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Check up today

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Check up today
By Boxzgrl on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 02:30 pm:

Today Kaitlyn had her 5 year school physical/check up. To my surprise the CDC added a booster of the varicella vaccine so she had to get a shot. :( She weighs in at 46.5 pounds and is 3 feet 9 inches (or 45 inches) tall. And just as I suspected, her vision is 20/40 so we are off to see a specialist for further assessments. Overall though she is very healthy. The doctor was surprised that she knows how to spell her name, knows her shapes, colors, alphabet, numbers and can draw stick figure people. Isn't that NORMAL to know at 5 years old??? I mean, don't kids have to go into kindergarten knowing this? I was a bit surprised.

Anyways... as a treat we went to Starbucks and Kaitlyn picked out an iced chai tea. LOL Just like mommy. I usually don't let her get it but it was her treat for getting a shot.

By Rayanne on Monday, June 23, 2008 - 04:46 pm:

AWWWW...she is getting so big! I cannot believe that she is starting kindergarten! Give her a big hug for me and tell her that I am proud of her too:) They grow up so fast:(

By Vicki on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 07:09 am:

I don't know exactly what "normal" is, but dd could do those things when she went to K also.

By Dawnk777 on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 01:48 pm:

My kids knew a lot of that stuff, before 5! LOL!

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, June 24, 2008 - 05:47 pm:

I definitely don't think it's surprising that she knows those things. Natalie is turning 4 this week and has mastered all of those and more. It's not surprising in homes with involved parents, so maybe the doctor generally has a different clientele. Where I used to teach, there was ZERO parent involvement, so my K's came in knowing next to none of those in general. There were exceptions of course, but generally, they didn't have many of those skills because of their backgrounds. Natalie is light years ahead of most of my former K's at the beginning of the year.

By Brandy on Wednesday, June 25, 2008 - 03:57 pm:

Great job Kaitlyn


well i want everyone to know that my children went to the same school as deanna taught at and they were not poor and neglected as stated in her profile(mine weren't)anyways...

By Luvn29 on Wednesday, June 25, 2008 - 07:29 pm:

Brandy, she did state that there were exceptions, so I imagine that would mean yours.

I live in sw virginia. When I state I work(ed) with children whose families could care less about their education, I'm not speaking of every single child. Especially since my children attend the same school.

Great job with your little one! You must be a wonderful mother for her to know all of those things already! A lot of parents don't get involved and figure it's the teacher's job to teach the child all of these things.

By Reds9298 on Friday, June 27, 2008 - 10:38 pm:

Thank you Adena. Brandy - It's a well known fact that our school (not listing the name) is a high poverty school with little to no parent involvement. In a school of 550-ish students, our PTO consisted of 2 parents for years, and then there was only a handful. That's just one example. I could go on for an hour with stories that would break your heart. Your family was in the minority of exceptions in that school.

I had some low income families that were absolutely wonderful. Low income doesn't equal bad-it's not about the money. Statistics do show however (and my experience tells me) that low income, very young single parent, multiple children families are not involved and as a result produce children who struggle in school both academically and behaviorally. They are often facing obstacles before they are even born, with many mothers receiving no prenatal care and often living lifestyle that includes drugs and alcohol.

You were one of the exceptions, but the statement in my profile is very true. My statement about my own daughter, and my experiences with my nieces and nephews at that age, are true - waaaaaaay beyond the general skill level of my K's at that school. Are you still at that school? Did you remain there through 5th grade with both of your boys? Most of the 'exceptions' aren't there very long before finding greener pastures, and there's a reason for that, as stated above.

To act as if the clientele at this school is anything else is simply not factual. It's in the newspaper at the very least.

By Mommyof5 on Friday, June 27, 2008 - 11:05 pm:

I have no knowledge of the school in question what so ever so my post is not pointed at this particular school but at schools with low income families in general. My kids elementary school has a wide range of income from families who are barely getting by with public assistance to families that live in million dollar homes. The PTA this year wanted to help a disadvantaged school and the principal said some things at the PTA meeting that really made me think. He used to be the princicpal at one of the "disadvantaged" schools the PTA wanted to "help". He stressed that you can not assume that because a parent doesn't come to the parent teacher conferences or don't volunteer in the classrooms that is because they care less about their child than the parent who does do these things. But rather, in his experience with the schools he had been at, many parents were working several jobs to support their families and simply could not do these things. It was a matter of survival----it did not mean that they loved their children any less it was just what they had do. I am embarssed to say that I held some of those prejudices against parents who didn't participate until he shared that with us. It is hard to imagine not being able to spend time teaching your child the basics and going to conferences and volunteering at the school but the reality is that for many people that just isn't possible. It has nothing to do with being lazy or bad.

Again I have NO Knowldege of the school mentioned in the above posts so none of what I have said should be directed to that particular situtaion but I am hoping that it is more of broad view on the subject.

