Members
Change Profile

Discussion
Topics
Last Day
Last Week
Tree View

Search Board
Keyword Search
By Date

Utilities
Contact
Administration

Documentation
Getting Started
Formatting
Troubleshooting
Program Credits

Coupons
Best Coupons
Freebie Newsletter!
Coupons & Free Stuff

 

Should I be concerned?

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive July-December 2005: Should I be concerned?
By Mrsheidi on Wednesday, July 6, 2005 - 06:40 pm:

Just had Connor's 12 month appointment...he's 22lbs, 14ounces, and in the 97% for height/head size, and 50% for weight.
The doctor said that he has a speech delay because he does not call me "Mama" or his dad "Dada". He says the words, but does not know what they mean.

So, she referred us to an audiologist to check his hearing...hhhmmm...I know he hears fine and is playing with all sorts of sounds.
I don't think it's right to take him to the audiologist though...

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, July 6, 2005 - 07:17 pm:

Heidi, with respect, I don't think it's right to not take him to the audiologist. Your pediatrician is paying attention to important markers, and wants to have a specialist involved who can either make a diagnosis or rule out certain possible problems. If it's not a hearing problem, you may find your ped will suggest other specialists. And I think you should listen carefully. I don't think it is age appropriate for a 12 month old child to not associate the words Mama and Papa with mom and dad, and I would be concerned.

But it's been a long time since I've had children that age, so I hope others who've had that experience more recently, and some of our speech specialists, chime in.

By Missmudd on Wednesday, July 6, 2005 - 08:02 pm:

I agree w/ Ginny. If there is a problem, not saying that there is, it is so much better to get things taken care of early. We didnt pick up that our youngest was not hitting the verbal markers until he was 18 mo and he was #4. He has been in a specialized preschool since that time and his speech is now probably only about 6mo to a yr behind. He is going to go to a "normal" preschool this next fall and they do not see any problems with him entering kindergarden the following year right on schedule.

As far as the audiologist goes, it really is no big deal. To start they will put something that looks kind of like a hearing aid w/ a tube into his ear. Then they take a measurement to see if his eardrum is responding properly. It doesnt hurt, I dont think it even makes noise. They may have him do another test where he would wear headphones and when he hears a noise he is supposed to do something. For us it is stick a ball into a bucket. He may or may not be compliant for that since he is pretty young so it may take a couple of trys to make sure that the readings they get are correct if they do it at all.

By Pamt on Wednesday, July 6, 2005 - 09:00 pm:

Just wondering why you don't think it's right to take him to an audiologist? I would highly recommend it. Just because he CAN hear doesn't mean that he hears perfectly. However, he probably does. Very, very few children statistically have a hearing impairment, but your doctor just wants to rule it out to be on the safe side. You should be thrilled you have such a proactive, in tune doctor. A lot of times we don'thave doctors refer kids for speech problems until 3 yrs when we could have made much more progress at 12-18 months.

As far as speech goes, most 12 month olds are saying a few words with mama and dada being 2 of them. However, just because he is not yet doesn't mean that he has a speech delay. My youngest DS didn't say his first word until he was 15 months old. I was freaking out b/c his brother started talking at 9 mos. Your doctor can't and shouldn't diagnose a speech delay---a speech pathologist should. I would recommend seeing an audiologist first and they will refer to a speech pathologist if needed. If Connor isn't really starting to talk by 18 months (and I mean about 25 words or so by then---most 18 month olds are starting to put 2 words together like "more juice" and "daddy bye-bye"), then I would highly recommend having his speech evaluated.

Missmudd is right. The audiologist will do a tympanogram to assess eardrum function. This is a quick painless test with a probe in the ear beeps and takes a few seconds. They will also probably do an OAE (otoacoustic emissions) test which is also a probe in the ear that bounces back the sounds that Connor can hear and takes only a few minutes. Neither test is worse or longer than having ears checked for an ear infection at the doctor. If there are concerns, then they will suggest a repeat OAE in a few weeks. Still concerns....an ABR (auditory brainstem response test) which is a much longer test for which the child has to be asleep or sedated. I seriously doubt they will need to do an ABR (it's not invasive though). They'll probably get the resutls they need with an OAE.

