My oldest dd is 8yo and in 3rd grade. She chose to bring home the book "Blubber" by Judy Blume to read for a report at school. It's been years since I read this book but I don't remember it being appropriate for a girl her age. I have never censored what she can read but I'm just not comfortable with her reading this and I'm not sure how to explain why I would like her to wait until she's older. Any suggestions or am I overreacting?

By Kate on Friday, November 4, 2005 - 06:50 pm:

I do think she's too young for it. If you read the Amazon reviews on it they say it's not for eight year olds, either. They worry the kids won't see that the behavior is wrong, but that they might find it amusing and emulate it in their own lives.

I would just tell her you're sorry but that's a book for when she's twelve or whatever age you decide on. And if she says her teacher approved it or all her friends have read it, just say that while that may all be true, the fact remains that for HER, it's not an appropriate book, just like she can't read 'War and Peace' or 'Gone With the Wind' right now. Certain books at certain ages. Period.

Good luck! With the exception of the Fudge books by Blume, her books can be pretty controversial. I hope she doesn't find 'Forever' on the library shelves and bring it home to you!!

By Kernkate on Friday, November 4, 2005 - 07:04 pm:

I am surprised they still have this book in school. I know it was banned from many schools. I myself would not want my DD to read it at age 8.
Go with your gut feeling if you are not comfortable with her reading it at her age, I would just talk to her about it as Kate said.

By Emily7 on Friday, November 4, 2005 - 07:14 pm:

Wow! I grew up reading Judy Blume books, what is so controversial about them? I think we have gotten a little ban happy on books!

By Tink on Friday, November 4, 2005 - 07:40 pm:

I read almost all of the Blume books but I was much older, maybe 12 or 13. I think many of them deal with some sexuality and some tougher "teen" topics, not what my eight year old needs to know. I wouldn't ban these books but I don't want to try to explain masturbation to my dd at this point. My dd's teacher read the Fudge books to them so I think she recognized the author and chose this book. I will send it back with her tomorrow and ask her to change her choice. Kate, I really like the way you worded the explanation. Thanks, ladies! I'm glad to know that I'm not being overprotective.

By Melanie on Friday, November 4, 2005 - 07:46 pm:

It's been a long time since I read this one, so I went to Amazon to read what they said about it. This wasn't one that dealt with sexuality. It dealt with severe bullying at school. I don't know that I would have my 8 year old read it. She is probably too young to truly *get* the message of the book.

By Emily7 on Friday, November 4, 2005 - 08:10 pm:

I didn't mean that the book was age appropriate for an 8 year old, I just get upset with all the books that get banned. Just as it is Cori's choice to let her daughter read this book, it should be up to all parents as to what their child reads...not a committee. Sorry I didn't state that.

By Kaye on Friday, November 4, 2005 - 10:49 pm:

My opinion is different. I loved that book as a child and read it at the same age. It made me realize who was being bullies and to recognize that was not okay. I always read way ahead of my age (i read jane eyre in 5th grade). Except for a handful of things I let my kids read what they want. (mind you i am the tv nazi...lol). Anyway, I feel like they only understand what they are old enough to understand. Also I have felt like it is one area that I have opened up as more free and my kids really needed that. We discuss all their books, and I have read most of what they are reading and it makes for great conversation starters. I don't like the Harry Potter books, I have told them why and that I felt like they needed to be older to read them, but this was strictly religious reasons. My dd just read the sisterhood of the traveling pants, I didn't love that it had sex in it, but it did make for a great conversation. I am learning that no matter how much I try to shelter her, it isn't working. She got back from her school dance (6th grade). Girls and Boys had dates and they policed the front door, if you left you did NOT get back in. I am already hearing stories about friends and who is doing what. Very sad.

By Coopaveryben on Saturday, November 5, 2005 - 12:42 am:

I remember reading this book in the 3rd or 4th grade and I loved it, I remember how I felt after I read it and it made me feel powerful..to stand up to bullies. That's pretty silly but that is what I remember about it. But if you don't feel comfortable with it I wouldn't let her read it.

By Colette on Saturday, November 5, 2005 - 06:49 am:

I read all of the Judy Blume books and I remember they were for the most part for older kids. I'd read it, or skim it before I'd let my 8yr old read it.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, November 5, 2005 - 09:16 am:

My mom never censored our books. I did read all the Judy Blume books, but can't remember how old I was! I know that's not very helpful. I know I enjoyed reading all the Judy Blume books, though.

By Feona on Saturday, November 5, 2005 - 05:57 pm:

I sort of agree with Dawn. I read anything. I read Judy Blume as soon as the library let me. They were in the pre teen section.

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, November 5, 2005 - 08:16 pm:

My mom was a librarian and pretty much knew what we reading anyway. As a librarian, she didn't believe in book censorship.

By Unschoolmom on Sunday, November 6, 2005 - 07:41 am:

I think a pretty easy solution is to sit down with you daughter and read it with her. It's not the inappropriateness of a book that's the problem, it's when parents and/or teachers fail to provide a way to talk about it and a comfortable context to understand it. In other words, leave the kids on their own.

My daughter has seen and read some stuff I'm sure many would label inappropriate but I've been there with her to anwer questions and there's never been a problem around it.

Just be there with her. Read it with her and take the opportunity to address and discuss things you might not otherwise.

By Melissa on Sunday, November 6, 2005 - 02:20 pm:

I actually just read this book with my 3rd grade dd and I think it was fine. We read together and I remembered reading this as a kid. They have been doing a whole unit at school on bullying and Lexi said, "you know Mom I think Blubber was a lot better example of bullying than the things Mr. D used." Remember though Jill is in 5th grade in the book, that was in the 70's. I think in the world today 5th grade then is 3rd grade now. I think it is fine and I feel I am picky about what Lexi is exposed to as far as TV Movies etc.

By Dawnk777 on Monday, November 7, 2005 - 12:24 am:

yeah, I read the description of the book at Amazon and I thought it was about bullying, too. I don't think that would be inappropriate.

I do agree that Fudge wouldn't be a good book for a 3rd grader, though. I think I was more in middle school, when I read it.

By Kate on Monday, November 7, 2005 - 09:33 am:

Fudge? Fudge is fine, IMO. Peter is in fourth grade and his brother, Fudge, is four, I think. The worst thing in the Fudge books (having read all four in the past few months) is a blurb about someone having been mugged. The Fudge books are the ONLY Blume books my fourth grader has been allowed to read.

By Conni on Monday, November 7, 2005 - 10:58 am:

I got the whole Judy Blume set for Christmas in 4th grade. I read them all and loved them all. My Grandma came to visit and was a little mad I had read 'Are You There God Its Me Margaret?' lol She also didnt like my Dukes of HAzzard poster I had on the wall (2 guys with no shirt, and Daisy in her short shorts )... I came home from school and she had cut out paper shirts for the guys and taped them on and paper pants for Daisy and taped them to her!!!! ROFL

I do remember Judy Blume books being the *thing* for my friends and I at this age. That was back in the early 80's tho.

By Tink on Monday, November 7, 2005 - 11:57 am:

Well, she was understanding that I would prefer she wait a year or two to read that particular book. I pointed out the Blume books that I think she'd enjoy and we made a list of other books that she'd like to read so she has a long list to choose from. I have no problem with the bullying aspect of "Blubber". I have a problem with explaining to a naive 8yo about masturbation and casual sex, both of which are alluded to in that book. There are other books that deal with bullying without those aspects and I think they'll get the point across just as well. Thanks for your different viewpoints.