First off let me say that I do tend to get my feelings hurt real easly. But heres some things that have happened lately. First, I work in my church's nursery with 2 other ladies, one of whom is pregnant with twins. Usually your Sunday School class would have a baby shower for the couple. Well since we work every Sunday together in the nursery, we don't have a sunday school class to call our own. So the other day, I called the girl that was not pregnant to ask if she would like to help me plan a baby shower for the other lady and she said that she didn't think it was necessary because she had already been to 3 or 4 baby showers for her, given by some people at church. It really hurt my feelings. I don't understand why I wasn't invited to any of them.
Anyway here is the other thing... I am going to be in a wedding (as a brides maid) the end of this month. I am friends with both the bride and groom although I met the bride through the groom. We grew up together and have been friends for over 20 yrs. Last Saturday, I just found out that his family (whom I have known forever) threw a big wedding shower for the both of them and I wasn't invited. You would think that a brides maid would be invited to the wedding shower. Just wanted your input.

By Karen~moderator on Monday, July 25, 2005 - 11:23 pm:

I have to agree - unless it was for family only - and being *big*, it doesn't sound that way to me. I have always thought the maid of honor, best man, groomsmen and bridesmaids were included in pretty much all *pre-wedding* functions. My feelings would definitely be hurt over that.

As for the baby shower - I think my feelings would be hurt there too - if it is, in fact, true that there have been several showers for this girl given by people at your church. If it were me - and it's not - I'd probably have a conversation with at least one of the other persons who gave a shower and tell her that since you work closely with her, you would have appreciated being included in the shower. It almost sounds like it's one of those catty/cliquey situations going on, and that makes me ill.

I'm sorry you have been left out of things that I feel you should have been included in. I can't do anything to help your hurt feelings, but I can give you {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}.

By Tink on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 12:50 am:

I would have had my feelings hurt, too, in both situations. I'm so sorry that you were left out of both showers!

By Feona on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 07:06 am:

I think you should assume all parties were small affairs or miscommunication about you being invited and leave it at that.

I definitely don't think anyone was thinking lets hurt her feelings. You are a bridesmaid and that is quite an honor.

The family threw the shower so maybe there was miscommunication. Same with the baby showers.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 08:52 am:

I would let the baby shower slide, but to not be invited to a bridal shower when you are a bridesmaid - I think that is inexcusable, unless it was a very narrowly targeted shower (like, people she went to college with, or people in her gym class - you get the idea). But, I don't know that you would gain anything by talking about it.

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 09:08 am:

I don't think you're being overly sensitive. I would be very hurt by both incidences. I also agree with Ginny though about not talking about it. Unfortunately I think you just have to be hurt and go on, and probably not get any answers about why you weren't invited. Sorry!

By Juli4 on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 09:19 am:

I have felt the same way before. my dh was an associate pastor at a small church and a girl was getting married and someone asked why I didn't go to the shower and turns out no one invited me or told me about it. I was hurt. It was a very clique crowd. It may have been just overlooked. You are justified in being hurt. The people giving the showers may not have kinown you as well or something. You never know. I am sorry that you feel hurt. I would also think that bridesmaids would be invited, but I don't know.

By Jann on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 09:50 am:

Are you sure you are getting your mail? That's just odd about the wedding shower. Have you asked the bride about?

By Kaye on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 09:56 am:

I understand being hurt about both, but you have to go with it probably was just an oversight. In the midst of hectic times we forget people and don't do so to be mean, it just happens (I didn't get a picture with my hubby and my parents at my wedding because I forgot to list it...really I didn't do it on purpose). Another thought is your invites really might have been lost in the mail, that happens too. Try not to take it personally.

By Babysitbarb on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 10:09 am:

I don't blame you for feeling hurt and left out either. I definately don't understand why you weren't invited to the wedding shower being a bridesmaid and all.

By Jtsmom on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 11:45 am:

I haven't asked the bride yet. I am not good at all when it comes to speaking up for myself. The groom came over today to cut my grass for me and I just said in passing that I didn't know anything about the shower. And he didn't even comment. So I let it go. Oh well.

By Mommmie on Tuesday, July 26, 2005 - 04:12 pm:

My feelings would be hurt in both situations.