I have stayed at home with Katie since she was born (8.5 months ago). We have survived thus far on dh income alone. We had to move to where he has a job (Manassas, VA) and it is SO EXPENSIVE to live here..if we lived in a NORMAL place, we'd be fine, but living near DC it is astronomical. I need to go and get a job. We had less than a dollar to our names after bills this month! No lie! We have cut back as much as we can..no credit cards, 1 car payment, eat really cheap food, you name it. We never go out and eat or buy things unless they are a true NEED not a WANT. OK, I am a nurse and thought I could work midnite shifts to avoid daycare and the huge expense of that which would eat most of my check. Problem is my husband travels alot for his job and I have NO ONE to watch the baby when he is out of town. No job will hire me on this kind of schedule. I have scoured the medical facilities for weekend only work (where I am originally from, it is easy to come by)..well, no one hires weekends only! I just do not know what to do. We can't even afford to pay attention, let alone move. Dh is sick with MS, so he is limited in what he can do and our insurance has gone up literally 100% starting next check. UGH!!!
If any one has any ideas, please post them. I thought of taking in babysitting, but our place is 800 sq. feet and not in a great area for kids to play outside and all. I have looked for evening work in other venues, but again, the traveling deal is a problem...I am trying hard to avoid daycare, my dd is a bit devlopmentally slow to do things and requires extra attention, which I do not think she would get in a typical daycare. Soprry to vent like this, but I am at my wits end that I can't even think straight.

By Boxzgrl on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 11:06 am:

I think daycare would be a great start. My house is only about 1100 sq. ft. and i'm just starting to watch 2 little boys during the week which will bring in about $800/mo. Maybe post a few signs, put an ad on craigslist (thats what I did and had a response within 12 hours). Some people are desperate for childcare and when you run it out of your house, it's a lot cheaper than an actual daycare and more people seem to like that. It's not about how much room you have, but what you can do with that room. We do a lot of crafty activities and wander around outside and at the park. Just thought i'd throw that out there for you.

By Juli4 on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 11:27 am:

Being a nurse can bring in a good income, but I agree you don't want half of it eaten with daycare. Why don't you register with a couple of agencies and work when you can. The pay is more and the work not always reliable but you say you get canceled from one agency you just call the other and try to get work there. I know a lot of nurses who do that and there is always a need for nurses. OR you can look at hospitals that have a float pool. Where you float around the hospital accordig to the needs and that schedule is usually pretty flexible.
Or you can bite it and put him in daycare or find a babysitter that can watch him for a few evenings a week or something. even if it took half of your paycheck you would be bringing in more than you are now. Or sell your car and buy a $2500 economy used car and that will free up a couple hundred a month.

By Trina~moderator on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 11:44 am:

Would it be possible to move to an area where the cost of living is lower but within commuting distance to your DH's job?

By Reds9298 on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 12:00 pm:

I was also going to recommend babystiting out of your home. People are in such desparate need of childcare and you could take as many or as few kids as you wanted.

By Cat on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 12:06 pm:

I've been a family child care provider for over five years now. I know the cost of living there is outrageous. We lived on Andrews AFB for two years. As you said, if you go back to work the cost of daycare would eat half your paycheck. SO, if you take in one or two children to watch, you'd make what you did if you work outside of the home. I understand your place is small, so I wouldn't take more than two. If you could get a child your dd's age (which would be hard because you'd have two under one) or a little older, it may help her with her delays. Or you could watch a couple older kids before and after school. You'd still have the day free, but still be making something. Remember, there are also home based businesses, like Discovery Toys, Avon, Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, Home Interior, etc. You really set your own schedule with those things, and could still get out of the house while your dh is home. Or like Trina said, would it be possible to move a little further out and let your dh commute a littler further? I know you'll find something. The right job is out there for you. Good luck and hang in there!

By Colette on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 12:09 pm:

Try calling an answering service. They LOVE to have people work the midnight/weekend shifts.

By Tunnia on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 12:22 pm:

Here are a few things I thought of--

*A weekend only babysitting service so that busy parents can go grocery shopping, have a date night, etc? You could go to their house or they could come to yours.

*Find a babysitting co-op in your area or work out a co-op deal with a friend or potential co-worker if you find a job before you find a co-op.

