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DD is leaving :(

Moms View Message Board: General Discussion Archive: Archive June 2005: DD is leaving :(
By Janet on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 03:15 pm:

My older dd (15) is going to her dad's for four weeks tomorrow... I am always so sad when she leaves! :( My other dd (10) will be on her own during the day while she's gone. We live in a really small town with a pool, and already she's been riding her bike there to be with friends, which I'm OK with, but I'm also concerned about all the time alone at home she'll spend. Any ideas for activities that don't involve computer or TV? I was rarely bored during the summer as a kid her age, but isn't it amazing how they need to be entertained these days! (BTW, I'm only three blocks from home, and dh also works in town, so she's not totally fending for herself).

By Yjja123 on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 04:04 pm:

Are you saying your 10 year will be alone all day without a baby-sitter?
Your daughter must be very mature for 10! I cannot imagine leaving mine alone for a few minutes much less a day. Of course, I do not live in a small town either so that makes a huge difference too.
Does your town have activities she can sign up for (swimming lessons, boys/girls club/ tennis camp)?
Is she interested in arts and crafts? There are lots of project kits you can buy. Target has some great ones.
Does she like to read? Maybe you can do a mother/daughter book club.
What are her interests?

By Missmudd on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 04:48 pm:

Check with the library, they usually have some sort of summer program.

By Janet on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 04:58 pm:

Never mind

By Cybermommyx4 on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 06:28 pm:

I spent a lot of time at home alone as a child, and I read a LOT of books. The only thing I can think of in your situation would be to find a friend (an older girl, maybe) that could spend time with her while you're out (maybe a 13-year-old who doesn't have a *real* job yet)....or maybe your DD could be a "mother's helper" for someone in the neighborhood, and that way she wouldn't be lonely, and could make a few dollars pocket money at the same time. What does your DD think about being alone? When I was little, I loved it - but I was an only child. My own kids would hate it... My 9 and 8 year old DSs are so inseperable they won't do ANYTHING alone (which isn't always good, either).

By Juli4 on Friday, June 10, 2005 - 07:43 pm:

I was very responsible when I was ten and my parents left me alone for different periods of time all the time. By the time I was 13 they left me home alone for a weekend while they went away a few hours away. I was a good kid though and did exactly what they said and even had the house clean when they got home. She will find stuff to do. I am sure just working a few minutes away you all can check in with eachother when you want and such. I don't see a problem with it. When I was ten I would have swam,talked on the phone, watched tv, do any other hobbies I had. If she rides her bike places then I can't see her getting too bored, but then she may. Well that is all I have to offer.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 12:58 am:

Well, my 13yo is going to have to live without her sister, for the next week or so, since Sarah is going on her mission trip tomorrow! She is good at keeping herself busy. I don't work that many hours next week, so we will be busy gardening, I hope!

By Mommmie on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 04:09 pm:

I don't think 10 is too young to stay home alone. Very common here. Does she have any summer school work to do? (My son has to read two books for 5th grade over the summer.)

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 04:22 pm:

My parents left me home alone, when I was 10. I started leaving Sarah alone, when she was 11. Now, they are 15 and 13, so i don't worry about it.

By Melanie on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 04:29 pm:

(((HUGS))) I hope the time passes quickly for you. I know you dread this trip each year. :(

By Boxzgrl on Saturday, June 11, 2005 - 07:46 pm:

Awww... she will probably enjoy spending some quality time with her Dad, though. She'll be back before you know it so just enjoy yourself in the meantime. I was home alone at 10 years old taking care of a 13 year old (yes my older, yet very immature brother), 5 year old sister *and* 1 year old brother. I was very grown up at a young age.

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 09:56 am:

Janet, I know this makes you sad every year at this time.

Are there any local activities she can be involved in? The pool thing is good, but she probably needs something else too. I know you live in a small town, is the library within biking distance? What hours do you work - if you can get her involved in something structure, would you be able to drop her off before work?

That age is tough. I think the arts and crafts idea is a good one - something creative. What type of group activites are offered in your town?

By Janet on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 05:26 pm:

I've just now gotten back to a computer and I want to begin by apologizing for my snotty tone.. I was rude and I'm sorry. :(
Yes, I get really sad when older dd leaves, and this situation has made me a bit emotional. Younger dd is very responsible, but I've felt torn about her spending so much time alone. Not because I think she'll get into trouble, but because I know she'll sit in front of the TV all day if she could! The girls I've had come over in the past years are now old enough to have lives, and I really am not close to any younger ones. Yes, the library is a good idea. Ours is open a few hours each day, and just up the street (everything in our town is just up the street!) I go home for lunch, so that'll be a nice break, and dh comes home from work before I do. I've been leaving notes with things to do (like dust or clean the cat box, etc), so that'll also give her some activity...

Thank you for your comments... I'm again sorry for my thoughtless response.

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 06:22 pm:

Don't worry, you were upset, it happens. I wish I had some suggestions for you.

By Annie2 on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 06:29 pm:

I received two free planners from a luncheon I attended. I gave them to my 9 year old and 11 year. They have scheduled their days into them. Together they have cleaned out their entire rooms and organized everything.
You might try this with your dd. Maybe get her a white board for the refridgerator.

Have her break down her days by time slots. Breakfast, morning chore, art time, lunch with you, tv/rest time, pool time, reading time, etc.

A whole, unplanned day may be daunting to to a ten year old and she may also put off doing something, thinking that she has "later" to do it. This would also limit her tv time.

Maybe buy her a paint by number set, beading set, pot holder making kit, etc. Get her one where she won't be able to finish the project in one sitting and will look forward to her next session the following days to complete it.

If she likes getting on the computer, my kids like the Tycoon series where they have to build schools, amusement parks, malls, etc. They can't do this in one sitting, (unless they are on it for hours!! LOL). This might be something she can schedule into her time blocks.

I hope this helps! :)

By Pamt on Sunday, June 12, 2005 - 11:29 pm:

Janet, I kow this is a hard time for you each summer. No other ideas for your other DD than what has been mentioned above. Hope the time flies by (((Janet)))

By Janet on Monday, June 13, 2005 - 04:03 pm:

Annie, I really like that idea! I wonder if she'd follow it. It's worth a try..thanks!


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