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Having ds tested for ADD......

Moms View Message Board: Parenting Discussion: Archive January-June 2004: Having ds tested for ADD......
By Mara on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 09:36 am:

My 7 year old ds is struggling in school. He is repeating kindergarten because last year his teacher felt that he needed more time to mature and one more year of kindergarten would do the trick.
Well, his teacher and I have noticed that this extra year of kindergarten is'nt really helping.
I had a conference yesterday and she seems to be leaning toward Obssesive Compulsive Disorder. I've looked that up and researched it and I don't think that is it. He does not obsess over things. There is nothing that he "feels" he must do everyday or over and over.
I'm thinking it is Attention Deficeit Disorder minus the hyperactivity.
Let me give you some idea of how my ds behaves..
At home I have to tell him several time to do a simple task, exspecially if the tv is on and he is too involved in it to really hear what Im saying.
After telling him something he almost always says What, and wants me to repeat it. It's almost like he has to block everything else out just to hear what I"m saying.
He LOVES playing his video gameboy, he can hold his attention with that very good for some reason.
He is very inpatient, He will inturupt while others are talking and gets mad when you tell him to wait. Then he will forget what was so inportant when you ask him.
He gets upset when its time to do homework or study, he want to just rush though it. He makes careless mistakes that I know that he can do.

At school the teacher says that he figits with things instead of wanting to listen.
He inturupts her when she is talking.
He can write his numbers to 100, he has done this many times but he always wants to stop when he gets to around 30, he will say that he cant go further, and will be upset if you tell him he must do it.
He always trys to copy off other kids, even on easy things that we know he can do, because it takes too much effort for him to do it alone.
He always wants to write in "scribble" writing, he doesn't want to take the time to do it neat.
He just doesn't pay attention. His teacher and I don't think that he means to be this way, because he will appologize for fidgiting or not paying attention, then the next min. he's doing it again.
He is a good boy. He plays well with others, has compassion, understands right from wrong, gives hugs, and is all around a good kid.
Another thing, when we practice spelling words. For example-the word black. I will have him write it 5 times, he wont do it 10 times he complains that it takes too long. Then after he writes it we will spell it out loud together many times in a row, over and over. Then 20 sec. later I will ask him how to spell it and he can't or he will struggle badly. We just spelled it over and over! It's like it won'y sink in! If I try over and over then he just gets bored and says he's tired, he's hungry, he has to go pee, he won't want to try.
I think in my heart that he wants to do it, but he cant concentrate so he gets frustrated.

Does this sound like ADD? It does to me. Do any of you have children like this who have been diagnosed already?

By Ladypeacek on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 10:14 am:

I don't think it sounds like ADD at all. I studied that in school for a year. I think it sounds like a 7 year old. My dd is 8 and she does ALL of those things. A child with real ADD CAN'T keep his attention on anything not even a game or tv. In fact they usually have bad physical and motor skills. He is 7 and in kindergarten and that may have alot to do with it. He is older than the other kids and may feel like bad and not even realize that. This sounds like his way of acting out against something he isn't happy with. My dd is is just 8 and in 3rd grade. I can almost guarantee that he CAN spell those words you think haven't sunk in but when he doesn't he continues getting attention. We spend alot of time with our dd but it seems like its never enough. Some kids just need more than others.
I believe parents and teachers are too quick to call it ADD becuase that lets everyone off the hook for the blame. If we can just call it something medical then it makes it easier. If i were you i would just find different techniques. Every kid learns different. My daughter can't learn when the teacher talks, she starts to doodle and talk to others. But she can learn when she does it herself. We found some games that teach real well and there are ALOT of computer games that are fun and educational. What got her motivated was playing speeling games on the computer and math and all the subjects. If he likes the gameboy then he will most certainly enjoy the computer. I would suggest trying everything before deciding its ADD.