*Home Health Care on the weekends. I know that they have weekend only home health care people here because I have a friend in the business.

Clean houses or offices on the weekends when your dh is home to watch your little one. I cleaned a small office building on the weekends when I was in high school. It took me three hours and I earned $125. This was over 15 years ago so I'm sure the price has gone up by now.

HTH and good luck to you!

By Yjja123 on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 12:26 pm:

Traveling nurse. There are many agencies here that hire "traveling nurses" basically they can work at various hospitals. YOU make your schedule not them.

By Mommmie on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 12:58 pm:

If it were me, I'd get a regular 9-5 nursing job (dr's office?) and put your child in daycare. Being around other kids might help the developmental delays. You'd be full time and get benefits which will help with your insurance cost. You'll already be established in a job should DH's MS get to the point he can't work and even if you brought home half a paycheck due to daycare costs you'll still have half a paycheck and benefits.

Don't let the fear of daycare scare you off. My son thrived in daycare and he has 9 dx's. Many hospitals have very high quality on-site child care, too.

By Tonya on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 01:26 pm:

I agree with Mommie. Take the FT job and put your child in daycare if you find one that you really like they can benefit from it 100%. Like she said 1/2 a paycheck every week is more extra than you have coming in now. And health insurance through a hospital or Dr's office is usually really good. It could cut back on what you are paying out for your DH then you will have more money in pocket. It the long run it sounds like that is all that you can do right now.

By Hlgmom on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 01:34 pm:

There are a lot of telemarketing jobs...not the most fun but it would bring in something! I agree with you that he might not get the attention needed in a daycare setting, however taking on one or two kids could definetely give him some encouragement. I don't think space has to be an issue- just create a safe environment with plenty for them to do! Best of luck- we are still on the constant reaarange cycle to make it work with just one salary- But it is worth it! We got rid of all non essential bills, cable, eating out, cell phones, etc!

By Hdelfuego on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 01:45 pm:

What about working PRN? I know my dh is an OT and he makes a lot more working PRN than at his full time job. People are always wanting time off especially with the summer coming up. I would definitely do something in nursing if you ever want to go back full time so that your license doesn't expire. Put your name on hospital and dr. office PRN list. I'm sure you would get plenty of calls and if you couldn't go for some reason just say so. I'm sure you know this but PRN means as needed.

By Katiesmommy on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 02:03 pm:

Thank you all for your input. I will think long and hard about watching 2 kids. I have been told people don't pay sometimes and it can be hard to get your income out of them..late for p/u, that type of thing. As for the prn nursing, I have thought of that as well as home health. I will check into those things. I am just so frightened of daycare..the turnover (as seen in the paper here) is awful for all the centers and Katie is so strict with her schedule, I worry that she won't be treated as well as she is at home. Not to mention getting sick all of the time. As for moving to another area, its all expensive here...and if we moved an hour away, my dh is worried about his driving at night (he lost his eyesight and depth perception with the MS). Thanks again.
Amy

By Jann on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 02:18 pm:

Day care doesn't necessarily mean a center. There are people to watch your child in their home just like you are considering. I vote for working full time also and getting full benefits. Your husband's medical situation calls for it, imho.

By Mommmie on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 02:35 pm:

My son's daycare was in a Methodist church. It was wonderful with very little teacher turnover (higher pay and they got health insurance). The kids turned over more than the teachers actually. The teacher/child ratio was way below state's maximum. You just have to look around. I looked at several before finding the one my son went to. (He's 10 now and wants to go by there and visit with everyone. He really enjoyed his time there.)

By Missmudd on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 03:25 pm:

Is it possible for dh to stay home and take care of little one? I dont know what he makes vrs you but if he cut down to part time, stop travelling and was able to take care of dk and you work full time would that work? I know that if you were working full time in nursing that the benefits are probably better than offered at dh's job unless he is in medical too.

By Kym on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 03:52 pm:

Can your dh negotiate his pay since cost of living is so high? Is this a current move? If so he should have some leverage with the company. I own my own business from my home and my employees are all women who want to work limited hours, around family obligations, we just sit down and figure out when they can work and I let them work, so maybe check with your chamber of commerce for some "grassroots" businesses, or businesses people are working from their home, call them and let them know you situation, you'd be suprised by some arrangements women are working now.

