I need help... trying to lost but not having any luck.
Moms View Message Board: Let's Get Fit! (Weight Loss Support Group): I need help... trying to lost but not having any luck.
Okay for the past few months I have been pretty much out of luck when it comes to losing weight and excercise. I know that I have had surgery and everything but I have a release from the dr to do whatever I am comfortable with.
I have tried many diets and haven't had much sucess with any. I am trying to stick to weight watchers right now but having a really hard time with it since I have been extremely careful about what I eat and not going over my points and for that matter forcing myself to eat all my points (I am just not that hungry) and I am not losing weight at all.
I know I need to exercise and I am trying to fix that but it doesn't seem that there is enough time in the day for all of it. I get up and go to work, then get home about 6-6:30 and have to fix dinner.. Eat about 7. By the time dinner is over it is almost 8 and I am trying to clean up the kitchen and spend quality time with the girls who go to bed Jordan at 9 and Alexis at 10. During the school year I also have to deal with homework.. Then I have about an hour maybe to spend with DH before I am falling asleep. Oh and don't forget all the other house work that has to be squeazed in there too.. Oh and I only get about 7 hrs of sleep a night as it is ...
I am more frustrated than I know what to do.. I read and try to find something that will help and I think I have tried everything imagiable. I am going in for a physical next week so maybe they will suggest something new to do.. I find different things and they say taht for someone my weight that if i eat a 2000 cal diet i should lose weight.. well it doesn't work.. I eat really healthy and try not to snack on junk very often.
I cry almost daily about my weight and when DH tries to help I really get upset with him... he tells me to cut out my snacks and I am like okay but then I don't get all my points in for WW and I keep getting told i need to eat all my points, which i have never eaten this much.. well not since I was playing sports in high school.
I really just want to have a way to get rid of all this and I get more and more upset when i really try (for months not just a week) and have no results.. I don't gain, I just can't lose anything.
I don't know what to do anymore. I really need help and last time i tried to talk to a dr about this he told me to quit whining about it and just lose the weight. I am trying.. i have been on WW since the middle of Jan and I did take a 3 week break when I had surgery but I didn't gain anything then and I have lost a total of 10 lbs.. in 7 months.. that is only an average of .4 lbs a week.. oh yeah.. I lost those 10 lbs in the first 2 weeks that I was on WW..I have gone back and forth with losing .5 or gaining it back every week since then.. and I am not doing anything different than I was the first week except eating a few points less to see if that would help..
I really can't take much more of this.. My GYN told me a few months ago that I should just have the lapband procedure and I seriously thought about it but guess what my crappy insurance won't pay for it and well I can't dish out that kind of money. She even said that she would write a note that it was needed because I have some hormone problems because of my weight.
Oh yeah and did I say that before I started hurting so bad I tried working out at a gym with a personal trainer for a month and still didn't lose any weight? Yes one of my best friends is a personal trainer and was going with me for free because he knows how upset I am about this. We were going to work out between dinner and bedtime, I know not the best time but I can't get up any earlier than I do now.. and if i did I definately wouldn't have a trainer. We are starting to go again but it is slow right now because I am still sore at times from my surgery or something.
Okay if you got this far you might guess that I feel hopeless and pitiful right now and just want any advice anyone has. I need to lose at least 100 lbs and I can't get it to come off..
Please any advice is welcome with a lot of thanks..
((((HUGS))))) I'm frustrated too, my body makes me cry. I know you say you aren't losing weight but do you measure yourself? Last summer I lost 20 pounds (gained it all back) and I noticed inches coming off before the pounds. It sounds like you are under a lot of stress. For me stress shows up since I am an emotional eater. My sister in law has about 200 pounds to lose,she's on ww, she has lost 50 so far. She is allowed about 40 points a day. She lost weight rapidly when she was doing the points and they were healthy foods, her weight has stayed the same for 6 weeks now eating within the points but it's whatever she wants like donuts. She plans on doing the healthy eating again. I think of doing weight watchers, I wonder if it would work since I need to avoid gluten. ((((HUGS))))
First of all, lots and lots of hugs. It really sounds like you're discouraged, down in the dumps, frustrated, and don't see a way to reach your goals. The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath. You CAN do this!!! Believe in yourself! That's a HUGE step. Here's something I posted on another board (Fitness and Health on iVillage).
We're learning a lot in our metabolism makeover class and I thought I'd share a bit. This is something I have to work on, too.  Here are some thoughts on last night's class.
