That's a cheerful heading, huh?

My grandfather just moved back into our town and stopped by to see us today. He moved back after my grandmother died. My kids hadn't seen him in quite a while. So after grandpa left, my ds askes me "mommy, where is great grandma?" So i told him that she died and was in heaven now. He says "who pushed her?" "noone pushed her honey, she was old and sick and she died" (there was more to the explanation than that of course). "Who died her, mommy?" "noone killed her Joey, she was sick and her body just stopped working, she died" "why did she die mommy?"

Then dd (5) chimes in "did she die like Grandpa (my dad) died and went to heaven?" "Yes."

I just thought it was cute that my ds asked "who pushed her?" and "who died her?" He thought someone killed her i guess. Poor thing is just trying to understand why he doesn't get to meet his great-grandmother. Last time we saw her was when he was about 5 months old.

So how else would you explain death to a almost 4 yr old?

By Missmudd on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 06:19 pm:

I think that you did great. Little people get some really strange ideas. My almost 4 yo thinks that ambulances only have dead people in them. I think just reorintating him to reality and answering his questions is about the best you can do since they really dont have a firm concept of "dead" yet.

By Vicki on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 07:05 pm:

I think you did just fine too. Death is such a hard concept for kids to get. Heck, half the time I don't understand why things happen like they do, how can we expect kids to get it!!

By Ilovetom on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 09:15 pm:

I think you did great.

When my father in law died my girls were young and someone gave me Maria Shriver's book- What's Heaven? It helped some too.

By Tink on Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - 09:20 pm:

I think that most children will accept the answers you give them to the questions you ask. Anything more is probably just going to confuse them. Sometimes we, as adults, offer too much information. As long as he is asking questions, answer them as best you can for the age he is at. At four, I think you covered exactly what needed to be covered.

By Feona on Thursday, November 4, 2004 - 06:11 am:

We are going through the same questions.

Ds wanted to know where dr. Seuss was. So I (idiot that I am) said he was dead. Oh boy. I opened the flood gates. He wanted to know why he died. I said because he was very old. Next was is grand ma going to die? After that every day with the death. Do birds die? Okay now we know all animals die. I really need a book. Thanks for the suggestion.

By Kernkate on Saturday, November 6, 2004 - 07:58 am:

Maria Shriver's book- What's Heaven is a very good book, My DS who is now 10 has gone thru the death of his 2 grandmas, 1 grandpa, great grandma, and his 1/2 brother all in 4 years. He really liked this book and I do think it helped him.

By Cocoabutter on Monday, November 8, 2004 - 04:41 pm:

My ds asked these questions when he watched the movie "Lion King" when Mufasa died. He was about 4 years old.