This pregnancy is kicking my butt! I think it's more the emotional aspect, than the physical. I find myself stressing over EVERYTHING! We haven't even started on the baby's room. This house is sooo disorganized. It would take us until May to get everything in order. I've been really hatefull to my DH lately. He's so good about it, I just feel bad he has to put up with it. I worry that I'm not going to be able to handle 2, when it seems like i can barely handle Kolby some days. I'm stressed about the whole nursing thing(didn't do it with my first). I'm trying sooo hard to enjoy this pregnancy, I know it will be my last. It's just hard sometimes! Ok, I'm done rambling. LOL Thanks for reading!

By My2cuties on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 02:20 pm:

I am so sorry you are having a rough time. ((hugs)) Things will get better. Just try and relax, I thought I was going to lose it with my 2nd for the first few weeks then everything just kind of fell into place. I feel way more confident in this pregnancy, but still stressing out a little, we are going to be moving soon maybe even before the baby gets here, if DH gets his way. keep your head up, pregnancy is about being emotional and such so don't feel bad.

Did you say you were having a girl this time?

By Kolbysmom on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 02:29 pm:

Thanks Candis. Yeah, we're having a girl this time! At least that's what the ultra sound tech said! lol I sure hope she's right, everything we've bought so far(clothes-wise)is either pink or purple!

By Palmbchprincess on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 03:17 pm:

Hang in there! Pregnancy is hard, but having a small child while pregnant makes it much harder. Just try to relax, and remember everything will be OK!

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 03:20 pm:

Nikki, as hard as it sounds, please, try to relax and just take things one day at a time. I understand your stressing over the things that are not done, but what's the worst that will happen? The baby's room isn't totally complete when she is born? Disappointing for YOU, but she won't know the difference. And if she has to bunk in the bedroom with you and DH, *that* will surely motivate him to get it finished.

When I had Jeff (my first), my 2 oldest kids (my X's kids by his first marriage) had come to live with us. We had NO nursery for me to decorate. We had no choice but to put the baby in the room with us. I really felt cheated in that regard.

When Jen came along, I had to put her in the same bedroom with Jeff, who was 15 months old at the time she was born. My point is, as much as you want to get that special room completed, it won't be the end of the world if it's not done by then.

Yes, it is a challenge dealing with a newborn and another young child. Just take some deep breaths, relax, know that you are doing the best you can do.

I've learned over the past 2 decades that, even though it drove me nuts that the house seemed to constantly be in a state of disorganization, the decor in the bedrooms didn't *match*, the laundry was never caught up, all those things are very minor and relatively unimportant in the grand scheme of things. What counts is the time you have with your kids/family and what you make of that time.

Please, give yourself a break and try to enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy, and your DS while he's young. The rest of it will always be there, but your kids are only babies, only young for a very short period of time.

If you don't mind an unsolicited opinion, I think you're worrying too much about the fact that this is your last. And I'm saying that because *I* did the same thing. Try not to keep thinking of that because it's probably adding to your stress and emotions.

And I DO understand you stressing about the nursing part of it. That's normal. If you are apprehensive about breastfeeding when you deliver, the maternity floor nurses should be able to help you getting the hang of it. Some hospitals have a nurse who deals only with mothers new to breastfeeding. Another source I found EXTREMELY helpful with Jeff was The LaLeche League. Check your local phonebook, or online. Make contact now with them. I had a wonderful experience with them - Jeff was *injured* at birth due to being stuck face up inside me. He was in the NICU for a week, couldn't suck, was tube fed. They brought me an electric breast pump so I could get my milk in and they fed him my breast milk in the tube feeding until he was able to start nursing. The women were so helpful. I was stressing heavily over that. When you are stressed, your milk won't let down, the baby senses your stress, the baby is fussy.

As far as handling 2 kids, try to make Kolby part of caring for his baby sister. Let him do things, like bring you diapers, or blankets. Help him to hold her and burp her or stuff like that. If you encourage him to be a part of it and make him feel like he has an important job, that he is NEEDED, it will likely make things easier for you and he won't feel so much jealousy when he has to share your time with this new little creature. He will probably understand better when Mommy has to spend time taking care of the baby and he has to wait 15 minutes for you to read to him, or play with him.

And accept any help your family/friends offer in the beginning. Let them bring meals, help with laundry, help with Kolby. It gives you a break, you can have some *you* time to sleep or shower, or spend with DH or DS.

Try to take it all in stride. I'm willing to bet that everything works out just fine for you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

By Missmudd on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 03:46 pm:

I couldnt add anything more to the above posts. I know it is super stressful, you will pull through. GL and be sure to keep us posted on how things are going.

By Kaye on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 04:56 pm:

breathe, relax. It will be okay and this is normal. It is hard to adjust to two kids. It is also the most wonderful experience. When you have two kids you don't divide your love, it multiplies. You will really be happier if you can really focus on the joys of your children instead of the work. The work will be there, the little things come and go so fast. So my first advice is start a gratitude journal. Grab a spiral and write down 3 things every day that made you happy. It is amazing at how doing this can help refocus you on the positives.

