Please tell me if I am getting mad over nothing. I live in a duplex and the people next to us have a little boy about 10 years old. He is really starting to aggrivate me and I don't really know how to handle it, we have never had neighbors that were any trouble. 1st me and the girls go for walks alot during the week and on the weekends to have quality time together (they ride their power wheels Jeep and I walk along side of them). We started our walk and the boy got out his bike and rode with us, he just stared at my girls and then would "cut them off" with his bike almost hitting their little jeep. Katelyn would brake and then go on when he got ahead...not very nice in my opinion. Okay today was the 2nd time he is really starting to bug me, I look outside and it had snowed a little and most of the snow was just what was on my car, and he is SCRAPING the snow off of my car.....UUUGGHHH, that was the only snow I was going to have for my girls to play with. I told him not to do that and he says, I'm just getting the snow off..no one is home on his side today. And When they first moved in I had to call the landlord because they were up til like 1 and we had to get up in the morning, and they were being loud laughing and having a good ol time. please help, what should I do, am I overacting?

By Kate on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 11:40 am:

Well I don't think you're over-reacting. Obviousy this kid is dying for attention and no one seems to be taking care of him, but still it's not YOUR job to do it. Now many will say you should take this opportunity to befriend him and be the one adult who cares and changes his life, etc. And that WOULD be a great thing to do. But you asked if you are over-reacting and I am simply going to answer...NO! It's annoying when all you want to do is be the best mommy in the world to your own children and the children of not so great mommies put a kink in those plans! You could tell him when he's allowed over to play and maybe that would help...if he knew he was welcome at SOME point he might leave you alone the rest of the time. Good luck!

By Colette on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 11:40 am:

Is he home alone? At 10?

By My2cuties on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 12:19 pm:

yes home alone at 10, and once my other neighbor seen him and his sister kissing (real kissing)in the front yard..obviously there are issues in that family and I do not want my children to be a part of it, it's just weird.

By My2cuties on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 01:49 pm:

now it sounds like a herd of elephants playing tag next door (school closed for the 1/8th of an inch of snow we got..ugh!)...I will be soooo glad when we finally get our house..

By Alberobello on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 02:11 pm:

Candis, i agree that you are not overreacting, however you could talk to the boy and say something like "it would be nice to have you around to play but you will have to play nicely bacause my girls are only little" tell him when you are available and tell him off if he doesn't listen to you. Kate said it right that you may be the only adult around him that cares and is responsible. That doesn't mean that YOU have to take care of him, that's not your job but he might just feel comfortable being around you and your girls because he sees you care. When i was little i spend a lot of the time on my own because my dad left when i was 5 and my mum had to go out to work all the time. i remember going to friends houses and feelig really safe in some of them but i knew they were not mine so was happy to go home when my mum came back from work. If this child is a litle bit ignored he will go where they give him a bit of attention, may it be positive or negative (now i sound like a child psichologist!). What i want to say is give this boy a chance, but talk to his parents first if you can and tell them exactly what is expected of him but mainly talk to him because being 10 i am sure he will understand and try to be nice. You don't have to take him into your house but if you meet him in street tell him, we want to play with you but you have to promise to be nice!

I don't know, i am sure you'll get better advice. But do no let other people ruin your day, talk to them, put the cards over the table (without being rude), you were there before them, weren't you? so talk to them, both parents and child. You don't have tobe patronising but be firm and make them respect you (i am also refering to the noise you mentioned when they first moved in). Just one more thing, I just wanted to say that i now that i am older i really appreciate the families that had me over their houses when i was little and home alone, and i am sooo glad they were good people. And i turned out ok!

Good luck, and tell us how it went!

Maria

By Kaye on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 02:12 pm:

Maybe somewhere in the middle. I have a 9 year old boy, he is loud, he makes some bad choice and I really have to keep on him and remind him. I can see with no parents how it coudl get out of hand. What I would appreciate as a parent (and what this boy needs) is for you to call him on his behavior. When he is on his bike instead of getting mad (remember you are the adult here), say hey, that is really rude. It is not nice to pick on them like that. You are welcome to ride along beside us, but you have to be nice. chances are he won't stay, but if he does and he does it again tell him, I asked you already to stop, please leave now, we don't want you by us. He will leave. As far as the snow, I think overreacting. Probably shouldn't touch other peoples cars, but he is just a kid and wanted snow, he didn't think about your kids. Kids will be kids, so you have to give them some grace, but because they are kids you also just can't expect them to know how to behave. Communicate with him, he is old enough to understand, and certainly seems like he needs the parenting.

As for him and his sister...yuck! But you don't know the whole story and you didn't see it, try to not let it cloud your thoughts too much. But I agree distance is good!

By My2cuties on Thursday, February 10, 2005 - 03:26 pm:

Kaye you are right, I appreciate your honesty. I need to be more of a "open to other people's kids" type of person. I asked because I am a young mother still, and I have my problems dealing with other people's children (especially older children that I think should know better). One day my kids will be 10 (O lord I hope momsview is still here!!) and I will expect them to have respect of people's property, not touching people's cars, play stuff, etc.

I don't think bad of them because I did not see what happened that day in the yard, but I am concerned about my kids playing outside with them because of that, so I watch them carefully that is all.

I am not going to go out of my way to talk to him about this, but if it happens again I will just nicely tell him to not be so mean to my girls, and we can all get along, Thanks all, I feel better about things now. I have had alot on my plate lately with the whole bed rest thing and I agree I probably did overreact on the whole snow thing, it's not like he was using a knife to get it off...inhale ...exhale, thanks for being there girls.