Natalie is 2 1/2 and potty trained VERY EASILY about 2 weeks before her second birthday. It was a breeze to say the least. She's been going strong ever since until maybe a month ago? I'm not sure.

We are getting very irritated with the accidents. EVERY time she has to pee, she wets her panties enough that they have to be changed. Silver dollar size pee marks, sometimes more, sometimes enough that her pants have to be changed, too. In the last week, she has also had 3 incidences of full-out accidents - total release of her entire bladder - without a second thought. We just find it, she doesn't say a word. It's not like she's trying to get there and can't. On those 3 occasions she didn't even try.

When we ask her why she "leaks" so much before going potty, she always replies with "Because I was watching Little People,playing with my blocks, playing kitchen..." whatever she was doing at the time. We've explained to her a million times that we can stop all those activities and resume them again after she goes to the bathroom. This is a smart kid and she's with it. She knows that already.

From the minute she was potty trained, the child literally has had no accidents. I never put a pull-up on her when we were out other than the first week. She would tell me she had to go and had no problem holding it until we got there. I was pretty amazed and of course happy that she had the control. What has happened, I have no idea.

Here's the kicker - If we are in a public place or at someone else's house, NO ACCIDENTS OF ANY KIND. We can be on the grocery side of Walmart, she tells me she has to pee, we trudge all the way to the other side where the bathroom is, NO ACCIDENTS.

We started a sticker chart maybe 10days ago for 'no accidents'. We used stickers when we potty trained and she loved it so I thought we would go back. She doesn't seem to care and we ended up dumping that idea. It was going nowhere. We spent the first weeks this began talking about it, trying to figure it out. Then praising the heck out of her on the rare time she doesn't piddle, then the stickers, and we've even scolded her a few times, although we're not really wanting to do that but feel at a loss.

I just don't get it. Pooping is not an issue. We've also noticed that she NEVER pees down her leg when she's running around naked (which she loves to do). That's the other occasion when there are no accidents - being naked.

Thoughts, experiences, suggestions? It's VERY frustrating. I expected relapses at some point, but not 7 months in (she trained in June) and for this long.

FYI:For anyone who might remember baginal irritation with her before, that problem has been solved. We switched to Dreft and got rid of fabric softener and she hasn't had one problem or redness since then.

TIA

By Reds9298 on Thursday, January 25, 2007 - 09:37 pm:

BTW, when she gets on the potty, she then finishes. The wetting in her panties isn't the full deal, just a start. She NEVER did this before a month or so ago. I would expect this early in potty training, but again, we're 7mths in and training was a BREEZE.

By Amecmom on Thursday, January 25, 2007 - 09:37 pm:

I feel for you. For a few weeks I would try and "remind" her to go potty every two hours or so. This way, she does not have to remember to stop in the middle of her play. At her age she is really engrossed in imagination and may not get the signals her body is giving her until it's too late. Just try asking her every so often, or taking her to the potty every few hours until she regulated herself again.
You've won the battle! This is just a minor set back.
Ame

By Nicki on Thursday, January 25, 2007 - 10:25 pm:

Deanna, Lara trained early and went through much the same. We'd get a step forward then two back. I understand the frustration. I tried to be really low key about the whole thing even though I wasn't feeling that way inside! Same thing with Lara, she didn't want to stop playing. She's still like this, only now she can hold it so much longer! I mean, I can't believe how long she will wiggle, lol. And, like Natalie, she wouldn't "leak" when out on errands. When it would happen at home she would tell me and I wouldn't say much. I just got a towel for the floor and one for her. She dried herself while I cleaned up. New pair of pants and we just went on. I would on occasion encourage her to "listen to her body". And I told her not to feel badly, she is still learning a new thing and it takes some time. I am happy to report she hardly ever has an accident now. It's so nice. It's been this way for about eight months. When she was Natalie's age, it didn't seem to bother her that she had accidents. Yet, when she was closer to three, it started to embarrass her. So, I think this really helped her get to the bathroom faster.
No real advice, just hang in there. I really think it has to do with age, and even six months can make such a difference!
Oh, and Lara did the same...never went when she was naked, but put panties on her and it would happen. Almost made me wonder if she likened it to wearing a diaper?

By Tink on Friday, January 26, 2007 - 02:17 am:

I really agree with Ame. I would start setting a timer to go off every two hours and tell her that she has to try EVERY time. A bit of "retraining" and it might make getting to the potty in time more important to her. I'd stress that she has to go when the timer beeps so that she doesn't have any accidents and when she stops having accidents, she won't have to stop playing with Little People, building with blocks, etc. when the timer beeps and go potty. The other option is to do a "reverse sticker chart" and put 5 stickers on the chart and take one off for each accident. Then she can have a special story or gummy bear or whatever your reward is for each sticker that's left at the end of the day. That way she sees the removal of something instead of the invisible sticker that she could earn with a traditional chart.

By Kaye on Friday, January 26, 2007 - 07:21 am:

honestly though, this is very very normal. I think I read somewhere at some point that over two thirds of all kids have relapses in potty training. 2 of my 3 did. The suggestions above are great. Hang in there

By Vicki on Friday, January 26, 2007 - 01:54 pm:

Dd did the same thing. Others might not agree with this, but if she was too busy playing that she wouldn't stop and go potty, I took the toy she was playing with away from her for the day. If she was playing babies and didn't stop for 2 minutes to go to the bathroom, I took the babies and put them away and told her she could get them back the next day. I told her she could either take a 2 minute break to go potty, or she could loose the toy for the day. I think I took 2 toys away. Ended it really quick!