On nursing, I nursed my third child after unsuccessfully doing so with child one and bottle only with child two. What really helped me was knowledge. I took a class, I found friends who nursed, I called the la leche people (and they are a little odd sometimes, but well intentioned *S*) and a great booked called "so that's what the're for" It really helped me get a handle on why I chose nursing and what it really meant for me. I am very goal oriented, so to set a plan out helped. The book says don't look to far in the future. People fail at breastfeeding all the time, but the reason that happens is really lack of knowlegde and help. I think it quoted statistics were less that 1% of women are physically unable to do so. The other 99% are. It can be hard work, but it is well worth it. This book had a whole list of reasons why you should bf. Anyway, worth looking at.

By Karen~moderator on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 06:11 pm:

Kaye, you're right about the LaLeche League. Some of them are *over zealous*, however, since they are such strong believers in breastfeeding, they can really help a first time mother/nursing mom.

By Dana on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 06:33 pm:

I'm right there with you, sweety! I've been moping around all day barely to get the motivation to even pee....can you imagine, 37+ wks and not even wanting to get up to pee?

Today is such a downer, just right out of the blue. Yesterday was pretty good.

Like you, I have really wanted to enjoy this pregnancy, but it just never happened. I've been feeling miserable physically or depressed for 95% of the time.

I was stressing big time last week over the undone laundry. Had my mom and aunt come over and they tackled it for me. I was still doing it after they left, but at least they got me past that overwhelming part. Dinner is really difficult for me to even think about. DH is lucky I got around to cooking tonight. It's been weeks since I've even had the desire to do the grocery store. I just keep putting it off. DH finally went the other night (I think this is his 4th big shopping trip for me). DH made dinner last night and the night before.

And don't even ask about poor DD. I'm doing good to sit down and review her required homework each night. I have a stack of "Please review and sign" work from papers done at school that she needs help with. I have no idea how many nights she has gone to bed w/out a bath. Even her teeth have been a low priority for me (something I feel very strongly about doing each day). And one day, I even sent her to school in the very same clothes she wore the day before because I let her fall asleep in them.

I just hope it gets better when after the birth.

By Emdee on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 06:51 pm:

I am right along with Dana; 37 weeks and counting! I have dealt with preterm issues the whole pregnancy, and now, when she is healthy enough to be born she is being stubborn--quite frustrating. All I wanted to add was use the support out there for nursing. With my dd, I obviously didn't have a clue what I was doing and missed the breastfeeding class that DH and I signed up for (I went into labor preterm and was in the hospital on bedrest!), so I thought I was really going to have a difficult time--mainly I just didn't feel prepared. However, the nurses were great! They had one nurse that specialized in breastfeeding (I think she was a lactaction expert/consultant) and, although I had to get used to someone I didn't know holding my breast and sticking it into the baby's mouth, she helped a great deal. If you can't get a breastfeeding class scheduled ahead of time, I would definitely ask the hospital if they have any lactation experts/consultants on staff that are there to help after delivery. And, like everyone else said, try not to stress about getting everything done! It seems like for every day that I haven't wanted to do a thing, I also have had days lately that I want to get everything done! Call it the nesting instinct, I guess, but that has been the only thing saving me from not having anything done. But like the others said--you can still bring home a newborn even if those things aren't done. Good luck with it all!

By Breann on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 07:50 pm:

((((Kolbysmom))))))

By Heaventree on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 09:41 pm:

I hear Ya! I'm only 6 weeks pregnant and feeling tired and blue, the only thing that keeps me smiling is my ds. Today I dropped a opened jar of applesauce all over the inside of the fridge, and I dropped a box of cornstarch off the topshelf of the pantry. Ever try to clean up cornstarch? I think the vacuum cleaner died. It just stopped in the middle of the clean-up. My cat walked through the cornstarch and now I have little white putty-paws all over the place. I hope it gets better. What is it with pregnancy and dropping things?

Anyway try not too stress too much about the nursing, try to find a good book so you know what to do right from the start in the hospital. It can be a bit scary, they do have lactation specialists that you can hire to come into the hospital and help you if you need one, I wish I would have done that the first time, it took us awhile but we got the hang of it within a week. It can be frustrating and hard work, but the closeness you feel with your little one is worth the effort.

((((HUGS)))) - Keep us posted.

By Hlgmom on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 10:56 pm:

As far as the nursing goes- you can also hire a postpartum doula! They are great for breastfeeding- La Leche is definetely a great source!!!

By Kolbysmom on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 08:39 am:

Thanks for the advice! I realize, in the grand scheme of things, I'm being a little unrealistic.

It's sort of silly for me worring about the baby's room. I already know she will be in our room until she outgrows the bassinet.

I just hope I didn't sound ungrateful. I am really excited about the baby. We had tried for 11 months to get pregnant, with one miscarriage. I do feel blessed to have the opportunity to have another child. I know everything in the end will fall into place. I guess I just needed someone to tell me to chill!!!

By Hollydollyc on Wednesday, January 26, 2005 - 10:54 am:

I think everything will work out. I remember crying at the hospital after having my 2 baby because my first was only 13 months old. I thought for sure the older child would kill the 2nd. But it worked out great and they are best friends! Also I was unable to nurse my first-she just wouldnt do it, alot of frustration and tears for both of us until I finally gave up and went with the bottle and both of us were fine with it. My second had absolutely no problems breastfeeding! She was a little expert and it was quite easy. Now I am expecting #3 in a couple of weeks and I thought #2 would be the last. So my advice on that is to keep your baby stuff for a while until you are absolutely sure it is the last! We had to buy all new stuff and I still dont have everything yet I need. But I'm not too worried because the baby doesnt need as much as you think! Alot of it is just conveniences. Hang in there! You will do great!