Friday
2. Hot Mama's Makin Meals: This is a "program" I developed for us soccer/football/fallball/moms: There are 8 of us, we each choose 2 recipes each month, (this month I did BBQ pork and Tamale Pie) we prepare enough of these two recipes for all 8 families, we meet the first Wed of the month and swap meals, so we come home w/ 16 different meals, which is a month's worth of dinners w/ Sunday dinners being fresh, and leftovers, meals out etc. I know my family will have a dinner every night and all I have to do is crockpot it or bake it etc.
3. house keeper, I know it's an expense, but if you can trade babysitting on the weekends w/ someone or be crafty you may be able to accomplish it.
4. pay all bills online, twice a month.
5. Open my mail only once, this sounds funny, but I started opening letters when I'll respond, (same w/ e-mail), opening bills on "payday" and throwing junk mail away immediately. I get alot of mail and this is a time saver.
6. this has been for years: wake up at 5 AM and sit quietly with myself and a cup of coffee for 10 minutes and slowly start planning my day in quiet. Start bustling a 5:30 and in bed most nights by 9-9:30.
Good luck,and make sure you are eating right too, drinking plenty of water and taking a vitamin Now I sound like a mom
Ditto Paula. I have found enough crock pot recipes for a week, I throw the ingredients in in the morning and come home and it is ready to eat.
Also, I would put more responsibilities on the kids they are old enough to do a lot.
Find yourself a half hour with a cup of coffee and make some lists. List all the things that must be done daily, twice weekly, weekly, every two weeks and monthly on separate sheets of paper. Then make yourself a realistic schedule as to when you think you can accomplish these things - ex. one load of laundry every day in the am, pay bills every other Tuesday while supervising homework or something. If the kids are old enough, then this is the time to assign them things to do.
Routine, multi tasking, and not doing extra stuff are the keys to getting thing to run smoothly.
If you can, build in some time for yourself.
I just want to say that I really admire you. You are trying to do a very hard job (being a mommy) and now trying to better your life and the lives of your children by studying to get a better job. Kudos to you!
Ame
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