Definitely follow-up on this and keep us posted!

By Tink on Wednesday, July 6, 2005 - 09:39 pm:

In my opinion, it's better safe than sorry. I wish my pediatrician had been more in tune with the delays my ds exhibited at a young age. The audiologist appointment is almost completely non-invasive and it will cover the bases, since, more than likely, he's fine. If something is wrong, you'd rather know sooner than later. Lots of hugs, Heidi. It isn't easy to hear that there is the slightest chance of "something" being wrong. {{{Heidi and Connor}}}

By Monicamomof3 on Wednesday, July 6, 2005 - 11:02 pm:

Heidi- my advice for you (unless there is other "problems" I don't know about) is for you to relax! He is only 12 months. All children are different. He may know exactly who dada and mama is, but may not be outwardly showing that at this time, or in the way the dr. expects him to. Give him a few more months, I bet he'll show you he knows!

I mean, if it were a pressing medical issue where his welfare were at risk, I would do otherwise, but this is not, is it?

Don't worry- 12 months is a little to early to say a child is delayed. Metacognition is a matter of brain development and development is a mater of every individual child.

My son said only 2 words until he was 18 months and then in a matter of hours began repeating everything I would day. Then, weeks later was speaking sentences and potty training at 20 months! He is right on target with everything!

Maybe you could ask your doctor for a few more months and see how it goes; then take it from there.

Sorry everyone- I know it is quite a diff. opinion that everyone else's but it is just kinda sad to put a mom through worry when it is possible that all the time, money and worry could be for nothing.

Oh, Heidi- does your dr. have children?

By Kaye on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 01:50 am:

Just a side note...do you trust your ped, have you been pleased up until now? If you are going to see a doc, you need to listen, or find a doc that you have some trust with!

By Andi on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 09:28 am:

I agree 100% with Pamt, if my Doctor said DD needed that I would take her.

The reason I go to this Pediatrition is because I trust and value what he has to say. If you feel the same way, what would it hurt to go and see what the audiologist has to say.

Both my children started talking pretty early but DS didnt start walking until almost 14 months, I'm sure Taylor will be the same...all children are so different.

Please let us know what they say.

By Debbie on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 09:32 am:

Ditto, everyone else. If you trust your ped. then I would take him in. It sounds like the tests won't hurt him, so I would do it. Now that your ped. has mentioned it, you are going to worry. So, why not do it and find out for sure if there is something that needs to be addressed. It is very possible that it is nothing. My oldest ds only had a handful of words at age 2! We were starting to worry and then all of a sudden within a week he was talking in complete sentences. You know, he is still quiet to this day at age 7. He just doesn't talk unless he really has something to say.

I would just do the test for your own peace of mind.

By Karen~moderator on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 09:41 am:

Ditto everyone above. And as for the audiologist - Jeff had numerous ear infections and 3 sets of tubes. He was seen by an audiologist for testing when he was very young - due to the fact that they were concerned about scar tissue affecting his hearing. It's always better to be safe where your child's health is concerned.

And several have brought up a good point RE: your pediatrition - do you trust your ped? If so, then I'd do what she suggested. If not, I'd do it anyway, and consider finding another one.

By Mrsheidi on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 09:52 am:

You guys are SO right...it's called DENIAL...guilty as charged...talk about a first time mommy issue. I'm so worried, and just want everything to be perfect that I forget that we are going to the doctor so we CAN hear these things!!
I guess when she wrote down "Speech Delay" on the referral, I panicked.

I'll relax and take him to the appointment to be on the safe side. I guess I'm the type of parent that think everything should come when he's good and ready, but things like that should be taken seriously.
The doctor I go to is the best doctor in town, but it's the first time I've seen her since we moved out here. Sounds bad, but I got in the practice through another doctor just so I can start making appts. with her. I make my appts. 3 months in advance so I can see her. And, yes, I think she has kids. It's not that I don't trust her...but, again, it's just MY denial.