By Mara on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 10:31 am:

Kenna, do you have any websites that I can visit that show the signs of ADD? I've looked on-line but the sites I've found don't give a lot of info.
I also think that a lot of kids are misdiagnosed with this. But, this isn't the first time that I've noticed differences in ds. Every since he was very little he has struggled in comprehension. Since he was 3 he has had a speech therapist. He still has speech problems now, but that has gotten much better.
People always say to follow your mommy instincts. I do beleive that there is something going on with him. Maybe it's not ADD, but I do think it is something.
I have tried many things, many different ways to teach ds. I've tried flashcards, many different games, posting things on the refrigerator that he sees often, I've done computer games, Leap Pad, I just feel like I'm running out of options. I don't want to ignore it and then have him struggle in the first, second grade and so on. I want to find the problem and address it as soon as possible before he gets too far behind.
I'm a very attentive mom, I'm not saying that you are implying that I'm not, but I've tried so hard with him that my other son who is 4 is already learning these things because he hears me with his brother. There are many times that he will chime in the answer before his brother will.
I hope you are right, I hope he is just being a "normal" 7 year old.

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 10:59 am:

ADD/ADHD symptoms here:
CHADD.org

I don't have much time to post, but has any testing been done? I would recommend a thorough evaluation. The school can't make a diagnosis alone. It could be a lot of things, ADD, a learning disability, etc..

By Mara on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 11:09 am:

Trina, his teacher and his principal said to have him evaluated through our doctor. They told me that their tests don't nessasarily show ADD all the time and that our doctor would be better at diagnosing him. We go on April 23rd to see the doctor.

I will check the website you gave me, thanks :)

By Trina~moderator on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 11:16 am:

A regular doctor will not be able to test for learning disabilities, etc. but should be able to refer you to someone who specializes in that area.

By Lauram on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 01:52 pm:

I responded to this, but I'm not sure if I remembered my last click! Anyhow, my son has both ADHD and OCD. I strongly disagree with the statement that ADHD kids can not focus on gameboy. My son is HYPERFOCUSED on gameboy, TV and computer. I also am very concerned by the tone of your message- it seemed like the teacher was trying to diagnose your son. That is NOT ok. He needs to be evaluated by a TEAM and have a comprehensive evaluation (this is VERY important). It sounds like the school should be considering testing for learning disabilites (as Trina mentioned). If not, you should probably request that (in writing). My son was diagnosed by a team including: a neurologist, a psychologist, classroom teacher, school psychologist and parents.

By Mommmie on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 01:52 pm:

Might want to look at ADD and learning disabilities.

schwablearning.org is a great site. Look at the Connecting section and there is a message board.

ADD is a medical condition and is dx by a doctor. The school can't, shouldn't, be dx that. Learning disabilites are education-related and the school can evaluate for that. In writing, request a complete eval by the school. If you have the funds get a private eval done too for the LDs. School evals don't tell you everything.

By Marcia on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 01:56 pm:

Kenna, I have to respectfully disagree with some of your points. Having ADD doesn't mean that kids can't sit still. There are varying degrees. Kid who are truly hyperactive cannot sit still for even very short periods of time, but that's different than ADD.
One of my kids has been diagnosed with ADHD and LDs. She fits all of the criteria. She isn't overly active, but she does fidget, talk over people, etc. She has her own way of learning, and so I've chosen to homeschool half time. I can teach the way she learns, whereas the school wasn't doing that.
I didn't take any of this lightly. I waited quite some time to have her diagnosed, and I chose not to use meds. I have questioned everyone all along, instead of just going along with the first person who thought she might have it.
For the record - she is only one of my kids, and I am well aware of what "typical" behaviour is. This is not it. She is a wonderful child, and has many strengths. We just have to build on those strengths, rather than focus on her areas of need.
Joan, I would look into having someone professional check him out. Not just your GP, but someone who does this all the time. I agree that many kids are misdiagnosed, but I think that sometimes our fear of a wrong diagnosis holds us back from seeking one that might help.

By Marcia on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 01:58 pm:

My daughter also hyperfocuses on things - mainly her own thoughts. It can be very frustrating. She can be so obsessive, but not in an OCD way.

By Coopaveryben on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 09:30 pm:

I know you are planning on it but I would always use my own doctor's if you have the means (instead of the schools), this keeps any results off his record and keeps him from being "labeled" through school. It could really be anything and I'm glad you are having him checked I know it can be really frustrating I remember going through this with my neice..it's really difficult when you are working on homework. I would just review something with her and ask her a question about what I told her and she couldn't do it. My brother and SIL never had her checked, she is now in the 8th grade and really struggling to keep afloat.

