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I could really use some help!!

Moms View Message Board: Let's Get Fit! (Weight Loss Support Group): I could really use some help!!
By Stacey on Thursday, July 5, 2007 - 08:27 pm:

Just a little bit of history...I am 28 yrs old and have a 4yr old ds. He has NOTHING to do with my weight gain. Nothing at all. After I had him, I got back down to my pre prego weight and even beyond it. But then I separated from my husband (which by the way we are together again) but, after we separated even tho I was the one who left him. I began my addiction with food. Now mind you I have never had a weight issue my whole life. I have always been average. So, this past year I don't know what came over me, but I just ate and ate and ate and gained 30 lbs. I am 5'4 and weigh 157 lbs. I had joined ww over a year ago and ended up loosing about ten lbs. I kept most of it off and gained about 2-3 back. Now I don't know much about what goes on on this thread, but Im just looking for some support. I really think I have a binge eating problem. I can shovel down some food. My ultimate goal is to get down to my pre-wedding weight which is 124, but even 135 will bring me to my pre-prego weight. I talk to some of my friends who are very much overweight and it seems like they really don't understand. They say how would you like to be me and weight this much. But, it's not about how much I have to loose, it's about getting healthy and stopping the binging. I wake up thinking about food and go to bed thinking about food. I have NEVER had a eating problem during my childhood nor teenage years. I could just use someone that can understand me and is maybe going thru something similar. I am at a really great point in my ex and I are together again and our family finally together again. My husband has never seen me this heavy (with the exception of me being pregnant )and for the first time in my life I am actually very insecure with my body. I hate it! I feel so out of control and I want to get in control again. Plese help! I would love to hear anyone's advice or opinions. Thanks so much!

By Tsa on Sunday, July 8, 2007 - 02:40 am:

I hear you, Stacey. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I will post more at a better hour. Good luck today.

By Stacey on Sunday, July 8, 2007 - 05:12 pm:

Thanks Tsa!

By Musicmom on Sunday, July 8, 2007 - 09:42 pm:

Stacey, although I have to admit I get in that binge mode myself and struggle with it too, when I worked at an inpatient eating disorder place, I learned that when you eat and food is being focused on more than just to sustain life, you are eating your feelings. Same thing with your body. When you start beating yourself up about your body, there is more going on that needs to be dealt with and you are taking it out on your body. I would suggest, and me too, I've been awful lately, journaling may be a way for you to honor your feelings. I just to sing or play the piano, but of course eating is faster and you can do it while your doing something else. That's just my 2 cents and take it for what it's worth as I know it but have yet to interalize it for myself.

I know that when I have taken control and used much of God's help to do it, I am hard to live with for about 3 weeks while I change my habits and then I do great. I just made the mistake of giving myself permission to comfort eat when my grandpa died in Jan and haven't been able to get control again.

It is possible and you can do it!!! We are all hear to root you on and will support you anyway we can. These ladies are great!!!!

By Imamommyx4 on Monday, July 9, 2007 - 01:12 pm:

It's like anything. Something has to trigger the real desire to change. I have always been heavy. But since I had dd 6 years ago, I have gained weight past the point that I now weigh 30 lbs more than I did the day I delivered her. What got me was about 3 weeks ago, the dr weighed me and it scared me absolutely to death. And I was having some other health issues and seeing all sorts of specialists. One dr wanted to do allergy testing and I was sitting and talking to the nurse about all the things I could not take or eat or drink in the next 7 days. And in the conversation we were talking about processed sugars and how they attack your immune system and decrease its ability to fight infection. A light bulb went off in my fuzzy little head. I really ought to be smarter than this and know better, but I didn't want to. I was drinking 1 or 2 sugar and caffeine loaded Sundrops and 2 Mickey D's sweet teas a day along with numerous candy bars or cookies or donuts every day. Why? Because they made me "feel better." But only for a little while.

That was my trigger. 5'10 and 248 lbs and sugar was causing so many of my problems. I dropped most of my junk food. One sugared, caffeine drink in the morning and I drink mostly water the rest of the day. Maybe a little juice or a diet citrus green tea. I watch what I eat. When I get a craving for something sweet, an orange is very tasty. If I get a craving for chocolate, I eat frozen chocolate yogurt instead. At least I get a little dairy in there instead of straight sugar. And portions are modest. I've lost 3 lbs over the past 3 weeks. And I've begun to walk a little. I am feeling so much better about myself.

I wish I could help more. But I know from my own struggles with my weight, it is something that has to start within. Whether it's your own dissatisfaction with the way you look, wanting your health better, getting scared to death like me, it's something that has to trigger within yourself. And unless your dh has a weight problem also and you are trying to do it together, do NOT get dh to be your encourager. My dh means well and wants to help, but no matter how he says or what he says, it hurts my feelings. I finally just told him to not say anything unless he could honestly say that I looked pretty or something like that.

By Stacey on Monday, July 9, 2007 - 04:35 pm:

I have never had a weight problem up until this past year and half. I have always had much confidence in myself. Always had boyfriends and friends. Still have lots of friends, but no more boyfiends. Husband, which does not struggle with weight. He always says I look great, but he will mention at times how great I looked when we first got married and even a couple of years after. We talk about how I used to get up in the morning and run on my treadmill and then after work go to the gym and work out. I went from one extreme to another. I do not exercise, I have joined 2 gyms since I have gained all the weight and do not go. It's my own fault!

And like you were saying Debbie, somthing has to trigger me to change. I totally agree with that! I just haven't had a real motivator as of yet.

By Debbie on Monday, July 9, 2007 - 05:23 pm:

I strongly recommend the Bob Greene's book The Best Life Diet. It focuses on gradual changes to help you loose weight. It also focuses on exercise. It is not a strict diet, but a true lifstyle change. Because he has you make small changes at a time, it is very easy to follow. It really helped me get going when I was yo-yoing with my eating and exercise.

I know that when I used to "go on diets" I would obsess about food. Once I made up my mind about a certain plan...going low carb, cutting fat, etc. I would feel deprived, and constatly think about what I couldn't have.

I got The Best Life Diet book at Target for about $15.00. There is also a jounal that you can buy to go with it. It definitley helped me reach my weight loss goals.

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