Thanks for the hugs...I'm crying...I'm such a worry wart when it comes to him! I know I'm not the only one who worries about these things...welcome to mommy-hood, Heidi. (self-talk)

By Andi on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 10:00 am:

Don't cry.....You are a wonderful mommy who loves her DS very much. I'm sure he is fine and you will be glad you made the appointment.

Be happy....you have a very cute, healthy, happy 22 POUND baby boy!!!!

By Dawnk777 on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 10:19 am:

Yeah, I would have taken my kids, just for the peace of mind. Otherwise, I definitely would worry too much! At two, Emily said far more words than Sarah, but now, you would never know the difference! (Emily 13 and Sarah 15)

By Kaye on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 10:29 am:

of my 3 kids, one didn't talk really until 18 months. I was worried, he was agressive because he so badly wanted to communicate. We did the hearing, by age 4 we did a little speech class once a week. He did that for about a year and a half, it was all he needed. He is by far my brightest child, his iq is over 150. Sometimes things just click in a different order for different kids. I fully think he developed his motor skills and that was all he could do at the time. He was walking by 8 1/2 months.

I had one doc say at age 1 they should say, use and KNOW 5 words. Only my dd did that. Time fixes most things, but there is so much free help that IF there was a problem, then it is better to catch it early.

By Angellew on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 10:39 am:

From someone who has been in "panic-mode" with you, I totally understand! But, I would definitely calm down and take it one step at a time.

My DD is almost 3 1/2 and we are going to a developmental specialist in a couple of weeks. My DD talks, but is not conversational. Example: She knows every flash card we have in the house... even the big words and can say them perfectly. She can recite EVERY LINE from her favorite movies (with hand and movements to go along with them). Just to prove my own point, I got her a new Pooh video, because she loves Pooh. After seeing it twice, she knew the dialog perfectly. But, she is still not conversational! She's good at stringing 2 or 3 words together, but that's it! Alot of what comes out of her is still baby gibberish! We've been told by our pediatrician that she's fine, but, go to see the specialist! Better safe than sorry later!

So, my point is, every child develops differently and at their own pace! A year from now, you probably won't be able to get a word in edgewise! :)

By Kernkate on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 10:39 am:

IMO I would take him to the audiologist, surely can't hurt anything. As said in the above post all kids are different with developing. Having 3 I know its very true. I wouldn't worry.
Let us know what you decide. Best of luck!

By Tink on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 11:14 am:

Heidi, I'm glad that we were able to say what you needed to hear but, also, that you knew we would be supportive enough to tell us about this in the first place. Don't cry, you are doing exactly what other moms have done throughout the ages. This doubt would sit in the back of your mind and weigh on you until Connor proved to you that he is fine. This way, you can have a professional tell you that he's hearing fine and that he is simply being a normal kid and doing things on his own time-frame. You have a wonderful kid and, once this is done, you won't have anything to worry about. Yeah, right! :) Like the worry with kids ever stops! {{{Heidi}}}

By Karefl on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 03:00 pm:

