My 9 yr old has midterms for the first time this year and it has been "heck" in our household. She has been giving me such a hard time about studying and at times refusing to study. She is very strong-willed. The only subject I am worried about is science. I told her that if she continues not to study that she will suffer the consequences. What should I do? I am honestly fed up and think I should let her learn the hard way.

By Crystal915 on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 06:18 pm:

Midterms at NINE? WTH? I didn't start having midterms and finals until middle school, at least age 11. Anyway, I would set up consequences for not studying, and allow her to make her decisions. If she makes an effort to study, perhaps you could help her make it more fun, as incentive.

By Trina~moderator on Wednesday, January 18, 2006 - 08:39 pm:

I'm with Crystal. Midterms at 9?! I'm a former elementary school teacher and have never heard of such a thing. My son is in Gr. 4 - no mid terms, thank goodness!

My kids (7 & 9) don't have to study for mid terms, but they do need to study for quizzes and tests and have homework. I find they give me a hard time when the subject matter is challenging for them. That's when I have to step back and approach things differently. Instead of stomping on them to make them study I try to ease their fears by walking them through exercises and reviewing material before encouraging them to study on their own. Most times this works and sometimes it doesn't. LOL! Sometimes they just need to blow off steam first before settling down to the books. Sometimes just acknowledging their feelings of frustration help. My 7 yr. old is strong willed, and there are times when I have to stand back and let her do things her own way and suffer the consequences. It's not easy, but she often has to learn things the hard way. Better now than in high school, right?! LOL!

Good luck!

By Kiki on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 09:21 am:

She's in private school and in the fourth grade. This school is very academically driven. I do try to help her by doing study sheets with her. I would make up tests for her which she really loves. I also would have her study a little each night. I guess she is feeling a little overwhelmed. I know I do. I just wish she wouldn't have to learn things the hard way.

Thanks for the advice ladies. At least the comforting thing about being strong willed is that she won't let anyone walk all over her later on in life. lol!

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 09:33 am:

Oh Kiki, I can so relate to your last comment! Although DD's strong will can be very frustrating at times, it is a comfort to know that no one will ever make her do something she doesn't want to do! Boys and peer pressure definitely come to mind. LOL!

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, January 19, 2006 - 11:40 am:

My high school junior is done with her exams, at 11:20pm today. She will be happy. She and her friends are walking to McDonald's after school to celebrate. She wasn't very stressed about them, though.

My 8th grade daughter had one final, since she has algebra. It really is the high school course and taught like the high school course. They just don't get high school credit for it. It just means they can start high school, with geometry, if they have good enough scores in algebra.

4th grade does seem early to be putting that much pressure on them.

By Kiki on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 06:48 pm:

I also agree that 4th grade is early but at least she's getting a better education than if I were to put her in the public school system where I live. A child got stabbed in the middle school here just because of the way he looked. That just terrifies me.

By Dawnk777 on Friday, January 20, 2006 - 09:14 pm:

Wow, Kiki, that is scary. My second child is a semester away from being finished with middle school and there have been no incidents like that, here.

By Karen~moderator on Saturday, January 21, 2006 - 12:28 pm:

How did the week go?

By Kiki on Saturday, January 21, 2006 - 04:30 pm:

Thanks for asking Karen. The week went well. She was out sick on Thursday with a fever but was able to go back in on Friday. She only has to make up the science test on Monday. From what she told me, the exams went well. We are going out to dinner to celebrate her big accomplishment.

By Karen~moderator on Sunday, January 22, 2006 - 06:20 pm:

^5 to your DD!