By Tarable on Friday, June 27, 2008 - 11:50 pm:

I can certainly understand the principal's thoughts on it not being that a parent doesn't want to participate but sometimes it is not possible. I was a single mom of 2 until my oldest was about to start 3rd grade and I live in a rather well off community with only one apartment complex in the elementary school district that my dds went to. I lived in a one bedroom apt with both girls for a long time because I wanted them to go to the best school in the area and all I could afford at that apt complex was the smallest one bedroom they had. "My room" was the dining room and the girls shared the bedroom. I was looked down on a lot by other parents when I would actually get the opportunity to show up for a party or awards ceremony or something. I remember when I went to register Alexis they acutally told me where the nanny or butler could pick up the kids. They were supposed to use the door that the daycares use. Talk about intimidation.. I wanted to crawl into a hole at that point.. Me driving to school in a 1974 Volkswagen Beetle w/ no a/c and all too often it broke down.

I was very lucky to have such wonderful daycare workers (that loved my girls) and I spent all my spare time teaching my kids those things so they knew them before K but I always wanted to be at those things I just couldn't because if I didn't work we missed meals.

So yes I do know where the dr was coming from because a lot of kids don't get that stuff before K but that doesn't mean that they are behind or their parents don't care.. just means that there might have been other things that had to come first like work or whatever.

By Brandy on Saturday, June 28, 2008 - 09:48 am:

Nick remained at that school until he was in middle. Alex was taken out in first grade because he is Mimd.

By Luvn29 on Saturday, June 28, 2008 - 12:13 pm:

I agree that it's not always because parents don't care. But in my children's school, most of the parents of these kids don't work. They don't leave numbers where they can be reached, so when their child gets sick, you can't locate anyone.

The specific area where I live is nice, and the entire school is not made up of these parents, but a lot are like that. It's very, very sad, but it's this region I live in.

By Reds9298 on Saturday, June 28, 2008 - 09:07 pm:

The school in question goes way beyond PTA involvement - that was just one example. I agree completely that not being in the PTA doesn't mean you're an uninvolved parent - not at all. That may not have been the best example, given that no one but Brandy is familiar with the school.

Not joining the PTA really means nothing. Parents who never come to conferences, children who are never dressed appropriately, children who are never fed and come to school hungry, children who never have their work done and tell you stories about the parties, the drugs, and the fighting that goes on at their house, children who don't have the most basic skills to begin school, children who would rather be at school than home...the list goes on. THAT is the school in question. And, as Adena said, parents who can never be reached. Homes where you wouldn't believe the filth and chaos you walk into once, the home that the child lives in daily. I can't tell you how many of my students had at least 1 parent in jail, or in and out constantly for drugs.

My DH works full time and in the brief time he spends with our daughter each evening has managed to teach her things that amaze me. Most of this occurs during a bath! LOL Children learn wherever they are doing whatever they are doing. You don't have to be a SAHP for your children to be ready for school and you don't need a ton of $. Just as you mentioned Tarable - you spent all your spare time teaching your kids things to get ready for K. Exactly! THAT'S being an involved parent. :) Being involved doesn't mean that you are at every function - it means that when you do have your time with your kids you're making it count. That shows in kids and was not the norm at the school in question.

By Kittycat_26 on Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - 12:45 pm:

I'm sorry but this boils down to something that I try to live by (though there are still times I forget).

Until you've walked a mile in someone else's shoes, you can't judge them.

By Luvn29 on Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - 02:27 pm:

I don't think anyone is judging anyone. Just making statements about things we have experienced...

By Reds9298 on Tuesday, July 1, 2008 - 10:20 pm:

I am absolutely not judging anyone!!! I'm sharing the climate of the school that I taught in for 7 years. I'm sharing my experiences with families and children. 50 kids/year for 7 years - that's a lot of kids and a lot of parents. A HUGE percentage of the population that I worked with were NOT WORKING PARENTS. They were parents who spent their days sitting on the couch, coming to conferences stoned, and not meeting their child's basic needs. *That* I DO judge, but I haven't done that here. All I've stated is how that affects a child's school readiness, which was the point of this conversation to begin with.

By Kittycat_26 on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 - 10:07 am:

The internet is full of perception. If I perceive it as judging it's possible others have as well.

By Ginny~moderator on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 - 11:54 am:

OK - one person's "perception" is another person's "opinion" - and one person's opinion is that another person's perception is an opinion. This could go on for a long time. Let's not go there.

By Reds9298 on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 - 04:42 pm:

I have not said people are poor parents because they don't have money or because the opposite they work all the time. What I *have* said however, is that MY experiences with a particular school population has been one of complete lack of parental involvement, none of which was because of working parents. My working parents were the best parents.

Quite frankly, Kittycat I think YOU are judging something that you know absolutely nothing about, which is the school in question. We're not generalizing people here. We're not talking about what good parenting is. We're talking the demographics of ONE particular school.

By Bobbie~moderatr on Wednesday, July 2, 2008 - 09:26 pm:

Back to Melissa....

I am very glad to hear that Kaitlyn had a good physical, it is always great to get a good report. It is really hard to believe she is going into kindergarten already.

Around here the pre K screening/evaluation requires the children to be able to do everything you listed (and then some). To my knowledge, a child unable to complete the task is not permitted to enroll, they are sent for further evaluation (checking for delays, readiness, etc.) at one of the many local preschools. If they are unable to complete basic skills, after further evaluation, they are referred to one of the preschool programs that best suits their issue. We have an MRDD, two low income, and so on preschools in our area.

Be ready, once they start school, they age even quicker.. Tomorrow it will be finger painting and letter tracing, before you know it, it will be SAT/ACT scores and college applications.... :( Enjoy these years...


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