Please take him & go ASAP! My story is kind of long, but please bear with me...
When my oldest son was around 1-2 I inquires SEVERAL times about his speech to my ped. I have a brother that is 12 yrs younger than I am & my mother used to do in home daycare, so I had experience with many babies. James speech just didn't seem on par with the other kids that I'd known. The ped. gave me the "Boys are slower than girls...All kids develop at different rate" line. When my second son was born we switched drs & I asked the new ped. about the speech of my oldest who by this time was 3 years 4 months. To my shock & surprise she wanted to send us for a hearing test at the local childrens hospital. I thought "I'm concerned about his speech, not his hearing." He seemed to hear us fine. Made sounds in his play, came when we called him, responded to sounds! I even did those do-it-yourself tests to see if he was hearing. You know shake a rattle from behind and all of that. Well, on May 7, 1996 we went for a hearing test. I figured we'd get that out of the way & then go to a speech therapist. My dH stayed outside the booth & could tell that the test wasn't a "normal" one. James was diagnosed with a mild-to-moderate hearing loss bi-laterally. He was missing out on the tones in the high tones in his hearing. The sounds that he wasn't producing in his speech are the ones that ones that he couldn't hear in his world. About 2 weeks later he was fitted with hearing aids & it opened up his world. It's a good thing for your ped to send you to an audioligst as a precaution! You're at a very important time for speech development! *If* there is some sort of problem you can gain a lot of time that we lost w/James!
I completely understand the crying & denial, but even *if* you find that there is a hearing loss it's really not as bad as it sounds. My son is a "normal" kid. His friends know about his hearing aids & even scold him for not wearing them! LOL Once he was outside w/o them on & wasn't responding to his friend who then asked him "Where ARE you hearing aids?!" LOL He can hear w/o them, but with them his hearing is in the normal range. He's 12& 1/2 now & has learned to speak for himself telling camp leaders & adults in new situations that he's Hard of Hearing & that he might not hear them if they are behind him. We get GREAT seats whenever we're at a show or event w/an ASL interpreter! LOL Always trying to look for the bright side! LOL James hearing has never changed in 9 years & my other 2 boys haven't had any hearing loss. They make some GREAT hearing aid stuff for kids too! James has clear hearing aids & blue earmolds right now! When he needs new molds he can get another color if he wants! Okay... I guess that this is long enough! If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me! Don't worry everything will work out! :)
TTYS
Karrie
karefl 812
earthlink.
net

By Jelygu on Thursday, July 7, 2005 - 09:49 pm:

I agree with everyone else about going to the doctor. But, I will tell you this, Christopher didn't really talk at 12 mos either. He said Mama and Dada, but looking back, I don't think he related those words to me or my husband. It seemed like he would never start calling me mommy! Somewhere around 13 months, his vocabulary exploded, and he called us by name. He started saying everything! (and now all I hear is Mommy, all day long, lol)
Take him to the doctor, but try not to worry TOO much. I know how you feel, it is scary to think your child could be behind.
I worried about the speech thing, and about him crawling. Christopher didn't crawl till 9 months, which is normal, but at the time I was freaking out!
Good luck, let us know, and I will keep thinking about you and Connor!

By Lauram on Saturday, July 9, 2005 - 02:31 pm:

My oldest son said 12 words at 12 months- and has TONS of issues (not speech- other stuff). My point is, there are many things that can "go wrong," but that doesn't mean that your child is any less "perfect" than you think he is. He IS perfect- to you. That's all that matters. I do understand your fear. My other son had to go to a cardiologist to get his heart murmur checked. For some reason, that one really scared me. It turned out to be a functional heart murmur- no big deal- but I was SO glad I found the strength to get the answer.

And ABSOLUTELY follow-through and take him to the doctor (audiologist). (We've been to MANY doctors! :) ) And if it turns out to me nothing, it's always great to hear, "He's fine."

By Kay on Saturday, July 9, 2005 - 03:07 pm:

Heidi, it's evident how great a mom you are by looking at the happy face of that adorable child of yours! I know how you're feeling, because many of us have had a trusted doctor suggest something that we didn't come up with first ourselves. :)

Go with the referral, and stop second-guessing yourself over your parenting abilities - you're wonderful!

(BTW, that second-guessing never ends....my oldest is 21, and I'm certainly still doing it.)

By Dawnk777 on Saturday, July 9, 2005 - 03:53 pm:

Emily ended up having to go to a pediatric cardiologist (needed an echocardiogram at 2 months to make sure one of her heart valves had closed - at birth, it didn't close up as fast it should have. All resolved at 2 months. I think it was the ductus arteriosus.)

She also went to a pediatric ophthalmologist, at 5 months old, because one of her eyes wanted to wander over to the side. That also resolved without doing anything special. We only went the one time. She does wear glasses, but so do the rest of us!

By Mrsheidi on Tuesday, August 2, 2005 - 02:46 pm:

BTW, I never thanked you ladies for all your kind words above. Thanks, Kerrie, as well! I appreciated your stories and history...it definitely helped calm me down!!


Add a Message


This is a private posting area. A valid username and password combination is required to post messages to this discussion.
Username:  
Password:
Post as "Anonymous"