Good Luck

By Kaleighsmommy on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 04:27 pm:

Have you ever thought about being a school nurse? A lot of schools here have onsite day care facilities for school employees and the tuition is minimal. Just an idea

By Mrsheidi on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 05:15 pm:

Sorry to hear, honey...that's SO tough!
Maybe look for a nanny job and commute to someone else's house while you have your little one with you?

By Meltonmom on Tuesday, March 22, 2005 - 09:59 am:

Hi.
Just a couple of thoughts.

When I worked daycare, mostly Kinder Care, lots of Mommys worked centers. That way, Mommy is on staff where little one goes to school. This can be a great compromise if SAHM idea isn't working because Mommy can see the child and knows the child's teacher. AND *PS* you, with your nursing background, could get a daycare job in no time. The downside is that the pay is low but if you get in with a church daycare or one of the franchises (be careful about which one) you can get some good benefits, for example, five years ago when I worked at Kinder Care, any employee who worked 20 hours or more was considered full time and was entitled to benefits of a fulltimer.

Also, when my Aunt was going through a difficult time financially and her husband was in the service, she took a job as a live in Nanny for a very high income family in Atlanta. She really enjoyed it. You mentioned the high costs of living. My Aunt's living expenses were all paid and her toddler just went in on the playdates of the kids she kept. The employers even supplied her with a car and gas. And there was an understanding that when her DH (my Uncle) got leave, he would stay in the home with her. Eventually, he finished his term and they bought their own house. But my Aunt was a live in Nanny for two years and she loved the job. The downside to that one was that there were, at times, discipline issues (Nanny said no, Mommy said yes) and at times she was asked to do things "after hours" ("I am running late, I know it is late, but could you pick up the kids?") etc. But overall, it was a good situation for her. Just some ideas. Good luck to you. MM

By Marg on Tuesday, March 22, 2005 - 11:12 am:

Did not read all the ideas, but have you thought about working in nursing homes or mental hospitals. Health care facilities that send nurses to people's homes, hospice, etc.

We live an hour north of DC and I know hospitals, nursing homes, mental facilities, etc. Will bend over backwards for people and their shifts. There are even hiring bonuses, huge ones.

Just don't limit yourself to hospitals, what about nurses at school districts, private schools, etc?

Go on the internet and download classified ads from local newspapers, tv stations and hiring agencies, I'll bet you'll find something in no time!

By Nicki on Tuesday, March 22, 2005 - 01:19 pm:

These are such great suggestions...I wish I had one to offer. I hope you are able to figure something out. I understand your concern about daycare. I am fortunate enough to stay home with my daughter. I know there are good ones out there, but having worked in several years ago, I know the good ones are hard to come by. (Just my opinion, though). I think I could only consider putting Lara in one if I myself could work at the same facility, as MM suggested.

I am also looking for something just to help pay the bills, so this is such a great thread. Tracy, you mentioned cleaning an office building. I have always thought that would be a good way to make some extra money. May I ask, did you find this type of job through a cleaning agency? Just wondering how to find such a position. Thank you very much.

Best of luck to you. I sure hope things will work out for you.
Nicki

By Nicki on Tuesday, March 22, 2005 - 01:26 pm:

I apologize, I typed Tracy, but meant Stacy (Tunnia). Doing this with wiggly toddler on my lap...

By Tunnia on Tuesday, March 22, 2005 - 03:11 pm:

I actually found it through my father. He worked for the company and he told me they were looking for someone and I went in and talked to the owner of the company and he gave me the job. That probably doesn't help you out much does it? Sorry about that! Oh, and don't worry about the "Tracy" People call me that all the time and I don't even bat an eye.

By Dandjmom on Tuesday, March 22, 2005 - 03:33 pm:

Amy, I totally understand what you are saying. I live in Washington, D.C. but I think I have it a little better. I mean Virginia alone is an expensive place to live and then your in one of the most expensive areas Manassas. I thought that once they got rid of the car tax that would be a difference to a lot of people. I only wish you luck in finding something if thats what you really have to do.I hope things get better for you. Take care.

By Nicki on Wednesday, March 23, 2005 - 11:50 am:

Thank you, Stacy. I appreciate your reply!
Nicki