My daughter is 9, well almost 10 and she acts like she is already a teenager. She has got the whole eye rolling, head flinging, feet stomping, and door slamming thing going already. What do I do? I remember trying to get an attitude with my mom but I was much older. One thing with my daughter is she is only 9 but looks much older and therefore I think that somehow is affecting her also. Grounding has not worked or any kind of threatening. Any suggestions? She is a very head strong, live wired red head. Shes also very much of a smart mouth, even with her friends. I just don't get why she wants to act like that and I still haven't gotten to the "real" teenage years. When I was a kid I would've have gotten the spanking of a lifetime for the way she acts, but thats not really the way I want to go. Anyway she is as big as me, like I said, "HELP"

By Jodes on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 05:46 pm:

Ugh! I wish I could help, my 8 year old son sometimes has an attitude like a teen, and what we have found to work for when he back talks or acts "too big for his britches" as we call it, is giving him extra chores, or taking away something he enjoys for a certain amount of time, and LOTS of one on one discussions about why he is having an attitude, and what we can do to prevent it and a lot of times, it's because he is tired, hungry, or overwhelmed, and just talking about it sometimes seems to help.
I don't know if I have helped much, but good luck!!

By Nlpeck on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 05:55 pm:

Thanks, I laughed when I read about the extra chores, because I have done that and that actually helps sometimes. I will think of things for her to do(other then things she should do, like cleaning her room) like dusting, folding clothes, it seems to take some of the wind out of her sails and calm her down when she gets in a tizzy. But you better believe I am getting eye rolling the whole time

By Cat on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 10:43 pm:

I've told people sometimes living with my 9yo son is like living with a hormonal teenage girl! lol He can have such an attitude at times! And it's starting to rub off on his 7yo brother. I usually take things away from Robin. Precious things are the most effective. Like his Gameboy. Man, just threatening to take that away usually does wonders. I don't have a lot of advise for you, but you are SO not alone! lol Hang in there, Mom. It's supposed to get better (so I've heard!). Hugs!

By Susan10 on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 11:56 pm:

Someone else posted a similar thing, and I asked my 13 year old about smart-mouthing, and she said she and brother would be afraid to. I never ground them or punish them, but since they were old enough to understand, I NEVER let them say the slightest thing that could be construed as disrespectful (or to their friends or anyone else). I don't think I'm scary, in fact I'm kind of the fun mom who takes the kids and their friends places...I just don't allow any snottiness. I get in their faces and say, "Don't ever say that to me again." My older sister told me this a long time ago, kids have to know you're the parent. You pin them against the wall and say, "You are not talking to me like that again. Do you understand?" If she looks the other way or doesn't seem to get it, you get more in her face and say, "Do you understand?" You have to be VERY consistent. Then forget about all those other punishments. I even asked my daughter about that (the grounding) and she said, No, because that wouldn't make her daughter feel bad. I agree with my daughter. Your daughter should feel bad for smart mouthing you. It's wrong. You don't deserve it.

By Kaye on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 10:15 am:

I too have a 9 year old daughter, it is a tough age. They are too big for a swat on the butt to make a difference. Yet they aren't quite into things yet. This is a big transistion, from dolls to primping, and trying to find themselves. My son is so much easier, he is so into his game boy I can easily say, another disrespectful word and I get it for a week. That nips it in the bud. What has finally worked with my daughter (this week..lol). Is I sat down with her and just told her, "this is working for me" your behavior is ruding and unbecoming. We will not have a household like this. You will do your part and that is yada yada yada. We spoke for over an hour. I got mad and really laid into her, not mean, just plain and simple. I explained that people don't like rude people, period and how she behaves now will influence her as an adult. And it is my job to make sure she controls that so that she can grow up to be a person worth liking. Anyway, I have to say that these past couple weeks have been good, very good. I think, hmmm did I just never tell her what I expected, in clear understandable terms? Also, at the first sign of disrepect I call her on it, I will say, that is hateful stop, or that is not respectiful. I had a tendancy to let a little smart mouth fly past, but I have made a big effort to point out every behavior and really I have only said it maybe 5 times this week. Good luck.

By Nlpeck on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 12:56 pm:

I have stayed on top of her and in fact I have a 6 year old who is great, easy going. My 9 year old has never been easy going, so I think this is alot to do with her personality. She has always been wide open and testing boundaries every chance she gets from the time she could walk and talk. I use the same rules for her and my 6 year old but have 2 different children. I don't let her just disrepect me or anyone else for that matter. I always call her on it and let her know that it is not acceptable. And she'll say okay. But I can tell she is thinking "whatever". My 6 year old would never think to smart mouth. As someone said in their post their kids would be afraid to and thats how my 6 year old is. But my 9 year old has never been afraid of anything. She doesn't care if you swat her butt, if you take her things she is still going to try to get away with what she thinks she can. All I can say is I am not looking foward to those teenage years when I know she will be h*!! on wheels.

By Susan10 on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 03:20 pm:

It's hard when you can't get to a kid. I like the lecture Kaye gave her daughter. Sometimes if you appeal to their sense of right and wrong with a really good talk, it sinks in slowly. Results might not happen right away, but maybe over the long run...