I am so upset right now. My Alissa almost 5 has her bedroom so a mess with Barbie's and dolls and I want her to clean it up, I refused yesterday to do it and want her to know if she makes a mess like that she has to clean it, she is being terrible today and won't clean it, I told her I was getting a garbage bag if she doesn't clean and everything is going!!!
She has ALWAYS been good about cleaning up until the past few weeks. Grrrrrrrrr
How do you handle this when your kids won't clean???

By Tonya on Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 01:51 pm:

We bag it all up and he earns it back. I didn't make the mess so I refuse to clean it up. I will go through every 5-6 months and throw stuff away that needs to be trashed and we do a major cleaning in the beginning of December to make room for Santa stuff but otherwise it is his room it is his mess.

I do clean every once in a while but just a quick pu kind of clean and he has a rule it must be clean before he goes to bed. This rule has been there forever though she he knows it and generally we have no problems with him about it.

By Vicki on Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 02:11 pm:

You have to say what you mean and mean what you say for her to start taking you seriously. You told her you were going to get a garbage bag and take care of the mess, that is what you should do. It is up to you if you want to donate it or make her earn it back, but I think you need to follow through with what you said. I bet that will be the last time you have to threaten her.

By Ginny~moderator on Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 02:42 pm:

Please re-think the garbage bag. I strongly recommend not throwing the stuff out - you will never forgive yourself. But, earning it back - that's a great idea.

By Kernkate on Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 03:30 pm:

I would have never thrown it out just put it away for a while, the earning back is a great idea.
But I guess she realized I was serious because within about 45 minutes she had it all cleaned up.
She was always good at cleaning up.

By Tonya on Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 04:26 pm:

I could never throw the stuff out either. Then I would just have to buy it again cause it is always the good expensive stuff that is on the floor. It always takes a while to earn it back and by then they realize man she means business.

2 months ago we had given Timmy many warnings so Rich went outside got the garbage can and put allot of stuff into it and took it out for 3 weeks Timmy thought we threw his stuff away nad then we brought it back in and told him next time it was really gone he has done well since then.

By Crystal915 on Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 06:11 pm:

My mom handled it by bagging up all my toys when I continued to ignore her telling me to clean. At first I thought she had thrown them out, but later she told me I could earn them back. I still remember it even though I was like 6 or so, because it was right after Christmas and I had gotten a new Dr. Barbie, I was heartbroken!!

By Pamt on Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 07:48 pm:

Glad things worked out. One thought I have though from Flylady. I did it with my kids and it was very liberating. How many toys do kids really need and really play with? My kids had tons of toys that they never touched. Less really is more. Once we cleared out and got rid of a lot (at least 2 yard sized garbage bags of toys) they could really see, play with, and manage the toys that we left. I'm talking we were down to several board games, a gameboy and games, a couple of puzzles, a box of Legos, 1 stuffed animal, and a shoebox sized box of vehicles. The process of deciding what to give away--it was a joint decision--was painful, but my boys were so glad with the end result.

By Feona on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 07:32 am:

She is four so I would help her alittle bit.

She pick on Barbie doll up, then you pick a barbie doll up. If she refuses then I would time her out.

This always worked with John. Sometimes at four the mess overwhelms them.

I never tried the bagging all the toys up.. John rarely plays with his toys unless friends are over. So we only have this problem when his friends come over.

Also I was reading a reading program for little kids. They said the child should have sucess in reading and feel like a success. So they made the program very easy in the beginning so the child would be a sucess all along the way.

If you think about it you want her to feel like a success in cleaning too... You know if you feel like you are a sucessful cleaner you will clean more.... Well it is an idea anyway...

By Debbie on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 09:17 am:

My ds's know that they have to clean their rooms each night before bed. If they leave stuff all over, then I pick it up after they leave for school the next day and I keep it until they earn it back. This rarely happens. Now, the boys do have a playroom and this is their room. I don't care if it is a huge mess. I just close the door. They are required to pick up all the stuff off the floor on Sunday nights, so I can vacuum on Mondays. But, other then that they can do whatever they want in there.

Feona, when my ds's have friends over, I have them all clean up before they leave. I have neighbor kids that come over almost every day. They were making huge messes in the boy's rooms. I started having them help clean it up before they left. At first they didn't like the idea, but they know if they want to play then they have to help clean up.

By Eve on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 03:22 pm:

I usually take a toy away and DD has to earn it back. She will do chores (empty bathroom trash, clean up her toys, dust, fold small kitchen and bathroom towels, etc...) to earn them back. She also has to be on good behavior!

I personally see nothing wrong with taking toys away permanantly. I now donate them so they go to a good cause. She *still* talks about when I gave away a little Herbie car of hers! LOL! I think that's good though. I don't want my threats to be empty ones.

BTW-I wouldn't throw out the whole garbage bag, but I would certainly donate a few toys for a good learning lesson!

By Kernkate on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 03:41 pm:

I think she understood the point, today she pulled her Barbie's out and when she was done, I asked her to clean up and she did...maybe yesterday was just a bad day for the both of us.

By Luvn29 on Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 08:53 pm:

I know a lot of people don't see eye to eye with me on this subject, including my husband, but I feel all kids are different.

My room was always a mess as a kid. I am still so unorganized it isn't even funny. I hate housework of all kinds and have to force myself to do any of it. My house is never dirty, but it is cluttered and unorganized most of the time.

I want to be a wonderful house keeper, and I would love to be a more organized person, but I just can't. I can't change who I am.

My husband, on the other hand, is just the opposite. He can clean with the best of the women, and he is very organized.

My daughter, unfortunately, is like me. Just like me. And I totally understand her.

My son is just like his daddy.

So, needless to say, my dh and I have many discussions on the subject of dd's bedroom.

Some people are just not cleaners, and since I have hopelessly been one of those people from childhood, I completely understand!

Now, with this all said, my children have still been taught basics such as taking their dishes into the kitchen, picking up their dirty clothes, picking up toys in the living room, getting backpacks ready, etc. And my daughter loves doing anything that involves playing in water such as dishes, washing things, etc.