How's your "self-talk"? Are you a positive self-talker/thinker? Do you think to yourself, *I can do this!*? Do you say "WHEN I reach my goal..."? Or are you a negative self-talker? Do you think, *I can't* or *I've never succeeded before and I won't think time either*? Do you say, "IF I reach my goal..."? Sometimes we are motivated and doing great, so we talk ourselves up. Sometimes we aren't so motivated and we aren't doing so well and we end up talking ourselves down. That's when we set ourselves up to fail. We sabotage ourselves. We end up in a vicious little cycle of negative self-talk, then failing (or perceived failing/not seeing progress) so we go back to the negative self-talk (I can't do this-I'll never loose the weight-I'll always be fat, etc) and then we fail again. I was in a training once (anger management in children) and took part in a little experiment. I went up in front of about 50 people with the instructor. She had me raise my arms so they were straight out to my sides (like a lower case /t/) say out loud "I am a bad person" 5 times. She then told me to try and not let her push my arms down. She didn't have much trouble getting my arms down to my sides. Then, she told me to say out loud "I am a good person" 5 times. She again told me not to let her push my arms down. She had a much harder time getting my arms to my sides. She asked me if I really thought I was a bad person and I told her no. The point of the exercise is that even though something is not true, if we're told--even by ourselves, something often enough we're going to believe it! I like what we learn when we go to child abuse training. If you verbally abuse a child and tell them they're stupid or no good enough times, they're going to live up to that expectation.
SO, are we using negative self-talk and then living up to our own expectations??? Or can we change our ways and use positive self-talk and live up to the positive expectations? Post notes if you have to. "I'm going to reach my goals today!" "I WILL be thin, one step at a time!" "I CAN DO THIS!!!" Put them where you're going to see them! Put your goals along side them. Read them out loud every morning. Post here. Ask for support. Be specific. Tell your spouse/partner/children/coworkers "I'm doing this and I need help from you. Please don't bring donuts home/to work!" lol We're all worthy and we're all worthy of reaching our goals. It's not "If". It's "When"! We CAN ALL do this!!!
Weight Watchers is great. I tried it for a while and found I lost about 5 or 6 pounds in a couple weeks. But like with any restrictive diet I couldn't stick with it and all that weight found it's way back to me and brought friends to boot! lol The class I'm in that I mentioned above has been awesome. I couldn't tell you what I weigh right now because I haven't stepped on a scale in over a month (part of the agreement in our class). I can tell you however, that I feel better, my clothes are looser and I have TONS more energy. I eat every 2 1/2-3 hours and I probably get about 1800-2000 calories a day. I'm honestly never hungry! I focus on healthy foods. I avoid as much processed foods as I can. I'm checking labels (and driving dh nuts! lol). I snack on things like almonds, yogurt (sometimes with granola), trail mix, whole wheat crackers and lots of fruits and veggies. There's SO much more, but it'd take me forever to post it all right now. If you're interested I'll try and post a little bit at a time. Let me know.
We're here for you, Tara. You too, Rayelle! Remember, set small, obtainable goals. They're easier to reach and you'll see tangible progress more often. More hugs (to both of you!).
Thank you both for the kind words. I was having a little pity party last night and today is a new day and I have a much better outlook. I talked to DH last night and told him that instead of telling me not to do things in a mean way to try being nice and saying things in a better way to not make me angry.
I am going to do this and keep track of everything I do until I go to the dr next wednesday so he can figure out if I am doing something wrong.
I have set a new goal not a weight but a size one to meet by labor day and I will go from there.
DH and I are going to start working out tonight with my friend the personal trainer to set up a routine that I can do and will help.
Thanks for all the info Cat I am normaly an extremely positive thinker and I think that is the key to doing this.
I am going to stick with WW and just turn this around a little. I am going to eat a lot healthier and not just stick to my points since I have so many. I am going to stick with as few prepackaged foods as possible to cut out the crap and also to keep the salt intake down I like I am retaining water right now too.
Cat, I would love to hear more about your class and what you are doing. I know I need more energy and to change my metabolism but I don't know how.
Again thank you both for your support and I am doing this and it is going to work.
Tarable - if my doctor told me to stop whining, I would change doctors. That is appalling and inexcusable. And less than no help.
Ginny- I have changed which dr i go to in the practice since he told me to quit whining. I don't see him anymore.