By Mara on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 11:58 pm:

Thanks for all the input!
My son's teacher, principal, and speech teacher have discussed my ds with one another to get each others thoughts. Then my sons teacher came to me and said this is what they think might be going on. They are being very nice about it and not pushy at all. His teacher said that I might want to mention it to his doctor and that usually they send these cases to Indianapolis or Cincinatti to see specialist. I'm in Indiana.
I have set up the app. with our doctor on April 23rd.
There are several members of dh's family that have been diagnosed with ADD, only one of those diagnosed has the hyperactivity. 3 of my dh's nephews, and my FIL feels that he suffered from this as a child, and my MIL thinks that my dh did also. Neither of them were diagnosed or treated.
My ds is very bright, you can have very grown up conversations with him, and he has very mature ideas. He has a very creative thinking process. Sometimes he is afraid to try or attempt things that require thinking because he does'nt want to fail. He alwasys ask "But, what if I get it wrong?" If I tell him that it's okay to be wrong sometimes he does'nt think that is okay. He does'nt want to be different. I love him with my heart and soul and it hurts me to see him struggle. We will practice homework activities and he will do pretty good at home, then the very next day at school he will completely bomb the quiz, he will get every answer wrong. I just don't think that he has the ability to store the information for long periods of time, unless it is something that he loves.
I'm not just jumping into this with eyes shut. This isn't the first time that I've thought about this and it's not the first time I've had people tell me this. His preschool teachers had concerns when he was 4-5 years old. I thought I would just give him time to come out of it...you know? But here it is 2 years later and he is still showing signs of problems.
I think I will go ahead and get a mental evaluation too, although the teachers at school all agree that they don't think it is that. He is learning, he is up to par with kindergarten standards. It just takes him longer to sink in. But, really I know very little and it's hard telling what is up with him. I just am so afraid, I don't want him to be labled as mental retarded. I don't want him to be placed in a special class. I don't want him to be "different"! I'm having a hard time dealing with all the unknowns right now. I honestly think he is very bright and sometimes I think maybe he is gifted. But, I'm his mother and maybe I'm blind to it, part of me want's to ignore it and hope it goes away, but I can't and I won't do that. I want the best for him, I"m just lost as to what that is right now.
It's going to be a very long month.

Thanks for reading my posts, they have been so long and I appologize.

Mara

By Trina~moderator on Friday, April 2, 2004 - 07:12 am:

{{{Mara}}} Your son is not mentally retarded! If he truly has a learning disability then services will help him to succeed. At the very least, get a thorough evaluation done by a team of experts. Then you will have a better idea of where to go from there. I personally feel it is terribly wrong not to seek and get help for a child who is struggling in school. I don't agree with the whole "Label" issue either. Parents who don't get their children tested because they don't want them "labeled" are denying their kids the help they need. My own DD has an IEP for speech therapy. There is NOTHING wrong with special ed. services! It is possible to have ADD and be gifted at the same time. It's also possible to have ADD and have learning disabilities at the same time. It could be a lot of things but testing is necessary. Most likely your son will not be placed in a special class. That's usually only done for extreme cases. Nowadays students may leave the class for short periods for services or a tutor comes into the class to work with the student. Vent here any time. As fellow mothers we *know* how you feel. {{{HUGS}}}

By Texannie on Friday, April 2, 2004 - 08:32 am:

I would also have him tested for Dyslexia and other processing disorders. He sounds very much like my nephew, who is not ADD but has a LD that causes him to process differently. He learned to work through that and is doing wonderfully and is in 8th grade.

By Mara on Friday, April 2, 2004 - 09:53 am:

I've actually asked his teacher about Dyslexia she said that they usually don't test for that until a child is in the second grade! But, the thing is if he had'nt been kept in kindergarten again this year then he WOULD be going into 2nd grade next year. Maybe I will mention this again. I just really hope that we find out soon. Thanks for all the support :)

By Texannie on Friday, April 2, 2004 - 10:12 am:

I know you trust his teacher's opinions, but they are not experts in this field nor are the diagnosticians. If this were my child, I would talk to his pediatrician, but also schedule an appointment with a counselor who does the actual testing. If you can get the testing done via the school district great, but do the testing.

