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"Im ruining his life"

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: "Im ruining his life"
By Jackie on Tuesday, October 7, 2008 - 12:13 pm:

"Im ruining his life", this is what my 14 yr old son told me last week LOL..It is actually sort of funny to me.
MY son has a few girls in the neighborhood that he hangs out with. They are not"girlfriends" just friends LOL(He likes to remind of that, a LOT). ANyways, sometimes on Friday nights a bunch of them go to the football game at the highschool. I let him walk with his friends there, as it is only a little over a mile away, but my husband ALWAYS picks up after as it is dark then. My husband will also drive home the friends as well. It is no big deal to me or my husband to do this..

So last week, he said he was going to the football game. He said that Emily's brother is driving them home. The brother is 18 or something. I said "NO WAY"... my son asked "WHY?" I explained to him that I do not know Emily's brother or brothers friend, and that I do not know if they drink or do drugs etc. My son assured me they were "not" like that. Again, I said that he was allowed to go and walk there, but his father would pick him up. My son went on to explain to me that he was going to look stupid as the friends would be riding home with the brother and he would be left to wait for his father. He then said "Why do you like to ruin my life?"...Sorry but I had to laugh..When he calmed down he did understand my reasoning and not another word was said about it.
They eventually decided not to go to the football game, but just hangout in the neighborhood instead.

I explained to him in a few years when he is driving and had a license, I would allow him to drive his sisters around(of course depending how well he drove LOL),but would not allow him to drive his sisters friends around.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Tuesday, October 7, 2008 - 12:18 pm:

I am the same way.. My kids do not ride with just anyone period. They know why, they know that I won't sway with this one, and they don't even ask.
My son (16) jokes that it is my job to "ruin" their lives, it gives them character. Ha ha.

By Tarable on Tuesday, October 7, 2008 - 02:59 pm:

LOL.. this reminds me of something my mom said all the time when I was a teen and I said she was "ruining everything" . Her response was "Well, Teenagers are to embarrass so I am doing my job."

By Bellajoe on Tuesday, October 7, 2008 - 03:24 pm:

I"m glad that once he calmed down, he understood where you were coming from.

About teens driving - Yesterday my 7 yr old son said to me "mom, I don't think I am going to drive when I am 16. I don't think I will be ready by then, it's ONLY 9 years from now! I think I will wait till I am 18 years old to drive. Sixteen is just too young for kids to be driving. It's too dangerous"

LOL I love that boy! Now let's see what he says when he is 16!

By Bea on Monday, October 27, 2008 - 06:00 pm:

"The Meanest Mother"

I had the meanest mother in the whole world. While other kids ate
candy for breakfast, I had to have cereal, eggs or toast. When others
had cokes and candy for lunch, I had to eat a sandwich. As you can
guess, my supper was different than the other kids' also.
But at least, I wasn't alone in my sufferings. My sister and two
brothers had the same mean mother as I did.
My mother insisted upon knowing where we were at all times. You'd
think we were on a chain gang. She had to know who our friends were and
where we were going. She insisted if we said we'd be gone an hour, that
we be gone one hour or less--not one hour and one minute. I am nearly
ashamed to admit it, but she actually struck us. Not once, but each
time we had a mind of our own and did as we pleased. That poor belt was
used more on our seats than it was to hold up Daddy's pants. Can you
imagine someone actually hitting a child just because he disobeyed? Now
you can begin to see how mean she really was.
We had to wear clean clothes and take a bath. The other kids always
wore their clothes for days. We reached the height of insults because
she made our clothes herself, just to save money. Why, oh why, did we
have to have a mother who made us feel different from our friends?
The worst is yet to come. We had to be in bed by nine each night
and up at eight the next morning. We couldn't sleep till noon like our
friends. So while they slept-my mother actually had the nerve to break
the child-labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make
beds, learn to cook and all sorts of cruel things. I believe she laid
awake at night thinking up mean things to do to us.
She always insisted upon us telling the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the truth, even if it killed us- and it nearly did.
By the time we were teen-agers, she was much wiser, and our life
became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the horn of a car for
us to come running. She embarrassed us to no end by making our dates
and friends come to the door to get us. If I spent the night with a
girlfriend, can you imagine she checked on me to see if I were really
there. I never had the chance to elope to Mexico. That is if I'd had a
boyfriend to elope with. I forgot to mention, while my friends were
dating at the mature age of 12 and 13, my old fashioned mother refused
to let me date until the age of 15 and 16. Fifteen, that is, if you
dated only to go to a school function. And that was maybe twice a year.

Through the years, things didn't improve a bit. We could not lie
in bed, "sick" like our friends did, and miss school. If our friends
had a toe ache, a hang nail or serious ailment, they could stay home
from school. Our marks in school had to be up to par. Our friends'
report cards had beautiful colors on them, black for passing, red for
failing. My mother being as different as she was, would settle for
nothing less than ugly black marks.
As the years rolled by, first one and then the other of us was put
to shame. We were graduated from high school. With our mother behind
us, talking, hitting and demanding respect, none of us was allowed the
pleasure of being a drop-out.
My mother was a complete failure as a mother. Out of four
children, a couple of us attained some higher education. None of us
have ever been arrested, divorced or beaten his mate. Each of my
brothers served his time in the service of this country. And whom do we
have to blame for the terrible way we turned out? You're right, our
mean mother. Look at the things we missed. We never got to march in a
protest parade, nor to take part in a riot, burn draft cards, and a
million and one other things that our friends did.
She forced us to grow up into God-fearing, educated, honest adults.
Using this as a background, I am trying to raise my three
children. I stand a little taller and I am filled with pride when my
children call me mean.
Because, you see, I thank God, He gave me the meanest mother in
the whole world.

written by Bobbie Pingaro (1967)

By Jackie on Monday, October 27, 2008 - 06:27 pm:

Bea-thanks for posting that..I love it :)


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