(((Tara))) I had the same problem with WW, I felt like it consumed all of my time, I was CONSTANTLY worrying about points, calculating, tracking, etc... and not losing weight. This was really disappointing to me because I know so many women who had a wonderful WW experience, but mine was nothing like that. So, the advice you've gotten here is wonderful, and I don't have anything to add, I just wanted you to know you are not alone! We're here whenever you need support, I am not very active in this board currently, but I do always check it out, so post away!!
HUGS!!!! I think you have gotten some great advice. I completely agree with Cat about having a positive attitude. Some things I want to add, set small goals, big ones can be very overwhelming. I lost a little over 60 lbs several years ago. I set 3 month goals. Also, keeping a food journal is very helpful, and can be very enlightning. Hang in there!! We are here to support you, and cheer you on.
Look into the HCG diet. It is on YouTube and on other places on the internet. It is radical but it DOES work. Just look into it.
Good Luck
Do you drink a lot of diet soda/pop? If you do you might want to google and do some reading.
Here is just one link I found.
Artificial Sweeteners Linked To Weight Gain
I was watching a program tonight about a woman that was over weight on BBC. The nutrisionalist told her that her consumption of diet soda, pop, or Fizzy as they call it over there, was causing her to be heavy. Apparently caffeine causes issues with your (cortisol) stress hormone level. This then alerts the body to increase its energy stores, which may result in food cravings, especially sweets. A lot of people will consume an artificially sweetened snack or drink another diet soda to fill that craving for sweets. The above article (there are more out on the world wide web) describe the effects of artificial sweetener and the fact that they appear to actually cause weight gain in some people.
It was just a thought, if you are consuming a zero calorie drink you would assume no problem, but apparently there just might be a problem.
I also wanted to add that I know it is hard to find the time to exercise. With school being out, and my boys at home, I was finding it hard to fit in my workouts. We have now made them a family thing. We have a no TV, computer, or video game rule after dinner. It is really hot here now, so after dinner when it cools down a little we have been going to the park. Dh and I walk, and the boys ride their bikes, or we all ride bikes. We do something active as a family. Maybe you can do something like this, even if it is just 3-4 days a week. We do this 4-5 days a week. It is great exercise, and great family time!
Can you walk, at work, on your lunch breaks? I know several people that do this. My mom works in a hospital and she walks the stairwell with several other people. I have another friend that works in a huge store, she takes off her vest and walks the store. At DS school there were a group of teachers that walked the hall on their lunch break. Do you work near a grocery store, mall, somewhere air conditioned? Where you could go in and walk? Park farther from the building you work at. I read some where that if we parked further from the places we visit we cold rack up more steps in a day.
My DH and I are going to start slowly at night (probably about 9 or so) walking and see how that goes..
I would love to walk at work and there is a group that goes twice a day but they are NUTS right now.. it is 90+ by the time they are walking at 10 in the morning and at 2 it can be well over 100.. I don't deal with heat at all.. that is part of my hormone problems I have what anyone else would call hot flashes but am definately not menopausal.. So until it cools down (October or so) I can't do it at work.
DH is definately ready to help me in any way he can so we are working things out this weekend.
And I don't drink but maybe 3 diet sodas a week at the most.. I try to drink only water and lots of it..
I have a much better attitde than I did the other day.
Thank you all for your support and I am sure I will be back for more..
I have also set a small goal to happen by Labor day... to go down a size in jeans.. (the ones am in right now are a little big but the next size down is a little too tight and not comfortable)
You sound like you're in a much better place than you were last week, Tara. Awesome! Your goal is great and very achievable. I'll take a look at my papers from the metabolism makeover class and get some things together to post. It's a 12 week class that we've condensed to 6 weeks, so I'll have to break it up. WAY to much info for one post! lol I'll try and get started this afternoon.
Update... I have a really positive attitude right now and am sticking to my diet well. I am exercising more than before but not as much as I would like (things have been crazy around my house this week). But I went in for my physical today (the second part) and my dr said that he wanted me to go on thyroid meds because my thyroid was low (his words) and this could be causing me a huge issue with losing weight. I have thought this for a VERY long time and have asked him a few times over the past 3 years to check and he always said it was in the normal range but barely and he didn't think that was a problem. When I told him that I was on a diet and hadn't lost anything in a while he said that this was probably the problem.
I am so excited about this making the difference that I need to meet all my goals. But mostly becoming healthy again! The only thing that was bad on my physical was my thyroid everything else was great! He said he couldn't complain about anything but my weight and well i told him I do enough complaining about that he didn't need to!
Thanks for all of y'alls support!
I hope it helps, Tara. I asked about my thyroid last time I had a physical. Unfortunately mine's working fine! lol Good luck.
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