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Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2005: DS is not happy with me
DS (9) is in 4th Grade and is going through a difficult stage. He's having a hard time keeping organized and would much rather do anything that doesn't involve school. As a former teacher, I know this is not uncommon at his age, especially for boys. It's tough for me but I'm allowing him to suffer the consequences when he forgets to do what he's supposed to. This morning as we were driving to school he says, "Oh Mom, I'm supposed to bring my trumpet today." Me, matter-of-factly: "Sorry, too late." DS: "But can't we go back to get it?" Me: "No. You should have checked before we left to make sure you had everything you needed." He got upset and rattled off excuses. Me: "OK, no more computer time in the morning. You need to use that time to be sure you're organized and prepared for school." He was not happy with me. LOL! I reminded him of our long standing rule: NO TV, PC or PS2 before school unless totally dressed and ready for school. Yes, I'm a mean mom! *EG*
Trina, we are going through the same thing with my ds, who is in 2nd grade. He just can't seem to get all his stuff into his backpack. Last week, he left his homework on the dryer(his backpack hangs in the laundry room by the garage door) He realized it right when we got to school. He wanted to go back, but I told him no. We didn't have enough time anyway. He started crying and I felt awful.
My 12 year old daughter is exactly the same way.
Being a mean mom is what it is all about. We are not responsible for making our children happy (especially with us) - we are responsible for helping them to learn how to be happy ... and to learn that actions/inactions have consequences. Better they learn it now when the consequences are fairly minimal.
Good for you for staying strong.
My dd is the same way. She is in first grade and of course expects me to remember everything she needs to bring to school. After she does her homework, she just leaves it on the table. Yesterday i reminded her (for the billionth time) to put her homework into her folder and put that in the book bag. She goes "can't you just do that for me?" "uh, no. It's your responsibility" Hopefully by second grade she will remember to do it herself!
He might not be happy with you now, but when he is an adult who can take care of himeself and get to college classes on time and with what he needs, he'll thank you. Mean moms unite! I am right there with you!
Mean Moms of America----UNITE!!!
Ditto everyone else!!!!!! I've been told *I hate you, you're so MEAN!* more than once and we all lived through it. LOL
Go Mom!
*Hee Hee...* Guess who remembered his trumpet this morning and double checked his backpack before leaving for school?! One small victory for Mom!
Oh man my sons are 10 and 8 and the 8 year old is always telling me i'm a mean mom lol oh well do what i say and behave or i'm going to continue to be one lol = )
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But, he has been so much better this week. He just seems so unorganized and distracted lately. It is driving me crazy. I gave him a warning the other day about making his bed. He went back in to make it. When I got back from taking them to school I went in his room and it still wasn't made. Huh, he specifically went in there to make it? I have no idea what he was doing when he went back to his room! 
I also agree that that best way to learn is through natural consequences. As Ginny said, the pricetag for forgetfulness at age 9 is small compared to the pricetag for forgetfulness at 20. Better to learn now. Wear the Mean Mom title proudly!