By Tripletmom on Friday, January 26, 2007 - 02:42 pm:

Ditto Vicki-We did the exact same thing and it didn't last long.

By Karen~admin on Friday, January 26, 2007 - 03:38 pm:

Ditto Kaye. And it's not at ALL uncommon at that age to not want to stop playing or whatever to go to the potty.

By Reds9298 on Friday, January 26, 2007 - 04:06 pm:

Thank you ladies! I knew that it was common to have relapses, but I didn't think it would last this long I guess.
Vicki- DH and I have discussed taking the toy away and we very well might. I don't see a thing wrong with it.

We also talked about doing the reminders every couple of hours and seeing where that takes us. Maybe it will get her back in the groove, but I'm not so sure. I think she gets so involved (like you all mentioned) and I really think she needs a "wake-up call" so-to-speak. Taking the toy away might be just what she needs.

She got into this habit a few weeks ago of jumping off the pot before being wiped and running around the house. We told her several times no way to with no change. The last time she did it she got poop all over the pot and I was livid. I calmly (somehow) walked to the Little People bucket (her pride and joy) and put it in the "closet". She hasn't jumped off since. I sincerely wonder about doing the same with this issue. It would be a tough lesson to learn.


I'm glad to hear you've all been there. As usual, thanks for the advice!

By Reds9298 on Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 07:21 pm:

GRRRRRRR.....We've been taking toys away since yesterday afternoon. Every time. She either completely wets her pants or we find it at potty time and she tells us "why" she didn't go. She DOESN'T CARE about the toys!!! She cries for like 30 seconds and then she goes and finds something else to play with. It's frustrating!!!

I guess all I can do is set the timer and see if that works. I don't know what else to do!

By Reds9298 on Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 07:39 pm:

What's the most frustrating is that she doesn't seem to care in the least.

By Tripletmom on Sunday, January 28, 2007 - 09:37 pm:

I think the timer will help!!!! I also think you have to find something that REALLY matters to her.With Katie it always had something to do with books LOL Natalie is a VERY smart girl,it might just be a power trip on her part.((HUGS))Can you suggest to her that she help you put away all her pretty underwear until she's a bigger girl.Does she have any favorite underwear,I know Katie loved her princess ones,maybe suggest that too many pees means too many washings and they'll get ruined.I don't know what to tell ya......we've all been there,it does get better though

By Vicki on Monday, January 29, 2007 - 08:16 am:

Yikes, I agree about finding something that DOES matter to her. Dd hated her toy being taken away!! I am not sure how I feel about the timer thing. She knows how to go, she is choosing not to.

By Reds9298 on Monday, January 29, 2007 - 08:38 am:

Vicki - I know! I can't believe she didn't care that much! I thought she would be devastated about the toys. My problem with the timer also is that she's never going on her own, which she KNOWS how to do. It's not like she's forgotten.

Spent a good part of the day yesterday at G'Ma & G'Pa's house...no accidents at all. GRRR. I have to find something that she really likes, either to take away or to reward her with. For reward though, I can't think of a time recently that she's initiated going and not had an accident, so it seems there's never a chance to reward her, you know? When I'm taking her just as preventive maintenance I praise her for having dry panties, but that's not really the point. Just trying to get some praise in.

I'm not sure what else I can take away from her except her toys! She got her toys out of the closet this morning and seemed so excited. SHE reminded me why they were there and I reminded her that it would happen again if she didn't stop what she was doing to go potty. She gets it for sure. Argh.

By Amecmom on Monday, January 29, 2007 - 10:55 am:

Hugs Deanna. I think it has become a power struggle. As hard as it is, just back off. She's showing her independence. When she has an accident, just clean it up, no emotion. Stop asking her if she has to go potty. You may just be able to diffuse it.
Don't show her you are upset.

I know it's hard. Not looking forward to this with Helen ...
Ame

By Tink on Monday, January 29, 2007 - 10:59 am:

Ditto Ame. Bella did this after about 6 months of being fully trained. In hindsight, I wish I would have just been as unemotional about it as possible but I completely let it get to me. Her's started with a bladder infection but lasted about 3 months after being completely over the UTI. We yelled, took toys away, ran our lives according to the timer and even swatted her a couple of times. None of that made any difference and just served to raise my blood pressure to the boiling point. If you really think this is just a power struggle, I'd back off as much as possible. This is one battle that I really don't think you can win.

By Debbie on Monday, January 29, 2007 - 12:15 pm:

Ditto, the others about the power struggle. It is very common at this age. And, from your posts you mention she is strong willed, which means she is a perfect candidate for power struggles. BTDT. I would suggest having a talk with her about what is expected, she is to use the potty, and then try and let it go. I know easier said then done. If she has an accident, just reinforce that you expect her to use the potty, and say nothing else. Try not to show any emotion, and then praise her when she does go on her own.

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 - 09:36 pm:

There's been a change of attitude all the way around I think, so this might be related. She did tell me a few times today when she had to go, and she didn't make it, but there was much less in her panties and one time only a spot that I would have missed if I wasn't looking for it. We praised her like crazy, and she seemed excited to get her dollhouse back today.

I think there's a lot to be said for ignoring/downplaying it, although it will be hard for me! I've probably been getting way too upset with her about it, but her attitude about it is worse than the accidents. It's like I can see behind the eyes "oh she's mad again..oh well..heard that before." I definitely don't want it to be that way, but it's turned into that.

You all have very good advice and I appreciate it!