By Amecmom on Friday, April 2, 2004 - 10:37 am:

Does the school have an educational evaluator on staff? If not, does the local school district have someone they use? If you have the testing done by the school, he will not be labeled, and they cannot do anything without your consent as far as services.
Is the teacher trying a behavior modification system with him in school - a simple chart for the things he has trouble with? If not, talk to her about one, and try using one at home. I've seen them work wonders for helping children break things down into small reachable goals. You have nothing to loose by having him tested. As you say, he's already repeated a year of kindergarten, with little result.
Remember, ADD is a physical disorder which can be managed with or without medication in some cases, depending on the severity of the symptoms. Expecting certain behaviors from a child with ADD without intervention is like expecting a diabetic to process sugar without insulin, so for sure have your ds tested.
I've known many children who are very bright and gifted, but have suffered with ADD.
Have your child evaluated. Then go from there. There's no use speculating about a diagnosis until the eval is done. It could be anything from a processing problem to an emotional one - or just something that will resolve itself with time.
Ame

By Pamt on Friday, April 2, 2004 - 11:21 am:

Mara, this is a subject near and dear to my heart. Kids like your son are the ones I LOVE working with the most (I'm a speech pathologist). It's the kids who want to do well and struggle with it who are such a joy to work with. I make it my goal to try to crawl into their brains and figure out just where the breakdown is ccurring. You have already had so many diagnoses thrown out at you and the medical/educational community is always quick to "diagnose" ADD/ADHD when actually an underlying learning disability is the cause. A learning diability has NOTHING to do with IQ or intelligence. I prefer LD to mean "learning differently" than learning disabled. A child with learning differences is every bit as smart as his peers, but may be more of a kinesthetic learner than an auditory or visual learner for example. I work with a lot of kids with reading problems and one of the first questions I usually ask parents is if their child is a good artist or likes to draw. They usually look surprised say, "Oh yes! X loves to draw and is quite good at it." When I go on to tell them that it is very common for poor readers to be very artistic they are somewhat relieved and then I explain how we will use their strength (art, visual skills) to work on their weakness (auditory skills, comprehension, etc.). I use drawing and art a lot to improve reading with great success. All of this to say, if your child studies hard and know the info and then does poorly on a test there is something going on and it may well be retention and memory, NOT attention-related. The trick is to find out where he breaks down. Once you find this he will probably be relieved just to have this difficulty acknowledged and addressed. Mel Levine, one of my heroes in learning diability research (http://www.allkindsofminds.org) calls this "desensitization" and finds it to be a powerful tool in helping children.

As far as who/how to test him, I would strongly suggest a developmental pediatrician, which you can find in larger cities and/or where there is a children's hospital. This is a pediatrician who specializes in diagnosing and treating children with learning differences. Good luck!! Don't worry...you are getting your son help and ultimately helping his self-esteem. That's always a good thing!!

P.S., And no...it certainly does not sound like your son is mentally retarded.

By Michimo on Sunday, April 4, 2004 - 10:26 am:

MARA, YOU HAVE DESCRIBED MY DS TO A T! THANKS FOR THE DESCRIPTION AND QUESTIONS. I HAVE THOUGHT FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS THAT I WAS JUST BEING TO IMPATIENT WITH HIM. MY DS WILL BE 7 THIS SUMMER. ANOTHER PROMINENT THING HE DOES, IS TAKE BREATHS BEFORE HE CAN GET WORDS OUT. LIKE HE HAS TO RE-GROUP OR SOMETHING. DOES YOUR DS DO THAT?

By Mara on Sunday, April 4, 2004 - 08:48 pm:

Michelle, I've not noticed my ds doing this, but he does seem to repeat words often in his sentences. I'm glad this was helpfull for you too :) I'ts always nice to know that there are others out there who go though the same every day struggles.


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